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I would chalk it up to checking her position. She wanted you to see her looking good and see how you would react. There was no legitimate reason for it.

Remember when you played chase as a kid? You would outrun your pursuer and they would stop and give up. So you walk back to them to entice them and the chase starts again.

I don't think what she is doing is spiteful, showing you what you would be missing. She is just checking her position. If you react to her, she knows she still has you so she can move at her own pace. If you don't play into her tactics, she knows she is going to have to come closer.

It can be a good thing she came by if you play it right.


M-40
W-33
D3, D4, SD13
T 9 YEARS
M 5 YEARS
ILYBINILWY APRIL 2012
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Thanks Lost, Childhood chase is a good analogy!


M-45
W-44
2D - 11&13
2SS - 11&17
Married 10/10/10
Bomb 3/5/12
Moved 5 houses away 4/20/12
Back together 9/12
Seperated 6/13
Divorce Final 11/13/13
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Originally Posted By: Tinman
Then later my W came by our house and she was all decked out in a new dress and looking oh so good. She said she was on her way out to meet up with her group of friends and just wanted to stop and say hello to me. I told her she looked great and she lite up. She does love the attention.



Imagine a world, in which you could STFU, detach while dealing with your crap. Give her time to actually miss you, and that was you, showing up at her door, making her feel that way ????

Not in a way to get her back, just in a way in which you were living YOUR life, not worrying about every little thing she does.


Oh what a world that could be....

If I only had a .......????

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Mach1 - You crack me up! If only…. I will work on my visualization skills!

Great start to Friday 13th! Thanks for the insight and chuckle!


M-45
W-44
2D - 11&13
2SS - 11&17
Married 10/10/10
Bomb 3/5/12
Moved 5 houses away 4/20/12
Back together 9/12
Seperated 6/13
Divorce Final 11/13/13
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Your mindreading Tin. You will be unable to find the answer and its a waste of valuable time that you can be spending on improving yourself.


Me- 34 W-33
S15 S10 S6
Married- 11 Together- 18
Bomb- 6-2011
WAW moves out- 8-2011

"Nothing in the Universe can stop you from letting go and starting over at anytime"- Guy Finley
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Good Morning!

Just finshed a 36 mile bike ride. Having lunch with an old female friend and then night out on town with buddies. Should keep me pretty occupied today.

Still miss her like crazy!


M-45
W-44
2D - 11&13
2SS - 11&17
Married 10/10/10
Bomb 3/5/12
Moved 5 houses away 4/20/12
Back together 9/12
Seperated 6/13
Divorce Final 11/13/13
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 4,687
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HELP ???

You have fallen, rusted, and can't reach your oil can ????

Pretty quiet in here Tin.....

Usually that means that you are doing really well...

Or you did something incredibly stupid..

Anyone wanna take bets ???

: )

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What kind of wager we talking about here?


Me- 34 W-33
S15 S10 S6
Married- 11 Together- 18
Bomb- 6-2011
WAW moves out- 8-2011

"Nothing in the Universe can stop you from letting go and starting over at anytime"- Guy Finley
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 181
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Oh my you guys crack me up. Yes big weekend for us. On Saturday I did my GAL and had a great time. Then Sunday after a little bit of recovery I received an invitation from W to go up North to a friend’s cabin with her and the boys. I accepted and we went up and had a great time. I spent some time with her boys and a lot of time with her.
Initially we kept everything very light and just enjoyed each other’s company. I was just going to go up for the day but she invited me to stay over and I did (separate room). The next day started out great. We went and did some exploring and then we went back to the cabin. We were having a great time (maybe I already said that) and I gave her a hug and she whispered in my ear that we needed to take it slow. I agreed and then she kissed me like she has not in a long time and that is all I am going to share about that ;-)
We did not get too far into everything but she told me she was so mad at me because I had been doing everything that she had been asking me to do. She said that she felt like I was only interested in betting myself because I was single. I explained that I realized that I failed her in those areas and I was addressing those as best I could. I explained that while I still felt like we would be together in the end I had to do all these things for myself and for all my relationships.
After this weekend I really think we are going to start working toward reconciliation and I could not be happier!! I am going to take things slow, giver her the space she needs and continue to work on myself.

Thanks so much for all the advice and feedback that kept me somewhat from losing my mind.


M-45
W-44
2D - 11&13
2SS - 11&17
Married 10/10/10
Bomb 3/5/12
Moved 5 houses away 4/20/12
Back together 9/12
Seperated 6/13
Divorce Final 11/13/13
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 563
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Hi Tinman,

I feel your pain. I am sure you can agree this is one of, if not the most difficult things we’ve been through. Be proud of yourself for trying to do everything you can. Like yourself, I am somewhat newer to this board however that doesn’t mean I am not perceptive. To be brutally honest, I’ve read your thread and it’s very clear. YOU ARE NOT LISTENING AND IMPLEMENTING WHAT SOME OF THESE WISE PEOPLE ON THIS BOARD ARE TELLING YOU. I don’t think it’s sinking in for you.

You thank people for their comments. Yes, that’s nice to be appreciative but you’re not implementing what they are telling you, plain and simple. You will defend yourself by saying something like “I did the right thing” or “ I don’t know how I could’ve handled things any differently”.

The consistency of those comments is a direct reflection to my point, you’re not listening. A lot of your thread revolves around knowledgeable people trying to pound the same things into you. You get to page 14 on your thread and your STILL telling her how great she looks? Come on now, you should know better than that by now.

I am mentioning this because I think you are doing things that are making things even harder on yourself when you’re actually supposed to have the “working on ME mentality”. In other words, your being counterproductive. I know it’s rough my friend. I know it’s not easy. I am right there with you.

Roughenough

Me(M):38
W:43
Together: 14 Married: 11
D: 4 S:8
W wanted separation 5/5/12
Stopped living together 5/5/12
Currently in DB stage

“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude”.
Thomas Jefferson

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