Thanks Wonka, asking W why she can't accept a genuine compliment sounds like a good idea.
I do think her self-esteem has been improving. I believe W is working on her issues... whether or not she'll warm up to me remains to be seen.
There has been a bit of shoulder touching, Heather. Maybe I'll try to build on that.
The hair brushing/head massage was a semi regular thing that W always enjoyed, and has continued to accept. I don't see it unmanly in the least. It's a H doing something for his W that he knows she likes. She almost always thanks me afterwards, so that seems to be a good sign.
I also only do it about twice, maybe three times a month. (and only when the timing seems right) I don't want to do it too much and look pathetic.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
W and I met with our tax guy last night. Our 2013 return came up with a balance due of less than $10, just the way we like it. Yay!
Through this entire crises, W and I have always lived and done things together. Immediately after BD things were extremely tense between us. You could feel it, and it was like that for quite awhile. It’s getting to be more and more noticeable how comfortable we are becoming around each other. It’s been a slow, gradual change that is difficult to notice, unless I stop and really think back to how things were many months ago.
Still not a lot of touching between us, but I think that may come with time. W has to feel comfortable enough to do it on her own, there's no way I can force it. Besides, I only want it if it's real. I just gotta be my confident, comfortable self. Allow her to see the passion I have for life. Tune into her, be fun, and open up as she warms up to me.
W likes to add quotes to the bottom of her emails. Inspirational messages like today’s:
The most difficult times for many of us, are the ones we give ourselves. ~Pema Chodron
I like what I’m seeing.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
Your doing FAB & your an inspiration FY! Your always so positive & see the best in every situation, so glad things seem more comfortable between you both that must make it a lot more relaxed.
The physical side will come when your both ready, it sounds like your doing all the right things for it to progress naturally & letting her take the lead - it must be difficult at times for you not to want to instigate the intimacy?
I hope things continue to move in a positive direction for you!
Divorce Final: Oct 2014
Your struggles today, develop strength for tomorrow...
Thanks, Uptown. If I have been an inspiration to anybody I am happy! I have my down moments like everyone else does... but I feel it's important to look for positives to help keep us going.
We also need to find a way to enjoy each day no matter what is tossed our way. We only have so many days, right? Gotta make the best of 'em!
Wonka, that bum pat was a slip up. I seen, I spanked. Should I try it again?
Tori, I can hardly wait for my personally signed with a kiss copy of your book! Oops, I hope you don't mind the kiss and tell!
TVS! I'm doing very well, thank you. I've slowed down on my posting here, and have been more active on an alternate site. I've been considering taking a break from both sites, just to clear my head from all the sitch talk and see where that leaves me. I want to give my W more, and I can't share much of the DB or FB stuff with her. Not good for building a new connection!
I'm considering looking into taking a dance class. Hopefully even drag W into it eventually! Imagine that!
Bust On, you all!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
W had a difficult time at work yesterday. Talked on the phone with me about quitting her job, and finding a train to jump in front of as a way out of all the pain. Stuff I’ve heard before, but this time she sounded buried deep in despair. I offered her my support, and said we will talk when she gets home.
I get home first, so I always prepare dinner. I had a nice meal and a hot bath ready for her. She came in in good spirits, and we had pleasant conversation. Later, while she was in the bath, I expressed my concern for her wellbeing, and asked what I could do to help her. I allowed her to talk and when she was done said I was here for her. She thanked me.
This morning she left on vacation on her own. One of her job perks… highly discounted, all inclusive trips to warm sunny resorts. Four days relaxing on the beach. We will maintain casual contact, usually once a day. In June, we will likely be taking one of these trips together for our 31st anniversary… provided she’s still working there!
A have a weekend of projects and fun activities planned.
A Busting On we go!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
I get home first, so I always prepare dinner. I had a nice meal and a hot bath ready for her. She came in in good spirits, and we had pleasant conversation. Later, while she was in the bath, I expressed my concern for her wellbeing, and asked what I could do to help her. I allowed her to talk and when she was done said I was here for her. She thanked me.
Holy Shid FY. You need to hire yourself out to single, worn out women. Jeez. I'd pay big bucks for that kinda attention and care.
Maybe Mr. Knightlys DO Exist. She is a lucky gal. Remember that. :-)
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
