yeah... you were using the classic DB taco technique...
Anything they can find to believe the LBS is pursuing... lol
Oh and snod is so right about the pod people... don't know if you read I had posted somewhere on someone's thread that a couple weeks ago I went to pick up D9. As I came into the house, W says "Hi" and I say (innocently) "Hey".... and I could immediately see her back go up. Like I was somehow annoyed and being curt with her... I truly said it in a pleasant voice and demeanour...
I called my pod person on my way home from an important quilt guild function that ran late. He actaually said he left his door open in case I wanted to join him. I am pretty sure it was a freudian slip. I think he ment in case the dogs wanted to join me, because he said something about the dogs being in his room. It was funny.
I didn't join him, and the dogs can sleep where ever they want....
I think I will try the classic DB Taco technique. Sounds Yummy!
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
I'm glad everyone got as good of a laugh out of my "evil taco plot" as I did. Between that and my "you're home early comment" he's seemed to spin back into hard core crazy. He's not home in front of the TV yet, so who knows what he's doing or who he's with, I'm sure it's all in an effort to make sure he remembers I am the arch nemesis, or a haha I can be out late too, since I was out every night last week till 8:30-9:00 (which is late for him). Perhaps he's out getting that tattoo.... or buying that new car. Wait, wait, can't be the car, the title is still in the filing cabinet, I just checked. LOL
Kaffe~ Who knew something as innocent as hello could be taken wrong. Oh the things we learn when submerged in MLC-ville.
Wendy~ That's definitely a Freudian slip if I ever heard one!
T~ You kid, but sometimes I wonder. Things are just so strange, the I want nothing to do with you, but I'm going to open the blind to see who you are with.... I'm going to leave, but 8 months later still here.... toothbrush in the holder, toothbrush out LMAO... you get the point! Guess he didn't like his reality reminder as you put it since he seems to be back to week one behavior.
Snodderly~ I pretty much don't say a blessed thing to him unless I have to, every now and then I will mix it up with a comment, but we see how that goes. I am pleasant no matter what, I vent my annoyance here (lucky you guys!). You are so right about him being paranoid, and I pretty much assume he does as much as possible to pick fights with me, I just don't respond in well usually anyway, but never in the way he wants. I really think they think we are stupid. Like I don't realize he does all the stuff I find annoying on purpose, geez give me some credit.
LOL fairy dust! That's right, went to Salem, became a witch, brought home super awesome fairy dust, waited 2 months and then at the perfect time I made irresistible tacos! You are on to me!
I have been deep in thought this evening, I feel like as much as I want to and am trying, detaching is very hard. I've been doing better, don't get me wrong, but I could be doing a lot better. I don't have anxiety anymore, which is great, but still all of this makes me sad, and the wondering where he is, and where all this money is going, and what the heck he says about me or us to people since none of his family has made any effort to contact me is hard to keep pushing out of my mind... Anymore detaching tips? I'm tired of being sad, I'm tired of being treated like crap, I'm tired of not being appreciated, and not being good enough. I know, his issues.... but how do I get past them in my head?
He could very well be out buying a new toothbrush that lights up.
Seriously, hrm, it takes time to learn the fine art of detachment. Each person moves at their own pace. Quite frankly, I think you are doing well, considering he's still under the same roof w/you. I would have been sorely tempted to spice up his tacos a bit for him. You know, light the fire and see him go to the moon and circle back down.
Maybe you need to sprinkle some fairy dust on that toothbrush that continues to move around the bathroom. Maybe the fairy dust will help to glue it down. BTW, I'm still laughing over that one.
Bottom line, give yourself some time...you've learned the first step, i.e., your sense of humor has returned and you are starting to see the humor in his crazymaking ways. You've learned to come here to vent and yes, you are going to have ups and downs. Time is on your side.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
My best detaching trick is to notice when I don't, mentally note that next time I need to do whatever the right thing is and when I've not done it 10 times, then 9 out of 10, then 8 out of 10.....
In other words cut yourself some slack and know habits are hard to break.
I also take one ot two breaths before I answer questions now. And actually say to myself inside my head: DETACH, DETACH, DETACH.
Or if I'm feeling silly I say inside my head: "Danger Will Robinson!" and picture the Lost In Space robot spinning around. (Warning myself that an alien attack is about to happen ;-)
I would buy that man a Dora the Explorer toothbrush, too. Because the toothbrush likes to travel.
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
snodderly~ Apparently he was at a bar/restaurant (one of fantasy work whores fav's) *rolling eyes*. So much for detaching last night, heck even this morning. I've been deep in prayer, I hate it when a crying spell sneaks up on you! I guess I still just have a hard time believing how utterly stupid people can be. Days like today I wish I had enough money to pay all of the bills on my own because I would so be like, please just leave until you aren't crazy anymore and realized you are a giant jackass. And if that day doesn't come, have a nice life, hope you find the happiness you are searching for. Then I feel bad for thinking things like that because I remind myself he's depressed and depression makes you think strange things, I know, I was depressed, but then again I got help. Snodderly it means a lot that you think I'm doing well, I think you are very wise. I should have made the tacos super spicy, he hates spicy.... hehehehehehe....... I think I'll take my bag of fairy dust and sprinkle it all over "his" room and his toothbrush!
Wendy~ Thank you so much for the tips! I especially love the Danger Will Robinson one!! The Dora toothbrush is an excellent idea, even funnier because he totally wouldn't get it!
I think I need to go back to hibernating when I am home (meaning shutting both doors to the bedroom), I think I was doing better at detaching that way. Especially now that he is fully back into week one behavior. I need to throw myself back into self focus.....
Had to share a couple of stories quick. First, I have to say my niece and nephew are the cutest, sweetest kids and I'm so thankful for them! They are 5 year old twins BTW. I went to visit them last night, took them a big box of old CPK dolls of mine! They are both so silly, my nephew was hung up on saying people were fat (despite his mom telling him that's not nice to say). He says to me, all big people are fat, even Jesus. I said, no, Jesus was skinny. He laughed at me saying skinny. I said, skinny,thin whatever you want to call it. Then he looks at me and says, You're skinny. I started laughing. I said No, I'm not. He said yes you are look and he put his wrist up to mine and put his fingers around my wrist and then his (I guess that was going to prove a point even though they didn't fit the same. HAHA) I just started laughing and told him he's my new favorite person! LOL I just thought that was too cute! He cracks me up! He also wanted me to spend the night. I told him I couldn't cause I have to go to work tomorrow. He groaned, I said yeah, I feel the same way about going to work some days. He thought that was funny.
Second story. This morning H came out of "his" room wearing a shirt I had bought him a long time ago, one of many tropical print ones, he was going through a phase. I looked at him and thought, gee, wonder if we remember who bought that shirt..... then the evil part of me came out... I had to mess with him... so I look at him, big smile on my face and say.... Nice, shirt, haven't seen that one in awhile! He just looks at me annoyed, as I continue to say, I remember buying that one! He continues to look annoyed and I just turn around and finish emptying the trash! HAHAHAHA I thought he may go change the shirt, but he didn't..... I just found this super funny for some reason this morning... guess we all have to find ways to amuse ourselves. Have a fabulous day everyone!!
Wendy that is hilarious! Come to think of it, I probably bought him most of the clothes he has too.....
Oh, and he is definitely back to week one behavior.... MAJOR spending increase again, bought another gun, actually bought a different brand of sneakers (strange for him), and LOL bought Axe deodorant... he's gonna be disappointed it's not going to be like the commercial where all the girls come running and can't control themselves! HA
Must have felt something that smelled too much like reality, teetering on the edge of depression, clinging desperately, can't fall off..... must be forever 17, must dodge responsibility, must prove I'm right, must prove it's all HER fault...
Song I've been repeatedly listening to lately..... Losing by Tenth Avenue North...... It helps me not smother him to death with his pillow.....
hrm, Your sense of humor is what is helping you get through this. Axe? OMG! All of the teenagers go for that, just thinking that it will bring the women in flocks! LOL! What brand of sneakers did he purchase. My xh bought two pair with the lights that flickered in the heal when he walked right after he left the first time. I about died laughing over that.
It's very sad that they can't see how they look to others.
Enjoy your weekend! BTW, where is the toothbrush these days?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I should have made the tacos super spicy, he hates spicy.... hehehehehehe....... I think I'll take my bag of fairy dust and sprinkle it all over "his" room and his toothbrush!