Goals Workshop

[rysmom]

Hi Laurie,
Things are not going well for Ron and I. He is always over at his mother's house, because his father died last week, which I understand.But he refuses to call me to tell me where he is. This makes me feel like he has no respect for my feelings. I am afraid to open my heart to him because of the same old issues and I feel like we are stuck in a sad, loveless marriage.
I am taking anat/physiology class and I am also taking tennis lessons but this doesn't seem to change our relationship. But it is good for me.
Hope you are doing well!
Dawn

[Laurie]

Dear JoJo,
I have friends in my life that have also shared their frustration and disappoinment with "leeches", so I think there are many women out there that find themselves being preyed upon and would empathize with you.

Regarding friends, I would wish for you at least one or two that you could go to and would walk alongside you. You are a good, good person and a huge giver!! You have wonderful friend qualities, but sometimes your great qualities have attracted certain people who love to receive what you can give, but not offer to give back. It is wise to avoid relationships that drain and to invest in close relationships that reciprocate your kindness and loyalty.

Have you thought of or already attempted to explore new areas to meet friends (take a class, hobby class, exercise classes, faith options, etc.)?

JoJo, what I have heard that has been helpful for some people is to give of themselves when they feel down. Possibly volunteer through their church or an agency to help some group of people that could really use your encouragement, your upbeat approach, and your kindness. There are sacred moments in the midst of that and in giving we can find ourselves receiving so much more back.

Hugs and kindness to you, JoJo. Laurie

[jojo1]

Hi Laurie:

I'm ok. I'm still trying to do what it takes to make me happy.

I've been loving my job, but by next Fall, I hope to go back to school to get my Masters. This January, I am going to take a class toward that.

I have some friends, but they are married or engaged 'or' they are very young. I'd love to meet someone like the women in 'Sex in the City'--four women who are support each other and respect each other's differences...laugh and cry together.


I have a lot of guy friends. I don't know why I feel comfortable with that, but it keeps me distant . All people scare me right now. I've been getting closer to my brother and sister-in-law. Speaking of that, I've been thinking of taking care of my nephews more often.

I want to take some musical instrument lessons. My bills will be fall paid off Oct. 31, so I will be able to do more of what I want...a litle more. That is a weight off my shoulder.

Anyway, I miss you. Big hug,

[Laurie]

Dear JoJo,
With all of the hurt you have gone through, I understand that you may feel you need to protect yourself. I also believe that you have such a kind spirit and people see that and are drawn to you. So, when the time is right, you will open up again. But, only when it is right for you.

Continue to take care of yourself the best way you believe is needed.

Hugs, Laurie

[jojo1]

Dear Laurie:

Thanks for your wonderful words. Your words are as good as if you were here to give me a warm, friendly, big hug.

My mind has been at ease. Releasing A is somehow freeing. I feel more relaxed. I did text him last month...a gentle 'hi'...no response. I was sad for a little bit, but my mind could switch gears without my trying.

Yesterday, at my parents' house, I was looking for something for another friend and came across a box of A's family pictures and photos of his travels. I text him asking him if he wanted his photos. First, he said 'no thank you'. Then, when I explained, he told me he'd pick them up some other time. At least, a positive response. I am happy with that.

I am not perfect, and i have a lot to learn, but I want to learn and I feel very grateful to God. My 'hopes' have changed. At first, I didn't know what else to hope for, but now I am just trusting and hoping at the same time.

I am learning, still, about making my own friends. I go off coarse every once in awhile, but I find my way back. It feels good not to hold on so tight anymore.

But, I have to say that I miss talking to you and I miss your kind words and encouragment. You have been one of my best friends (along side my Mom) these past few years. You have touched my heart and my world. I looked forward to our conversations. You lifted my spirits. You have affected my life in such a wonderful way. I miss you very much and I love you. You are the best!!! Biggest Hug!!!! (((((Laurie)))))

[Laurie]

Dear JoJo!!

Thank you for writing and letting me know how you are!

I am thinking about you today, as Thanksgiving approaches, and truly wish for you such blessing for your life. God has created many wonderful and beautiful people in this life, but you truly are one of the most caring and wonderful people I have come across in my life.

Please stay connected, if simply to give out hugs!

(((((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))))

Take care, Laurie

[jojo1]

Hi Laurie, I am trying to remember some divorce busting philosophies. While still too vulnerable, I allowed someone into my life and I guess he just took advantage of my need to feel loved. As soon as I totally opened up to him, he distanced from me. And funny thing...he wants to go back with his ex-wife. I should be happy...I believe in reconciliation. But my heart is bitter, and I feel angry. Yes, if you haven't guessed, it is V...my roommate. Instead of acting angry, I have been very accommodating to him. I hate myself that I could believe that he could care for me. I hate that I believed that even when we talked about just being friends, he has only wanted one thing...yet he still wants his ex. My self-worth is is once again at an all time low.

[Laurie]

Dear JJ,
I would hope for you that someone would come into your life and would cherish you as you deserve. And, I know (and I think you do, too) that your healing time plays a major role for that to happen. You've been really hurt and like you said - you are too vulnerable.

So, dear friend, may I encourage you to take a break from dating? Your ability to pick healthy people to date, is highly connected to the time you've given yourself to heal.

So, keep DBg, OK? You can revisit Michele's goal-setting steps to regain your focus and help you realize you are getting stronger.

I want 2010 to offer renewal for you. That is my prayer, JJ!

Blessings and hugs,

[Laurie]

Dear JoJo,
I really want to know how you are doing. I hope you see this somehow and share with me a bit. I am also hoping that you have kept those friends in your life that have offered such caring support for you.

Continued blessings and hugs,
Laurie

[jojo1]

Hi Laurie: I have been on an emotional roller coaster ride. I have been trying to build up my boundaries...I'm a soft'y'.

A re-married to the woman I suspected May 21. So, I am in the midst of no health insurance. A lot of negative things have happened in the course of one week, including my Dad being in a major car accident. He is doing well, Thank God. Noone was seriously hurt.

There are certain things I know I should do to protect myself from emotional hurt, but I can't seem to do them. I'm frightened that noone will ever love me as I love them.

I miss you. Always, big hug!