Well I am not sure right now if I do want to save my M.When she is away I am feeling better and it is easier to make changes in myself.Maybe the D is the right thing.But when I see her I just can't help but wish we could be the way we were before.I know I still love her.I guess I just have to carry on and keep changing myself for me and the kids.Whatever happens,happens.
Heres my update. My wife did go to MC (by herself) and opened to the C a little. She does not show any signs of wanting to work on our M and told the C that she is not likely to come back to MC. I feel now that it is better that she not go until if/when she wants to work on M. No surprise there. She is so done with me right now.
She also seems to be withdrawing more too. Not sure what to do about that. The 180's I have done seem to annoy her more than anything. I feel they annoy her because I am not giving her any reasons that she could use as an excuse to leave, not that she needs one. She doesnt seem to like that I am in a good mood when I am around her either. Especially when she is not in a good mood around me.
She still avoids conversations and interactions with me. I just give her the space she wants. I feel she is not getting the space she desires due to us living together (we are basically roommates with kids). Our interactions with the children force us to interact and I feel that is wearing on her too. I am out of town for work on average 4 days a week but, because I call the kids every morning and evening to say hello, maybe thats not enough space? I dont know if it is or not.
I have MC on Wednesday and I have no reason to believe that she will attend with me. I only tell her I have an appointment so if she chooses to go, she can. At this point, I am going to MC for myself and I have to say that I am adjusting to our situation better everyday. I still have a bad day once in awhile. For the most part, I am feeling emotionally better than I have in a very long time. Still detaching more and more. I dont no how to gauge the detaching but I would say that I am 85% or more detached, lovingly of course.
I am GAL and socializing much more these days. Mostly at work. Moving forward with improving myself and my relationship with my kids.
Other than that, still in limbo. Just waiting on her to make a move one way or another.
You are all in my prayers and I wish you success with your situations.
Vets, please critique my update and let me know where I have made any backslides please.
That does sound a lot like my story.Sounds like your doing better at 180's than me.If you read my earlier post she caught me bad mouthing her to my two teenage sons.She really let me have it.Said she now hates me for trying to turn kids against her.I apologized to her and that only made her more angry.The only thing that made her stop her angry texting was when I said I was ashamed for what I did and I truly am.She thinks I say things just to be mean.I don't, it is just stuff that comes out when I get upset.Bad thing is you can't take some things back.I have pretty much made up my mind that the D is going to happen.I just want to get thru it without so much blaming and saying mean things to each other.She has moved in with a friend but keeps telling me to move.I would like to move.But of course attorney says to stay at home with kids.To me right now the boys are the most important thing.Both teenagers in high school.We all know it is very hard to be a kid now days.Anyway good luck to you BKS.If only we could all learn these lessons before it is to late.
I just want to update my story.I found out she was secretly seeing someone for several months.I think it started around the same time she filed.She denies it.I saw pictures and everything.Talk about ripping your heart in two.I had a rough few days.But I think now I know I have to just let go.Some people make up there mind.Like the title I started this post with Nothing Will Change Her Mind.I now know why.
