Go on the date, stay in the moment, and just be you. e that laid back, careless, and forever young self and things will go fine.
As for the dream...My take is that it represent you feel subconsciously like you are helping your wife deal with her emotional baggage. The lack of overall feeling I would take as you are not emotionally invested in her emotional journey other than frustration it has taken so long. So overall I would say a pretty good dream and look into how your subconscious is viewing what is happening in reality.
Thanks for the words of encouragement, Wonka, FC and LFW.
Originally Posted By: Lostforwords
As for the dream...My take is that it represent you feel subconsciously like you are helping your wife deal with her emotional baggage. The lack of overall feeling I would take as you are not emotionally invested in her emotional journey other than frustration it has taken so long. So overall I would say a pretty good dream and look into how your subconscious is viewing what is happening in reality.
I never put much stock into the meaning of dreams, 'cause you know, some are just plain nutty, but I really like your interpretation here. Thanks!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
W told me about a dream she had last night, where she was running from death. She was in a huge open park, with mountains off in the distance. There was a landslide, and the mountains started to crumble down. Then large volumes of water started to flood the area. Everyone knew they were going to die.
W ran, with others, to try to get to safety. She came across a pay phone and picked it up. The person on the other end told her there was one air ticket left to get out of the area, and she could have it if she made it there in time. She struggled to get there before it was too late. On the way, she seen an old man sitting calmly on a bench, with full knowing of his impending fate. She pondered his calm acceptance that this would be the end of his life.
W made it to the airport, secured the last ticket, and prepared to board the plane even as she struggled with the knowledge that the others who were with her would almost certainly be killed.
So, it would seem that contrary to W’s occasional comments of wanting to end it all, she really does want to live. Even though she won't admit it, I’m thinking at least part of the reason is wonderful me.
When she finished telling me her dream, I told her of the one I had recently of driving her to the bus station, on a forklift, with a pallet load of her stuff. I posted the details of this dream earlier.
When finished, I jokingly asked W if she hadn't recently bought any bus tickets. She said no, and interestingly added “But you’ll probably be packing up my stuff when I’m out today!” also stated in a joking manner.
After this she got kinda quiet. Maybe pondering that a life without me is a possibility, and not liking it? Bust On, you all!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
Oh, and dinner last night with GF and her BF went great. Everyone had a good time... lots of joking and laughing. W seemed plenty comfortable once things got underway. GF said this morning she had a great time also.
BF is a cardiologist, and his stories were interesting. Divorced, he was the only one of the 4 of us who had kids. And now grandkids! Nice guy and all, but watching GF interact with him made me feel W and I will still be together long after their relationship is done and gone.
W may not be ready to be physical with me, but she most certainly is not doing anyone else either! Yay! Maybe a little more time for her to figure her stuff out is in order. (darn it all!)
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
FY, another way to look at that dream is that she is dealing with getting older. At least subconsciously. That dream says to me that she's dealing with that and the fight or flight feelings. i.e. make the madness stop.
To be honest, I think that's a good thing she's having those kind of dreams and is telling you. Having them because that's how those feelings start to come to the surface and because she trusts you enough to tell you. Don't betray that trust! I feel that's really important right now. Critical.
I think things are moving along well, FY. Very good things to hear, but you'll have to be patient and continue building that trust. Happy for ya!
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
I too like that W can and does still confide in me about many things, and I try to encourage this and keep that "safe" channel open.
But then it's not all that surprising that she does this, as she did say at BD that she wanted to remain "good friends". So I guess I'm giving her exactly what she wants. I'm a good friend.
The problem is not good enough for me. I want the physical relationship with my beautiful W. Imagine that!
Originally Posted By: AJM
Don't betray that trust! I feel that's really important right now. Critical.
Can you explain? I can't imagine myself doing anything that would betray her trust.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
Last night W met up with GF, to meet a friend of hers for the first time. This friend, I’ll call her “N”, is divorced, has a kid, and like W and GF is about 50 years old. W tells me N puts a LOT of money into her appearance, and it shows. She is, in W’s words, “All about the money”. She’s only looking for guys with big bucks. Sounds like another MLC basket case to me. Even W is not impressed, kinda laughs her off.
Anyways, we start talking about jobs/money. W and I both make about the same amount, our house is paid for, we have no outstanding debt, no kids. We both prefer living well below our means. Just another reason in my mind why we should stick together.
W tells me she's weary with the stress of her job, but is also afraid of losing it. "I feel like I need my job" she’s says. I told her we could get by without it, (which is true) and then asked her what she would do if she quit? Find another job she likes? She feels trapped, because finding something else that matches money wise would be tough.
In line with my new stance to initiate reality talks, and obey the ants in my pants, I told her that we each make enough... together or apart. Even if we split everything 50/50 we’d both be fine financially.
"This present indecision is the main reason I don't want to sign up for a 40k new car right now." I added. W nodded in agreement.
The security of me and my job/money seems a big factor why she never left our home. W likes to have a substantial buffer, money wise. I'm not at all afraid of going it alone.
Her last comment was “I guess what I’m saying is I thought I’d have my job/life figured out by now.”
You know, I kinda thought so too, honey! Let the reality train roll…
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
our house is paid for, we have no outstanding debt, no kids.
Would you like to adopt a 44 year old Rican?
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Can you explain? I can't imagine myself doing anything that would betray her trust.
I know you can't imagine it, but be extra careful to not even give the appearance that you will. It's not just your perspective I'm thinking of
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
(darn it all!)