Oh, and he is definitely back to week one behavior.... MAJOR spending increase again, bought another gun, actually bought a different brand of sneakers (strange for him), and LOL bought Axe deodorant... he's gonna be disappointed it's not going to be like the commercial where all the girls come running and can't control themselves! HA
OMG H is using AXE as well. I bought him some nice "adult" cologne for Christmas and I just noticed the other day he gave it to S. Nice. That's what an 11 year old needs is a $50 bottle of cologne all the while his dad stinks of Axe. What is wrong with this picture????
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Snodderly his toothbrush is still on the other side of the sink! LOL Although he came into the bathroom and brushed his teeth at the same time as me this morning.... but he had to be somewhere so he probably hated having to do that! The shoes he bought are Sketchers Sport, and they are charcoal grey, he ALWAYS gets New Balance and completely white.
wishing, hoping~ I laughed so hard at this! Guess you will have the best smelling 11 year old around! Look out little girls on the playground! LOL Just another WTF moment brought to you by your local MLCer!
As for crazytown recently, I haven't been home much this weekend, busy GALing. A co-worker/friend turned 21 last week and she really wanted to go out with the rest of us for drinks, something she's been talking about for a year since she is the baby of the group. We all went out Friday night, had a good time. Before I left home Friday evening H comes and knocks on "my" door to ask me if I paid the cable bill. I was like yeah... pretty sure I did that awhile ago, when it was due.... I told him I would check. Thought it was funny he remembered we have bills to pay. So I checked my bank account and told him the date and amount I paid. He said thanks and sorry for interrupting. I said oh, btw I won't be home tonight. He said ok, be safe and have fun. (that caught me off guard since I was expecting more 17 year old behavior, but apparently we had 2 days of that and lapsed ever so slightly back into normal).
I wasn't really home much yesterday either, spent a good portion of the day with the friend who I stayed overnight with. We had a really good talk. I again remembered how thankful I am for all of the great friends and family I have in my life. When I got home I spent some more time with another friend, having a movie night. H was kind enough to let us use the tv, while he watched x files downstairs. HA
I did see that he has been searching for a new job again.... hopefully that is a good sign.... but who knows. No analyzing for me, just gonna let God do His thing and continue to focus on me! (well and monitor the toothbrush!)
hrm, You are doing well and I'm glad to see that you are out and about enjoying life. It's very much a blessing when we have friends and family that support us throughout this ordeal.
You have to find the humor in all of this because no one else would believe it. Once you find your balance, you begin to see just how different they become and see how they were growing up, i.e., long before we knew them.
I'm wondering if his concern about the cable bill was because he was afraid that he would not have any access to tv shows. He wanted to make sure he still had access to the various networks.
Enjoy your Sunday. I'm sure your "teenager" will have something to do today.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Oh Snodderly, I have been doing well.... until today. Today freaking svcks! Went in to get my oil changed, and of course nothing can be simple. The guy came out to get me and show me some of the metal threads are coming through on the tires, I need new ones. I of course am not a tire expert, but figured not to get them at the dealer, too expensive. I texted H, of course he didn't reply, probably not at work like he should be. He would never take time off before to do things with me, but now he will take random time off for everything else...whatever. The guy at the dealer made me promise to get them taken care of ASAP because it's not safe, I really shouldn't be driving with them. I told him I would get it taken care of. Ah, so comforting when a stranger is more worried about my safety then my H. Well I got home and H called me. Which made me want to throw the damn phone across the room, but I didn't. H just said it's my car (in both our names, thanks so much), my decision, but he would look at it because he found it hard to believe the tires would be doing that on the car already because it's not that old. I told him not to inconvenience himself and I would take care of it. What a complete and total jackass! I'm sure if it was some random woman he would have bent over backwards to help them..... He used to be in the tire business, that's why I figured I should call him to begin with.
This just also adds to the irritation of the addition of his latest toy, which showed up last night.... a rather large lawn/garden cart to pull all of his shooting crap around. I saw him putting it together when I went downstairs to get some of my gardening things. I also, had to wrestle with the new hose reel I got.... I thought it would be easier, nope, a hassle too. Can't win, that's all there is to it. After I got the hose squared away I started weeding around the front of the house. H comes up to the window and asks me, if I "have plans for the tv". I told him no, have at it. I think he was trying to see if his new toy pissed me off, it didn't (just irritating, must be nice to buy whatever the heck you want), because I mean really, I'm weeding, and when do I ever want the tv anymore???
Wendy, I have been using your detachment techniques.... even picture the word detach, flashing like a neon sign in my head... it's just not working today. One would think after this much time a person would realize all the useless crap in the world isn't going to provide the happiness they are looking for. One would also think they would see their spouse is their biggest supporter, NOT the arch nemesis, but what do I know?
I feel so tired all the time, drained.... I thought I was sleeping ok, maybe I'm not. Who knows. I'm just sad today. I'm tired of being sad, and crying, and being tired. Will it ever end?
When you take the car in to get new tires, ask them about the tread wear pattern. If the tires aren't that old and have worn out on one side, there may be a problem with your alignment - if so, you'll need to get that fixed or your new tires will wear out early too.
Do you have Costco where you are, or Discount Tire Stores? I've had good service from Discount.
hrm, You need to do a google on the tire that you have. You may have a bad set and could be reimbursed for the what tread you still have on them. Please do not drive on them for very long. It's dangerous once the steal belts begin to come through.
I guess your h opted for the cart right now instead of the car. The toys just keep popping up all over the place when mlc strikes!
Take a deep breath and try to relax a bit.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
W did her search for thing-happiness at thrift stores (thankfully not Macy's )...hundreds of dollars a month...do you know how much stuff hundreds of dollars buys??? a month??? All the thrift stores in town knew/know her by name and mood...this went on for 3 years. I couldn't say anything at the time, she would flip sh!t or use waif tactics on me (they still worked then)...I just would shake my head when she wasn't looking.
One branch even opened a THRIFT STORE OUTLET...yup, an outlet, where they charge BY THE POUND for stuff that didn't sell in the regular stores...we had a van...W asked me to take the seats out... then we lost half our house, it still came in a found its way into the garage, along with the half house things not destroyed...i finally had to tell her that she had to fill the van with stuff to re-donate before she could bring more in. This was right before BD, btw, when I finally stood up.
During one of her alien spew fests at my expense she railed on my spending all these years, etc (one of our M issues)...so I downloaded the last 3 years of bank transactions, did some evil spreadsheet sorting and totalled up her thrift store addiction, 5 figures, and gave it to her, printed out, in full. Funny how "my" spending issue became "our" spending issue all the sudden.
This was in Feb when I was thinking I was "done" and considering kicking her out...she started changing shortly thereafter, I sometimes wonder if that was a first reality check that started her questioning herself and what she thought she knew or something...I will probably never know...
The sadness, tiredness and drained feelings will start dissipating and be shorter and farther between...they will still sneak up on ya, but you will do better with them...time and practice are our friends...
You are doing great!!!! and !!
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
Sorry you are having a bad day. Funny, I was too. I was WAY down in the dumps. But I went to meet friends at the beach. We got rained on! Then I ran to the commissary and got steaks and fish, met the friends back at my house and I cooked and we all talked, and suddenly I felt so much better. It was just nice, impromptu and fun. My S22 joined us and cooked the steaks and fish. S27 and his family showed up and opened a coconut and roasted it, and finished the food. 11 people including various kids. SWEET!
No STBXH making me worry that I was talking too much, or that he was missing some TV show or another. I was happy in a way I had forgotten I used to be.
Funny about the TV. I recently gave my kids one I had in my sewing room because I never watch it. Unless it is on the TV radio station....
I hope you are feeling better. I was cycling thru moods today, and think it is a moon phase or something.
Aloha,
Wendy
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
We all went out Friday night, had a good time. Before I left home Friday evening H comes and knocks on "my" door to ask me if I paid the cable bill. I was like yeah... pretty sure I did that awhile ago, when it was due.... I told him I would check. Thought it was funny he remembered we have bills to pay. So I checked my bank account and told him the date and amount I paid. He said thanks and sorry for interrupting. I said oh, btw I won't be home tonight. He said ok, be safe and have fun. (that caught me off guard since I was expecting more 17 year old behavior, but apparently we had 2 days of that and lapsed ever so slightly back into normal). 
)...hundreds of dollars a month...do you know how 