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Hallo Lou,

Keine Ahnung, ob das okay ist. Als wir in Deutschland wohnten, haben wir viel gereist - die BRD hat ja viel zu bieten. Dieses Weekkend Ticket, z.B., mit der Bahn ist preiswert - kann ich empfehlen.

Der gruene Michelin Reisefuehrer Deutschland gibt eine gute Uebersicht, was alles zu sehen ist.

Also, if you are anywhere near the edges of Germany, it is easy to go to the neighboring countries. There is lots to see there -

You might also look for Vereine in your town - there may well be something that interests you -

Meetup.com is a website, specialized in arranging group get-togethers for people that are interested in something. I go to a drumming meetup, for instance, when in the US.

I am not sure if you want or do not want Deutsch - please let me know.

Luke


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loualea Offline OP
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Hi Luke
probably should not do Deutsch...leaves others out of the conversation...

How was the weekend.. I stayed busy and out of the house.. helps.. a bit..
thanks


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Hi Lou,

Agreed re Deutsch -

Glad to hear you are staying busy. Nothing like a dog to get you out regularly ... I don't know where you walk him/her, but it is supposed to be good to be in nature vs. an urban environment.

We had an unusually warm weekend here, so ate lunch out in the garden yesterday, where the girls had been busy (my secretly planted tulips are coming up - I hope they don't cover them up). I went for a long run and then took d16's band to a gig they had, this time at a very Swedish local history/tradition/interest club, featuring lots of sugary baked things.

Have you had a chance to look at meetup?

L.


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Hi
meetup is having some problems with spam and being blackmailed..
I will get back to them when they are functioning again. ?

beautiful here too..we walk in tbe fields...
warm here also. There will be talk of drought next...

find Spring hard to take though.. last year we both were congratulating ourselves on what we had achieved... and rightly so it looked vreat our garden. Then I discover he hates it and it was just me pushing all the time...
but he made the lists...
makes me sad and confused and lonely.. I miss my friend.


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Another weekend, another stress

so my H is coming to stay again this weekend. I have not spoken with him for 2 weeks. It was making me tired to text and wait for a reply.It is easier to not bother.
He has been away for business as well. I suspect but am surprised how little I really care that he has included a holiday with the OW on this trip. What does annoy me is that he told me that was not possible.

He continues to give mixed messages.. divorce definitely divorce may be later, share a house, find your own apartment, He is easier since I have stopped disagreeing. He wanted to be separated , we were and are. I stopped him when he started talking about me insisting on trying with the marriage ( that was 3 months ago) I said I value myself much more that .. to want to be with someone who is not interested in me. I think he was surprised but I meant it.

We have a lot to do together selling, packing, cleaning up.. but I am unsure why he comes here...I feel sad for him, he said he does not make his jokes anymore they were always corny but very much him.
This week I will be asking him to leave earlier.. I have a run planned..
Not sure if this is detached..I am still sad. If he wanted to begin discussions I would.
He will help me find my new apartment but I suspect he will like me to just go away so he is not reminded of how far he has fallen from his standards
He did say if we were separated then he is not having an affair. I reminded him we were married when he began to be with some one else... it will be always be an affair. The rewriting history is just annoying.
So I am flat and lethargic..detached or depressed guess the result is the
same...


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Hi Lou,

It sounds like he needs validating and space...

Do you feel like GAL is working for you?

Luke


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I see that the meetup website is running again. Stuttgart, for example, had a few dozen groups listed, so I imagine you should be able to find something. One idea might be to go out while your H is around this weekend, not saying what you are doing or going.

Luke


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Hi Luke
thanks for checking back.. I see him once per month..I like seeing him, I like being with him...going out.. guess it would be a big 180..
I will think about it.. GAL goes
I guess I am spending a lot of time running and exercising so I can run further...which is a major 180 for me.. and just made him angry...said I did not run with him but he didn't run?.?....ever.
I will check out meet up..
I keep thinking about it- he made up his mind and there is no discussion, no thinking about it.. very illogical for an engineer...H e also sticks to his decisions once they are made...
I don't understand...he would not dismiss an employee like this but a wife.. no problem..
when do you go shopping.? Wish my daughter was 16 again..even though we argued a lot at thT time those days out were fun and I worked hard to make sure I did not spoil it by being critical of her choices..


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Hola Lou,

Running is good, a way to keep at least somewhat sane when you have stress... just being outside and in nature is good...

You could always run and then be with your H afterwards - your happiness is at least as important (especially to you!) as his... being an engineer (I am one) is no guarantee of logic...

Shopping with d16 is not clear now - she and I went for a walk yesterday, on one of those clear, clean, Swedish spring days here, and I asked when we should go. She said it wasn't necessary, as she has enough clothes already, it would spoil her... I said that I could use some clothes too (shirts please!) but she thought I have enough already... not sure how to repackage this and make it happen. I think I have one more chance to sell the idea.

Luke


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Hola Luke
Any advice on Sandi's rules

I agree I am better after I run.. more in control. So I worked out today he has just had a holiday away with the OW. Seems to be tacked onto a business trip. Something he would never do for me ever..yep I am hurt and annoyed..and he lied about it. Why still lie to me when he has almost dismissed me from his life.. I don't get it.
So how do I handle this weekend.. no R talk, no future talk, I will not ask questions about his holiday, no discussing the marriage What do we talk about?

I miss the closeness.but no following around, no looking for any affection..

I guess asking his feelings is R talk..he has a lot of trouble discussing his feelings...even in good times.

I am clueless really..

What a shame about the shopping.. My daughter would not have ever said no..I think even now she would jump at the chance to spend my money.. and spend time with me.. of course.
Hope she changes her mind..


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