My WAH filed for divorce on 6/13 and moved out 6/14. We have a 2 year old daughter. We are in contact most days because of her. He thinks this is the best thing for us and that we are too different. No affairs.
I need help setting goals and brainstorming solutions.
Are you still in contact with him every day? How is that going for you are you able to keep your calm?
Goals, seems like work and school, am I correct or are you looking to add more goals? Oh like still staying married right? Well...I sort of figured on that but lets work on the goals you can have immediate results with.
Brainstorming ideas...like invoveling your H right? We'll get to those.
How has your last interaction been, how have you been acting around him.
Brutal honesty here please. Anything less and...it becomes pointless. OK?
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
We are in contact every single day. Right now we are living together again to make childcare easier.
Goals: I would like to be able to control my emotions and responses to him when we start talking about some hot button issues.
Even before us getting back together I would like for him to put a hold on the divorce to work on the marriage. I would be willing to still let the divorce stay on the table but just getting him to attempt to work on the marriage would be a big step in the right direction.
GAL ideas would be a good one.
Working on managing stress.
Last interaction was good. It was today and he dropped off my daughter to me. We met at CVS because he had to pick up a kid for his second job. It was a change of plans because I was going to meet him at home before he left for work but things changed. We handled the change of plans well.
Me:29; W:37 T: 6 M: 4 D: 2; SD: 14; SS: 17 H filed D: 6/13/12; H moved out: 6/14/12 H moved back in: 6/28/12 Confirmed EA: 8/12
The past two days have been rough. I was out all day with my daughter and friend and wasn't feeling good. He was at work and was going out with friends afterwards which I knew. I started feeling bad while I was out and it just got worse. I texted him to see if he could get me some medicine on his way home and he said he would on his way home. I guess I expected he would leave sooner than later because of how bad I felt. He was really nice today and let me sleep while he took care of our daughter before he left for work. Unfortunately I was pretty needy before he left for work. When I am really sick, I get really needy and have a hard time imagining how I'm going to take care of our daughter. I need to work on that. I need to stop being needy, that will not help with our relationship.
Me:29; W:37 T: 6 M: 4 D: 2; SD: 14; SS: 17 H filed D: 6/13/12; H moved out: 6/14/12 H moved back in: 6/28/12 Confirmed EA: 8/12
Going with free idea's here...and I'm going with you don't have a whole lot of time to spare either.
Parks are free, walks are free, library is free and usually have some sort of kid programs. Picnics are free except for the food and turns out ducks love stale bread. Check out community events on craiglist in your city.
Yes...work on not being needy. It's not even close to...attractive.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Great ideas. I need to work on doing more with my daughter. I had been so down in the dumps lately and then it's been so hot. We may go to the pool tomorrow since I'm off of work tomorrow. I am exhausted when I get home from work and don't even want to stand so that's been hard. She loves the park; she could go every day. I should have thought of the library since it's been so hot but it's definitely something I will keep in mind.
I am definitely working on the being needy thing. Being sick caused me to backslide, for the most part I think I am definitely improving.
This morning was kind of hard. It was the first morning I had to go to work when he wouldn't be here with our daughter. He had to get to work by 5:15am and was gone well before I was up. I didn't think he had taken the dog out like he promised and I called and got an attitude. I was feeling horrible and was stressed about getting everything done and my daughter being with a babysitter. Luckily the babysitter came to us! We apologized after work and now he's sleeping and our daughter is sleeping on me!
Me:29; W:37 T: 6 M: 4 D: 2; SD: 14; SS: 17 H filed D: 6/13/12; H moved out: 6/14/12 H moved back in: 6/28/12 Confirmed EA: 8/12
I didn't think he had taken the dog out like he promised and I called and got an attitude.
IF I had told you I would take the dog out and you called me because you didn't think I did? You'd get attitude from me too ; ) Just like you would give it to him if the role was reversed. (I'm betting)
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
I didn't think he had taken the dog out like he promised and I called and got an attitude.
IF I had told you I would take the dog out and you called me because you didn't think I did? You'd get attitude from me too ; ) Just like you would give it to him if the role was reversed. (I'm betting)
Sorry I wrote that wrong. I got an attitude with him. He did get an attitude with me too and it was completely justified. I was irritated though because he took the dog out at 2:30am when he didn't leave till 4:15am. He told me he would take out the dog right before he left since I would be doing everything for our daughter in the morning. I wouldn't get home until 2:30pm and didn't want the dog to have to hold it for 12 hours. We weren't expecting the babysitter to deal with him.
Regardless, he didn't deserve my attitude. I should have never called him and just took the dog out like I did anyways. Would save us a lot of problems if I didn't react so much.
Me:29; W:37 T: 6 M: 4 D: 2; SD: 14; SS: 17 H filed D: 6/13/12; H moved out: 6/14/12 H moved back in: 6/28/12 Confirmed EA: 8/12
