DB Bootcamp - veroprado and AJM

[sgctxok]

from veroprado

I'm trying to LRT. I did really good on my 180s where H is convinced I've changed but he's still confused about returning.

I need help detaching with love. HELP!!! I am a great learner!!
_________________________
M: 37 H 34
T 5yrs
S4yr
D11mos
DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA)
Separated: 3wks b4
H moved into an apt 5/12
Graduating to LRT mode...

[sgctxok]

I suggest AJM due to initial interaction or a vet experienced in one or more of the following


* LRT
* detaching
* drawing out a newbie

[2chiquitos]

awesome!! AJM! Where are you?

[2chiquitos]

Help! I think I may be closer to R than I thought...

[MrBond]

We need more details.

[sgctxok]

does that mean you're in, Mr Bond





veroprado-- you are lucky -- Bond is very experienced and wise

[AJM]

Aye, he is. How about both in this case?

As MB said, how about some details? Catch us up please...

AJ

[2chiquitos]

Ok so H continues with the "I'm confused" talk. However when I tried to push this situation into a definite separation, he choked.
Ex.
Me-I'm going to rent our house and move into an apt. I don't want to depend on you to maintain the house and I can't do it alone. Plus I could use the extra money
H-Noooo! this is a great house for the kids. wait a year. I really don't think this is a good idea.

Ex.
Me-Stop coming over as if we're a family (morning breakfast, evening bedtime routine). You can continue to see the kids daily.
H-(sobbing) please don't do this!

Ex.
Me-(very upbeat) I think I should start teaching this fall. Your mom could help with the kids and S4 will continue with school. (this would make me less dependent on H)
H-(this was his idea at one time) I think you should wait. being home you're able to do so much with the kids. (me, SOO F&* confused!)

So...our MC said I should suggest he stay over once without any expectations. I find myself completely stalled. Kinda like when the record scratches.

I'm afraid he'll say yes! HELP!
Today I worked on one of my goals (my anger/resentment) with Automatic Thought column. It helped a lot!
I feel that if he came back I would not keep to my 180s and go back to my old ways.

I'm afraid he'll say yes and that's all it will be. One night.

[2chiquitos]

I'm a lucky girl!! TWO VETS!!! This is definitely helping me with my 2nd goal, building self-esteem!

[MrBond]

I'm here for ya! I'll be reading back through your posts to see if we can figure out a plan.