I will survive

[LoisB]

Linda,

I'm so glad you Free, almost, from Mr. WackaDoo. I think you have some wonderful stuff ahead of you.

NO more borscht, spackling stories, vicarious trips to Russia or video chats!!

Do you want us to come help him move out?? I will bring some boxes.

Whatta dope. Has no idea what he lost. God help him when it does. Would hate to be the guy who let Linda get away. :-)

Much Love,

Heather

[nero]

hey man-

I hope you're doing okay - & hanging in there. it's so hard, soooo long a time to have a person around shring your life - it's hard to be around them, it's hard to not have them around.

You're such a strong person- i hope it just gets better and easier - fingers crossed. didja ever imagine in your wildest dreams life would go this way, and you'd manage to deal with it and come thru it? not me- well, i wouldn't say i've "come thru" it - and i can see i'll be a bit messed up in the trust department- residual damage i guess from "life" - we all have it i guess for a variety of reasons.

BUT- i can see you're so ready to be able to have an r when it appears - i'm hopin i will be too - it's good sign - now all we have to do is slog thru a while more.

your h is kinda still in some sort of fog - going about his life with you at home- just like always- he doesn't seem to really really GRASP the whole thing of YOU not being in his life. imho

i wonder if it will be okay or he'll be a basket case when he really really REALLY realizes what the heck he's done? ya gotta wonder ?

i wonder same thing about my sitch- nothin to do but just keep plodding along til "the end". ???

will be laugh about this in five years??? one wonders.

hope your day is okay

xxo

[RosaLinda]

Just checking in - I was surprised to see my thread survived the purge Thank you all for checking on me, you're the best bunch of friends a gal ever had.

My ex moved to his mom's house in July, and then actually did emigrate to Moscow; he left on August 29th. I am having a hard time getting my head around the fact that he is living in another country and sometimes I get a sick, sinking feeling in my stomach when a car pulls up in front of house, until I remember that it cannot be him.

I've had a couple of emails from him. I ignored most of them until he asked me to make a skype account so we can talk via skype! Then I finally told him I do not want to skype, and that it would not be fair to the Russian. He wrote back that he is sorry he hurt me. First time he ever apologized for ANYTHING in 39 years!!

I was going to say that I haven't heard much from him since then, but just this minute got a text message letting me know he is in atrial fibrillation. Not sure what he expects me to do about it from way over here. Sigh....

My life is full and happy. My 29 year old son is still living at home, which helps. He was sort of devastated by his dad moving, both of my sons are, so I got him a dog for his birthday. He's in love with it so that's nice! I've been busy at my church, and am still working with the food pantry. I have a bunch of new friends from the divorce care class I took last spring, and we are starting country line dancing lessons at adult ed tonight. URWorthy and I have become the Traveling DB Sisters (Thelma and Louise??) and have gone to visit a couple of other DBers this summer. That is so much fun, truly awesome! And, most amazingly, I have been seeing the most wonderful man, my age, the kindest, most handsome, absolutely astonishingly delightful man. It has been very difficult to break out of the habit of STFU, and I find I still have a LOT of triggers left over from my marriage, but my friend is patient and understanding and loving.

Life is good, I am truly blessed! Job was right, there IS life after divorce I hope you are all healing too!

[cat04]

Country line dancing? Im jealous.

[job]

RL,
I was just thinking about you. In fact, I was going to ask uRworthy about you.

I'm sorry things didn't improve w/your h, but he has to live out his fantasy and I don't blame you...I wouldn't want to Skype w/him either. As for him letting you know about his atrial fib, well, he's got to have some attention from you because you've left him at the station and moved on w/your life.

I'm glad your son is enjoying his dog. What kind did you get? The dog will be a wonderful companion and company for the both you. Hey, I'm so happy to hear that you've met someone that is treating you well.

I don't advocate divorce, but I do believe that this is life after divorce. We may not realize it at the time we are in the eye of the storm, but once the dust settles, you just never know what life has in store for you. We have to learn to keep our hearts and minds open to new and exciting things that come our way. After all, we are all on a journey too.

I'm very happy you returned today and you are doing well. One last question...how are your eyes doing? Did you get a good report about them?

[ericmsant2]

1) Hope those DB visits were fun

2) I wish you nothing but the best in your n R. He must be a very special man

3) You could always tell your ex that he can Skype with some of the female convicts in Russia.

Hugs to you.

[uRworthy]

My sweet friend, I just wanted you to know how truly happy I am for you. You are so deserving of a wonderful new life. I am so blessed to have you in mine.

Cant wait for our next adventure. I know no matter where we go, it will be filled with a whole lot of laughther.

Love you, sweetie.

[job]

edit time

I don't advocate divorce, but I do believe that there is life after divorce. We may not realize it at the time we are in the eye of the storm, but once the dust settles, you just never know what life has in store for you. We have to learn to keep our hearts and minds open to new and exciting things that come our way. After all, we are all on a journey too.

[RosaLinda]

Aw, thanks guys.

Job, thanks for your response. Your post got me thinking. I do not advocate divorce either, it really sux. But I think I'm a lot better off emotionally (now LOL, it took me a long time right?) than some of our friends, because I stood until I was done, and then I was the one who filed for divorce. As opposed to having divorce crammed down my throat like so many others do. My ex would have been happy to live with me forever I think, as long as I supported him financially and allowed him to have affair after affair. I think that once I decided I had had enough of that garbage, it was easier to move forward with less heartache than many others feel.

Oh and the dog is a pug-beagle mix. An older dog from the pound, which I have learned is now referred to as the rescue, not pound. He is sweet as can be, and good company for both of us. I like him a lot better now that S29 gave him a bath though LOL. Thanks for asking about my eyes too. I still have limited peripheral vision and blurry vision in the left eye, but can see great out of the right, and I am really grateful for that. I will be re-assessed in January to see if I need more surgery, but surgery and lasers haven't helped so far, so I can't see going thru that again. And how is YOUR knee, all healed or still bothering your?

Thanks Eric, the DB visits were awesome, especially getting to meet some of you guys who I revere as vets, as well as some of the vets' fiancees and SOs! It is so nice to put a face to the poster! And thanks for your good wishes for my new R. It is strangely wonderful and astonishing to be with someone who cares about me and who is interested in what I have to say. I can babble about nothing all day and night, but my opinion on anything of substance has not been welcome in my house for many many years.

URWorthy and I have hopes for a west coast road trip, right UR, won't that be fun!? You are such a sweet friend; I swear that you saved my sanity and possibly my life. You are a blessing; I am truly blessed!

[Underdog]

Ohhhhh, and I get to meet you in a few weeks too! Can't wait!

I'll send you a FB message with my contact info. I definitely have dinner free on the 29th and hopefully I'll see you during the weekend too. You're more than welcome to join me, my college roomie and Gineen at the volleyball tournament.

Re divorce, sometimes a person has to do something to protect themselves, whether that be physically, financially, emotionally or all of the above. What your XH did is not right. I, for one, would never judge you for feeling like you had to do what you did. He's nuts in a way, and your sons probably know that too.

Anyway, glad you updated. Hugs to you and see you later this month!

Betsey