GOALSETTING and followup with Zig

[Denver_2010]

I like this thread! Great job Zig!

[zig]

Hi suppo - glad to see you join us. sorry it took so long to get back to you.

So i read through your goals list and that's a great start. First things first - lets work a bit on what you wrote at the end

I am really not sure on how to set short-term goals that are truly achievable Never have really been good at short-term goal setting,

One thing that has really helped me to change within myself in the last few months is finding out what I believe about myself. When we believe we are a certain way, then we tend to just go with being like that, without really questioning why or making any effort to change.

So, I'd like you to think a bit about why you believe what you wrote. Is their any real proof that you aren't good at that - did you try before and not succeed? did you never try because you assumed you wouldn't achieve the goals?

What if you saw yourself as someone who could set goals, who was good at choosing goals that were short-term and achievable? what would happen then? would it suddenly be do-able, would you hesitate?

So would you be willing to work with changing your perspective of yourself , where you start to believe that this is something you can do? You would have to sit down and think about why you see yourself that way. and we can talk about it her if you need help with it.

Let's get your goals a tad bit more specific, and that way you will start to see how they become short-term and achievable. Right now they are a little bit too general, which probably contributes to your feelings about them.

For now, let's decide that short-term means one or two weeks - you choose.

for goal 1.
this is rather general - so i'd like to see you break it down into a very simple statement such as "I will exercise 3 x per week. then under action you can say exactly what you will do week 1 and week 2 (how many miles each day etc)
after that, i'd like you to add a sentence where it says how it will make you feel such as "I will feel less stressed, more physically active , proud of myself etc.

goal 2: here you've stated what actions you will take for your goal. could you rewrite it so it states what you are trying to achieve at the end and put those as the actions you will do to achieve that state? (in this case detachment)

then under the "I feel" sentence, I want you to really think and imagine how you would feel when you are detached and write those down. they are really important, because the potential of having those feelings if you achieve that state will be what drives you to keep taking the action


goal 3. this is a bit of a contradictory sentence, suppo. if you are already happy with yourself then you wouldn't have the need to restore confidence. so let's inspect this a little deeper and see what you may have been trying to say. if your goal is to become more confident then let's state it like that, simply . then under actions you would need to write what you are going to do to become more confident (eg. try new things you've never done before, take the kids to do something new that you wouldn't normally do, buy some new clothes, go to therapy, stuff like that)

and then under the "I feel.." part you could say that these things would make you feel more happy or whatever you imagine they will make you feel

as MWD says, the more specific we are with our goals, the clearer we can pursue them and the more achievable they become. so it could be that they haven't felt that for you because they have been too general, maybe?

I hope this helps and also wanted to add that's it's wonderful that you're helping brit with her training goals.

look forward to seeing how you rewrite your goals, and let me know if you feel differently in your approach to them after you do that

cheers
zig

[zig]

hey there Brit - great job rewriting those goals - do they seem more specific and clearer to you also? I hope so.

I would like to see you add the "I will feel..." or "what will I be doing when..." sentences on to each of them, if you have the time to think about that and add that in - it will help you to stay on track a bit more, especially with the one about h

goal 1 and 3 look like long-term goals that you will be doing consistently. but 2 and 4 are definitely short-term ones. 4 has a deadline that will take care of itself.

i'd like to see you breakdown goal 2 - so that it is way more specific . how many #'s in the next 2 weeks (don't forget, losing more than 2 or 3 #'s a week is a better way to keep it off ). if you keep looking at the end number then it's too general..

hey, this is kind of fun , scrutinizing other people's sentences. i'm actually learning a lot!!

hope this is helping all of you and i'm not being too anal here

when is someone going to come do the same for me?

zig

[zig]

thanks Denver - coming to join us?

[suppo]

Suppo that would be great! I signed up for a 10 mile in October!

Happy to report weighed in this morning only 14 to lose! I'd put on 5 living in a hotel for the past few weeks and I've already lost 4 just cooking for myself.

I have done my goals these past few days and I added in a few other exercises it felt great!

Outstanding in signing up for the 10 mile run! Most people generally don't back out of an event when they have paid money to attend it! So this is a 1st great step!

Truly awesome that you have already dropped 4lbs! Hotel living can definitely wear on your body, both physically & mentally! Did that for 6 years while I was a bonafide business traveler (couldn't stand it & gained 30lbs to boot).

Give me a breakdown of running frequency/days etc. and I can help define better how you would be able to ramp that up, without being discouraged or fatigued. Also give me a brief overview of how your nutrition is & we could edit that slightly for the increase in training & calorie needs. This will help aid in decreasing fatigue & will greatly improve recovery time as well!

Suppo

[suppo]

Zig,

You are spot on about me needing to redefine goals! I will work on this & resubmit for your review, so that we can hone down to an achievable set of goals for me. In the past I have generally been able to achieve whatever I set my mind to. i just need to refocus & try to take my mind off of circumstances I am not in control of.

Suppo

[zig]

Yes, it's a constant struggle, even for me, suppo. the "getting your mind off stuff. when you're having a difficult time of it, just acknowledge that you're shaky and don't try to fight it, but KNOW that is will pass.

look forward to seeing what you come up with

hope you're having a lovely day
zig

[mac-ct]

Suppo, zig's spot on (as usual) and everyone I've had the time to read has been through exactly that - the odd "wobble". Oh yes, me included

There's always oportunities to take your mind off "things". One is on its way now. Called the weekend! Why not plan on doing something fun that you wouldn't normally have time for during a working week?

I'm having a Rocky Horror Picture Show night at my home (actually the bar:-) follows two great rugby matchs. Argentina vs SA. Then a local punch up with the Sharks. Should be a good time for all. I may even get to do my video DJ bit as a desert

Oh and your all invited!

Keep at it and don't fret. It'll get easier.

Mac

[mac-ct]

Oh zig. Haven't forgotten my deal with you.

Busy sharpening my pencil

Mac

[Denver_2010]

thanks Denver - coming to join us?

I think that I will let all of you newcomers do the goal setting here!

I posted about my sitch, my goals, etc., for many months... I had to back off of writing about and posting my every thought, word, or move. I learned SO much about myself doing it, and I think a lot of what you learn just becomes a part of you.

Right now, I just want to help others where I can by talking about my experience and what I learned, and am continuing to learn, by sharing what I used to share here, with my W.

I'm going to continue to check in here though! I'm pulling for everyone to be successful with their goals, improving themselves, and, hopefully, reconciling their M's!