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#2258251 06/28/12 05:01 PM
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~ kd ~ #2258256 06/28/12 05:19 PM
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Originally Posted By: Kaffe





Mach1 #2258342 06/28/12 08:41 PM
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is this working? why 2 empty posts?


me 46 H 38
M10yrs T 11
S10
BD ow 8/11
h filed 9/25/12


"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"

zig #2258344 06/28/12 08:47 PM
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why does w keep wanting to see you get your stuff together?

i ask because my h keeps trying to imply that i am helpless.

so are they trying to keep a certain image of us in their minds to keep convincing themselves that they are right not to give it a shot?

sheesh - what on earth did we do that was SOOOOO bad that it causes them to behave like this

oh wait - what on earth am i doing, asking a stupid dumbass question like that at this point!!

i see what you mean KD - you have NO IDEA what she may be thinking or feeling and what she maybe heading towards. she probably doesn't either - could it be they've been fighting and resisting for so long that now they just do it out of habit, without even thinking any longer. could it be they are so out of touch with what they are really feeling (because all this is about hiding emotionally) that they can't even begin to go there.

could it be i'm asking really useless questions

i guess it's a matter of just seeing where and how it goes. no use being an ass and assuming any thing any longer - well put!!

cheers!


me 46 H 38
M10yrs T 11
S10
BD ow 8/11
h filed 9/25/12


"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"

zig #2258346 06/28/12 08:49 PM
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hey - like the name of your new thread.
you meditating a lot?


me 46 H 38
M10yrs T 11
S10
BD ow 8/11
h filed 9/25/12


"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"

zig #2258384 06/28/12 10:23 PM
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Originally Posted By: zig
why does w keep wanting to see you get your stuff together?

i ask because my h keeps trying to imply that i am helpless.

so are they trying to keep a certain image of us in their minds to keep convincing themselves that they are right not to give it a shot?

sheesh - what on earth did we do that was SOOOOO bad that it causes them to behave like this

oh wait - what on earth am i doing, asking a stupid dumbass question like that at this point!!

i see what you mean KD - you have NO IDEA what she may be thinking or feeling and what she maybe heading towards. she probably doesn't either - could it be they've been fighting and resisting for so long that now they just do it out of habit, without even thinking any longer. could it be they are so out of touch with what they are really feeling (because all this is about hiding emotionally) that they can't even begin to go there.

could it be i'm asking really useless questions

i guess it's a matter of just seeing where and how it goes. no use being an ass and assuming any thing any longer - well put!!

cheers!


You didn't do anything wrong. Once they start cakeeating, it is a VERY hard thing to stop. Even if they know it hurts you badly.

zig #2258407 06/29/12 12:31 AM
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You really have been on a roll these days, zig. cool

Originally Posted By: zig
i see what you mean KD - you have NO IDEA what she may be thinking or feeling and what she maybe heading towards. she probably doesn't either.


And that... is OK...

thus... the thread title...

smile

That was part of the results that I've been getting since doing something different.

BTW: Thanks so much for nudging me forward, dbmod! smile

~ kd ~ #2258410 06/29/12 12:39 AM
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You really have been on a roll these days, zig.

yeah - i'm feeling a bit tougher these days - as in - don't feel like getting you know what over any longer by the universe!!

just did a doozie - going to post on my thread

i get the title now - total acceptance, but who said WE can't scream and shout - in some other direction, with utter joy and delight!!


me 46 H 38
M10yrs T 11
S10
BD ow 8/11
h filed 9/25/12


"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"

zig #2259590 07/03/12 06:06 PM
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Just giving some more thought to what my W might want from me and what might fill her heart...

I had made a wild guess that maybe she wanted more connection. While there had been some light comm between the two of us, I really don't think that's what she wants from me.

I still maintain that she really does not want anything from me. Certainly nothing that would fill her heart.

Right now, the only thing she has actually said she wanted from me was some financial support for the kids.

I will keep talking with her as time goes on. From the comm we've had, I do feel I am doing very well in the detachment area. Maybe something might come up, but I'm certainly not interested in reading anything into her words or actions.

Frankly, I'm OK with the way things are, now.

I'm not afraid to admit that I really am done standing, on purpose. Until I find someone new to build a R with... well... the future will bring what ever it brings...

~ kd ~ #2259778 07/04/12 02:34 PM
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I still maintain that she really does not want anything from me. Certainly nothing that would fill her heart.


is this another way of saying that you don't have anything to give right now and you are recognizing that for yourself?

i wonder if it's more a case of - when we don't have anything to give, then we can't really see what the other person may need or want....

just a thought... not just for you, but for me too

zig

ps. i agree with you - you are okay where you are - just trying to help you "refine" the difference between what you think/know you see/feel from your wife as opposed to where you are yourself and how much of where you're at may influence the way you see where she's at. (ducking, but big fat grin anyway)


me 46 H 38
M10yrs T 11
S10
BD ow 8/11
h filed 9/25/12


"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"

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