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hrm134 Offline OP
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Thanks Snodderly! I always enjoy reading your responses! He seemed more normal the brief time I spoke with him this morning. He actually called me on the phone, first time since BD day. I had a crazy morning. As I was getting ready to leave for work the power went out, I had to figure out the garage door.... once I got the car out I found some long camping forks and stuck them in the holes as an attempt to lock it. Meanwhile my dad called me because he locked himself out of the house and needed me to come let him in! lol I texted H to let him know about the power, the text read, "I don't mean to bother you but I wanted to let you know the power went out before I left. Stuck big camping forks in the garage door to keep it locked." He called me a few minutes after I sent to text to find out what was going on. I explained I think a transformer blew or something because I heard a loud pop and then the power went out. I asked what I need to do to reset the garage door when it comes back on, he told me he would take care of it when he gets home. (which surprised me since he hasn't even mowed the lawn or cleaned the bathroom since last year!) I thanked him and told him to have a good day. He told me to have a good day too. Also, my craziness of following the toothbrush.... it's actually been in the holder since the day he threw out the pictures.

Don't know if these are good signs, but I will take it. smile No expectations of course. smile He still asks to give me money for groceries, and he apparently forgot about the cable and electric bill when I told him Thursday I would be paying them when I got paid on Friday, he said ok, thank you, I forgot about them......

I'm still waiting for a new car to show up.... kinda surprised it hasn't yet....

Oh hippie wedding was AWESOME!!!!!! btw, just in case anyone was wondering. smile I'll write more later, gotta get to VBS.

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Okay, spill the beans on the hippie wedding...did you wear flowers in your hair and strum a guitar? I'm glad you had a good time...you needed a change of scenery.

Sounds like you day started off w/a real bang! I'm glad you were able to assist your father. He needs to put a spare key somewhere else on the property...maybe in a shed or w/a neighbor. Getting locked out happens to all of us sooner or later.

As for your h and the garage door opener...perfect! He is coming to your aid and rescuing the damsel in distress! Be sure to thank him if he resets the door for you.

The new car may not show up...you just never know. His memory isn't too good, is it?


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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OK.... warning, this could be a very long post! LOL (there, now you can't say you weren't warned). First thing.... OMG!!!! Hope you all are sitting down.... H mowed the grass!!!!!!!!!! I know, right? My counselor suggested letting it go to see how long it would take for him to do it, I told him I didn't know if I could do that, because it would drive me crazy letting it get long, and I was just about to be like screw it, I'm mowing. I didn't even notice he had done it until I got upstairs and looked out the window! I had already thanked him for fixing the garage door, which he told me was not a big deal. I went back downstairs and told him I had just noticed he mowed the grass and told him how much I appreciated it. So they seem like good things..... but expectations are still firmly planted at zero.

Now, the hippie wedding, which was awesome, but still a wedding and my first one without H there, so it was hard (but hey his loss!). I did not wear flowers in my hair or strum a guitar (but had I thought of the flowers I would have totally done it). There were several people there strumming guitars and singing though.... The bride wore a traditional wedding dress, her girls wore cotton sundresses and flip flops. The guys all wore cargo pants, flip flops and tie dye shirts, the groom had on a different tie dye shirt. The person marrying them wore cargo shorts and a white t-shirt. They did burgers and dogs on the grill, and it was pot luck so everyone brought something. My friend and I stayed for the camp out, which I'm glad we did, it was super awesome!!! Of course there was a lot of alcohol involved. lol Funny, I'm not a big drinker, but the last two months I've been drinking 3 times (don't worry I'm not becoming an alcoholic). They had a big bonfire too! Gotta love a campfire!!! It was just a great time, and I really did need it. It was very relaxing, I'm glad I went and stayed the night.

Ok.... so, today, which I wanted to post about earlier but ran out of time. We are having a week of training at work and today we had to do to some team building stuff, you know trust activities, etc. Well we got the opportunity to climb something called the Alpine Tower (it's 50 feet high). I was determined to get to the top despite my fear of heights.... I told myself all last week I was going to do it no matter how hard it was. So I got all harnessed up and started my climb, it was way more terrifying then I expected. I got about half way and my rope kept getting caught so I said screw this and gave up, despite my co-workers cheering me on. So I was watching everyone else at that point only 2 of my co-workers made it to the top. I decided I was going to try it again, but from the other side, where there was nothing for my rope to get caught on. Attempt 2, I started the climb, praying the entire way. I had to stop a few times to catch my breath and plot my next move. I was literally inches from the top and I could not pull myself up, my arms were like yeah right Heather, we are done, nice try, and I couldn't figure out where to grab to pull myself up. So I yelled down to my co-worker who was controlling my rope that I couldn't do it, I didn't have any strength left. She wouldn't let me give up. I took a break and prayed so hard for strength because I really, really, really, wanted to get to the top, it was something I just had to do. At this point my supervisor had made it to the top and she came over and helped show me how to place my hands. With one final effort of God given strength.... I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I climbed to the top of the Alpine tower!!! I was so freaking excited, proud, happy..... it was metaphorical.... I cried a little sitting at the top.... luckily my supervisor has a vague idea of what is going on in my life because I briefly told her a few weeks ago when I randomly burst into tears at my evaluation (at that time she told me she had no idea, and I do a good job of keeping my work and personal life separate. She's new, I've only had her as a supervisor for a couple of months, it took time to build trust). Anyway, sitting up there she told me what a good job I did, and see look how strong you are, you can do anything! I said yeah, I'm beginning to realize that, hence the tears (I'm an emotional girl, they were good tears!). I guess the point of this story is I grew a little today..... and faced a fear. I may not be able to move tomorrow, LOL, but it was TOTALLY worth it!!!!

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hrm,
Yes, you can do anything if you put your mind to it. Congratulations on the climb up the Alpine Tower. You can apply what you've learned about yourself during this test each and every day, i.e., strength, determination and yes, asking for help. I'm proud of you!

OMG! I was thrilled to hear that he mowed the grass. Your counselor was right on the money, but I'm sure it was driving you nuts to see the grass getting taller. LOL! I'm glad you thanked him for resetting the garage door and also mowing the lawn. He needs validation for the things that he does and by you recognizing him for it, he'll remember it when he's alone.

The hippie wedding sounded like a lot of fun. It was a change of scenery for you and I'm sure you and your friend had a great time! I'm glad you went.

Have a great day!


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Way to go!! You ROCK!!

smile smile

T^2


In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus

Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm

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Oh Heck, I cried to hear you made it to the top!

Keep up the good work.


Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32
D final 9/12
Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
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hrm134 Offline OP
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snodderly, T, and Wendy~ Thank you all!

Something that I just realized driving to work this morning thinking about climbing that tower and the other things going on in my life.... Monday, the day of the climb was the 11..... exactly 8 months since bomb drop.... strange huh?

Also, I don't know if this was good or not, but some habits are hard to break... H was acting oddly normal this morning and well I couldn't help myself I told him about climbing the tower (hey I'm super proud of myself and want everyone to know!). He congratulated me, looked rather impressed (not that that matters, just noting), and I told him there are pictures if he would like to see them after my co-worker e-mails them to me. He said yeah. Then I told him to have a good day, he told me to do the same and we both left for work.

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hrm,
There was absolutely nothing wrong w/sharing your climb w/your h. You have a lot to be proud of!


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Quote:
Also, I don't know if this was good or not, but some habits are hard to break... H was acting oddly normal this morning and well I couldn't help myself I told him about climbing the tower (hey I'm super proud of myself and want everyone to know!).


Well, WHY NOT???

I would think it shows you are growing and evolving if H knew about your fear of heights. It IS something "different" regarding you. Maybe it would help him "see" you differently, or not, who knows...lol.

But the hanging questions is......

Where is the toothbrush???

I love all the little, funny things we "monitor" with our mlc'ers.

W is acting more "normal" as well (well, whatever normal is, is).

laugh

T^2


In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus

Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm

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hrm134 Offline OP
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T~ toothbrush is still in the toothbrush holder, believe it or not! LOL and I noticed the soap dish thingy he takes to the gym is actually laying on the counter in the bathroom instead of being in "his" room...... his Tums, deodorant, meds, etc are still in "his" room though....

Yes, he knew about my fear of heights.

I guess there really isn't a normal.... just what we have come to know as such. smile

Snodderly~ Yea! I was hoping that didn't screw up the being mysterious! lol

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