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Verum #2384811 09/12/13 02:12 PM
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Thanks, I like that idea FastCars, it makes things easier for me too, and the kids get to bond with their dad. I will often send one of the kids with him when he goes to to Home Depot.. H practically lives there! haha. Sorry for hijacking your thread, lol. Have a great day.


M: 8 yrs T:14
Twins:7 S:5
BD:'NLILWY': Feb/2013
Mar/Apr/May: MC
June: "living in limbo"
Sept 12: H moves out
Oct 20: reconciling
Jan-Feb 2014:MC
Feb 2014: separating, and H moved out.

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Looking for cash in my W's wallet to give to my daughters so they can go to the movies, I see my W's form for going to the doctor. This is a doctor that she was (still is?) infatuated with. She injured her knee and he is a specialist in joints/bones.

On the form where you put marital status, my W created a box "hmmm ...." and checked that box.

My W was there, and I'm like "nice." She says it's a joke.

Why does my W think I'm dumb or gullible? I can laugh at myself and us as well, but I don't see how this is a joke?

to me, it is her advertising to people that she's not happy and she may be available.

She did call me later to apologize, and she even said that she would reprint the form and redo it. My guess is that she will not. Just another lie to make me feel good. She's getting good at that.


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Verum #2385272 09/13/13 08:41 PM
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FC, that bites. Sorry to read this and feel your pain finding this. Not sure what is worse, finding it or having your W blow it off and lie about it.

What did you say when you asked her about it and what did you say when she apologized?

Also, when you allowed her to moving back home after kicking her out for the one night stand, did you have any boundaries that you established?

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
S12, D9

3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure"
5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
CharlieBrown #2385781 09/16/13 02:36 PM
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CB, living together was conditioned on the idea that you're married so you don't spend time looking for other men. This entailed breaking off inappropriate relationships which she did.

This is just stupidness, and maybe I'm reading too much into it. Really it disrespects the marriage and me -- that is my biggest problem with shenanigans like this.

She did apologize and was upset that I was upset about this. Anyway, we already moved on.


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Verum #2385790 09/16/13 03:14 PM
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FastCars, I understand why you were upset by what she did, and for sure I would have been upset as well. Kind of toying with the idea of being single, and very disrespectful. Besides all of that, how are things between the two of you? Did you end up going to crossfit with her? How was that?


M: 8 yrs T:14
Twins:7 S:5
BD:'NLILWY': Feb/2013
Mar/Apr/May: MC
June: "living in limbo"
Sept 12: H moves out
Oct 20: reconciling
Jan-Feb 2014:MC
Feb 2014: separating, and H moved out.

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 539
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Hi CP,

Things between us are actually quite well. We did go to crossfit together. I enjoyed the workout -- it's short but can be challenging. We actually spend quite a bit of time together each week, just the two of us and with the kids as well. We also do our own things too.

My W was asked to come for an interview to the University she applied to. I thought she would be -- she's smart, talented and has a good resume. We'll see if she's accepted and then where we go from there.


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Verum #2390914 10/04/13 05:31 PM
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FC,

Just checking to see how you are doing. Any news on your W's school decision? Hope you are well.

CB


Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
S12, D9

3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure"
5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
CharlieBrown #2391168 10/05/13 04:22 PM
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Hi Sailing, just checking on everyone! So...your W was accepted at the university?! Is this course to become a physician's assistant that is 5 hours away that you spoke of? Yikes.

How are your girls doing? Do they know their mom is considering moving 5 hours away?

I can also see why you would be hurt about your W writing "hmmmm" for her marital status on Dr. Cute's form. But don't forget, she IS in a MLC, and lying and flirting and all the other hurtful crap they do is just designed to make them feel better about themselves. I haven't checked your thread in a long time, and it sounds like you're doing well overall; it hasn't even been a year yet since BD. Hang in there!


Linda

Me 65, Ex 64
M 38 y
2 adult S, 4 G-Kids
MLC 11/07
BD 12/09
D 3/14
Dating nice guy 7/14
Engaged to nice guy 12/17
RosaLinda #2423193 01/14/14 09:28 PM
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I have dropped the forum for about the past 4 months. I thought i would come back, read up on others and let everybody know how things go.

BTW, dropping the forum for awhile was good for my mental health.

More or less, things have been well between us. My W and I spend a lot of time together. She was turned down for admissions, and for now seems accepting that she will not be going back to school. Although she is not happy with her job.

My W has made some nice choices to be with me versus do something else and she seems less depressed. For example, this past Friday she said she wanted to eat early so that she could go to the gym. I told her I didn't want to eat early, so she decided to skip the gym and she ate with us at a resturant.

With that said, my W is still working through MLC issues. She still goes out frequently (averages 3 times a week) and a few times she's been out late to 10pm during the week.

Some changes are a permanent change of her personality now. Permanent changes are her extreme need to have many, many friends and have a very socially active life. Physical activity is now a big part of her life. She has dropped many things that she used to enjoy. This week, I asked her if she read a book, and she admitted that she hasn't read in a long time because, "Whenever I pick up a book, I feel like I should be doing something else..."

So in summary, our interactions are good, DB-ing has become a part of me, and we are living as a close married couple. She seems content with the way things are between us. I still feel we need to make progress. I have not heard the words, "I love you" from her, nor have we had any relationship talks. I'm not sure when, if ever to initiate them.

I thought I would post this because I notice on the forum mostly failures and sad stories. I believe the people who are successful in rebuilding their life and relationships, they are the ones who leave the forum.

I don't count myself as a success yet, but I am much better off than 6 months ago, and content with how things are for now.


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Verum #2423194 01/14/14 09:35 PM
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I'm glad that things are better, but I would re-evaluate your statement...

"So in summary, our interactions are good, DB-ing has become a part of me, and we are living as a close married couple."
"I have not heard the words, "I love you" from her, nor have we had any relationship talks. I'm not sure when, if ever to initiate them. "

This doesn't sound like a close married couple.

It sounds like things are getting swept under the rug and (just a warning) they have a tendency to come back with a vengeance unless the issues are addressed.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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