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Joined: May 2012
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:-) thanks j3b. that means a lot.


TPS
Me: 44 H: 42
M14 T17
S10 D7
10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month
21/04/12 H is 'DONE'
04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010)
July '14 H ends affair
May '15 H moves back home
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Great advice. I can't seem to get enough right now. Probably I just figured all of this out.

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hi j3b, i have been reading through your threads. I just have to say wow...and i am even more grateful and humbled that i have received the gift of being able to talk with you directly. you are truly inspirational.

i am not sure where i am right now. its been the doldrums as you mentioned before...i just expect another bomb when H gets back which is supposedly Monday.

i want to nurture a friendship... because i see that as a positive and a very real possibility yet fear holds me back...trust issues hold me back..timing holds me back.

have been reading so much on MLC...and sometimes i think i understand more and feel more compassion than other times i think nah he is a WAS and is not confused...just is simply done with me. i KNOW it doesn't matter in the approach. Just leaves me confused. I am referring to one of your posts about when you felt done with B.

Maybe i am looking for control in a situation I have no control over.

Its late for me and I don't want to ramble. I hope you have a great weekend.

Busting


TPS
Me: 44 H: 42
M14 T17
S10 D7
10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month
21/04/12 H is 'DONE'
04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010)
July '14 H ends affair
May '15 H moves back home
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 2,595
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Member
Offline
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 2,595
Hi j3b...how are you?

i hope all is well. :-)


Its been the doldrums as you mentioned...its trusting the process as Cadet stated...its trying to outlast.

I know you are reading. But i guess i just wanted to touch base.

And...

Am I still doing ok? He doesn't stay, doesn't make any effort to know me or know my life. He is nice enough when he is around. And thats all.

Actually thats not right. Its a positive from what it was before. But i guess its still not about me and him. I am being too anxious. I know this is still about time.

The lack of questions, the lack of interest, it throws me. because even friends (and I guess we we are not yet there) ask how was your day? what did you do?

I CAN ask him these things, but because he doesn't seem to care, and doesn't ask me, I feel like its pursuing if I ask him. So i hold back from even asking these simple things. That doesn't seem right.

When he is around, I am not sure how warm to be. He is not around a lot. So when he is around...make a nice dinner?

I dont hang around a lot when he is at the house. I am in a different room usually. He is here for the kids so i am present but not in his face. today he came over before the kids were home, but i kept myself in another room after opening the door.

I actually feel like its what he would have wanted when he first asked for 'space' two years ago, when he was still living at home and not with OW. Ironic.

j3b, i feel like we are so detached it almost could be a good place to start over again. Yet I realize its not the time. he is still on his journey.

So continue as is, right?


(((( ))))


TPS
Me: 44 H: 42
M14 T17
S10 D7
10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month
21/04/12 H is 'DONE'
04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010)
July '14 H ends affair
May '15 H moves back home
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Please begin a new thread if you would like to continue the discussion.


Michele Weiner-Davis
The Divorce Busting Center

Transform your marriage with a private 2-day intensive with Michele Weiner-Davis. http://www.themarriageintensive.com
Email michele@divorcebusting.com
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