I don't usually do this. I'm a proponent for marriage and for keeping one's vows. But honestly, after going through similar myself, I'm inclined to agree with you.
Why? Because you have to make decisions that are good for you. In a marriage you make those decisions with the other in mind. In this case, it might be good for him as well long term.
While I don't advocate divorce, I don't see how this is good for you either. At some point, you'll say enough is enough and be done for good. Sounds like that point is coming.
While nobody would blame you, I am just suggesting that you make sure it's what YOU want at this point. That you figure out when you can't live like this anymore.
If that point comes, and it sounds close, then have courage. If it comes to that, know that you had no other choices that you could live with.
I did the same thing. The difference was that I made sure to not help her with the divorce. I wouldn't have changed that for anything although I was ready to stop it all. I knew I had had enough and was willing to accept whatever came of my decisions. I knew I had tried everything and I do NOT regret any of my actions.
A clear conscience is a good thing.
Peace of mind is priceless.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
I haven't forgotten about this thread, but this past week has been extremely busy. I accepted an almost full time job that will begin sometime in October and had to do all the paperwork, etc. that went along with that, found out that my cat is pre-diabetic and requires twice daily insulin shots, and had my graduate courses begin.
I've decided, for the time being at least, to continue to stand for my marriage. I was very frustrated and thinking about the potential tax obligations of still being married at the end of the year.
I took time to actually sit through all of the options and decided that if standing for my marriage will potentially give us the chance to start over and begin again and possibly have years of happiness together ahead of us, owing a few thousand in taxes this year isn't such a big deal.
I'm stubborn and I don't like to give up. I know that he's hurting and I can't do anything about it, but I'm going to stop asking him how's he doing on the divorce papers. I'm going to be busy living my life and let him figure out what he wants to do. At some point I may decide to speed up his decision making process, but right now I'm going to take it day by day.
M36 XH34 M-5 T7 4/11 H confused 5/11 ILYB 6/11 OW discovered 7/11 I move out, OW over 5/12-OW2,done->new EA, but H wont file 9/12 H "best bf ever" to EA/OW3 3/13 H/OW break up H files 4/13 D 6/18/13
And that Sweet, is the best way to do it in my opinion. Day by day being you each and every step of the way.
Good luck and God speed,
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
