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#2253274 - 06/12/12 02:26 AM Re: My story, my progress, my hope [Re: Brit45]
Tinman Offline
Member

Registered: 06/07/12
Posts: 181
Truegritter - Thanks for the feedback and yes I agree on the co-dependency. Has always been an issue for me. working with C and reading about how to get past that issue.
Scary that the further I dig into my own issues the more I learn and the more I realize I have still to learn.
_________________________
M-45
W-44
2D - 11&13
2SS - 11&17
Married 10/10/10
Bomb 3/5/12
Moved 5 houses away 4/20/12
Back together 9/12
Seperated 6/13
Divorce Final 11/13/13

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#2253663 - 06/13/12 12:00 PM Re: My story, my progress, my hope [Re: Tinman]
Tinman Offline
Member

Registered: 06/07/12
Posts: 181
Journal Entry - So yesterday my W went to Las Vegas with her Boss for a conference. The day before my kids had run down to say hello and she was on her way out to take her kids for sushi. She asked us to come along and we did. It was a nice time but then it came time to pay and she was pulling money out of her wallet and she had about 20 one dollar bills and I laughed and said looks like you are ready to hit a strip club. She said well actually my boss said she wants to go to a male strip club while they are in Vegas. I was kind of shocked but tried to keep smiling. She said she did not really want to go but the two women that she was going with were very excited about going. Oh well, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas? I told her to go and have fun and she said thanks I will.
I have only been there once and that was to get married:-( I do miss her!!!
_________________________
M-45
W-44
2D - 11&13
2SS - 11&17
Married 10/10/10
Bomb 3/5/12
Moved 5 houses away 4/20/12
Back together 9/12
Seperated 6/13
Divorce Final 11/13/13

Top
#2253725 - 06/13/12 04:07 PM Re: My story, my progress, my hope [Re: Tinman]
Tinman Offline
Member

Registered: 06/07/12
Posts: 181
Journal entry - So the day before she left for Vegas and after we went out for sushi her youngest 8 asked to come over and hang out with my kids and then her oldest 16 came over and hung out for a couple hours. I was thrilled because her boys, with good reason, felt left out when we were living together. This was one of her concerns that she felt like my ex-wife and her drama were first, then my girls, then her and her boys were fourth and that to her was unacceptable. I completely understand, her boys have a pretty decent life. Amazing mom and they have a pretty decent relationship with their dad so they really did not need me so I did not put the effort in that I should have. I have been trying very hard the last 3-4 months to give them more of me but it is a little more difficult to do as I don't see them very much and they are content to play xbox and hang out with their mom. I bought the 16 year old a small motor bike for his birthday with the intention of working on it with him. We have spent a little time changing the oil and a few times when he has run out of gas or had problems with it he has called me to come and get him and to help him fix it.
Anyway, when they came over to hang with us I was thrilled. W text and asked me to send them home so she could spend more time with them. Told her I was happy to see them but sent them home. I think if I could be a better father figure to them then that might also help plus I really do miss having them around and wanting to do stuff with me. Don't know what you have until it is gone:-(
_________________________
M-45
W-44
2D - 11&13
2SS - 11&17
Married 10/10/10
Bomb 3/5/12
Moved 5 houses away 4/20/12
Back together 9/12
Seperated 6/13
Divorce Final 11/13/13

Top
#2253875 - 06/13/12 08:51 PM Re: My story, my progress, my hope [Re: Tinman]
Tinman Offline
Member

Registered: 06/07/12
Posts: 181
I put my wedding ring back on today. She took hers off about 2 months ago and I did not find out until she called me to come help her as she had a flat tire. She had also hid her relationship status on Facebook (did not change it to single just hide it)I was shocked and hurt. So about 2 weeks ago I figured I would do the same thing. I hide my relationship status and took off my wedding ring. I did it mostly to see if I could get a reaction from her. None!
So this morning I decided that I just am not to that point. I am still married and still very much in love with my W and hopeful for the future. I don't really care what she or others might think. Next time I take it off it will be because I am done. (Big talker:-)
_________________________
M-45
W-44
2D - 11&13
2SS - 11&17
Married 10/10/10
Bomb 3/5/12
Moved 5 houses away 4/20/12
Back together 9/12
Seperated 6/13
Divorce Final 11/13/13

Top
#2253956 - 06/14/12 12:21 AM Re: My story, my progress, my hope [Re: Tinman]
Tinman Offline
Member

Registered: 06/07/12
Posts: 181
Any advice would be greatly appriciated. I need all I can get. Buller.... Buller.... :-)
_________________________
M-45
W-44
2D - 11&13
2SS - 11&17
Married 10/10/10
Bomb 3/5/12
Moved 5 houses away 4/20/12
Back together 9/12
Seperated 6/13
Divorce Final 11/13/13

Top
#2254086 - 06/14/12 12:03 PM Re: My story, my progress, my hope [Re: Tinman]
Tinman Offline
Member

Registered: 06/07/12
Posts: 181
Bump
_________________________
M-45
W-44
2D - 11&13
2SS - 11&17
Married 10/10/10
Bomb 3/5/12
Moved 5 houses away 4/20/12
Back together 9/12
Seperated 6/13
Divorce Final 11/13/13

Top
#2254203 - 06/14/12 04:57 PM Re: My story, my progress, my hope [Re: Tinman]
Tinman Offline
Member

Registered: 06/07/12
Posts: 181
Journal entry - Trying to keep busy and keep my mind off of things. I get up go for a 10 mile bike ride, come home get the kids up and drop them off at day camp, head to work, pick kids up, get them dinner, head to Crossfit class and then back home to spend a little time with kids before getting them off to be. Yet I just can't stop checking my phone hoping for a text message or checking this web site to see if anyone has left any perls of wisdom but I silence... Crickets...

the only part of my life that I wish would go away but keeps charging back is my crazy ex-wife. I am in the process of going after full custody of the kids. CPS has issued a report with some very concerning problems, the parenting coordinator has said that there are probelms that the court needs to address and the girls school social worker has made at least three calls to CPS yet a year later the battle continues. Summer schedules are always a treat. We each get 3 weeks of vacation. Every year is is another fight. Last year she actualy took her 21 days and selected one vacation day at a time and only on my days. So in one week if I had them Tuesday and Thursday then she would only use two vacation days and take Tuesday and Thursday. Had to have parenting coordinator tell her this was not acceptable. This year her parents decided that they wanted to take the kids to Hawaii and they decided it needed to happen during my time with the kids and it should not impact ex's 3 weeks. Parenting coordinator again told her no but she decided to object to parenting coordinators report and ask the court for releif. The court also told her no. But this little issue cost me about $1,000. So last night I finally put that issue to bed and this morning I find out that ex has filed for an order or protection claiming that I beat her up 6 years ago. I am so worn out. I have recordings of the times she is claiming these incidents happened so my attorney should be able to object and have the order dismissed but there just does not appear to be an end to this horrible situation. I totally get why my wonderful W left me. Right now I wish I could leave me too. I got the attorney bill yesterday for the summer schedule issue and last month was almost 2,000 and now this issue will be even more and we have not even gotten to the part were we go to trial.

Help!!!
_________________________
M-45
W-44
2D - 11&13
2SS - 11&17
Married 10/10/10
Bomb 3/5/12
Moved 5 houses away 4/20/12
Back together 9/12
Seperated 6/13
Divorce Final 11/13/13

Top
#2254428 - 06/15/12 12:17 PM Re: My story, my progress, my hope [Re: Tinman]
Tinman Offline
Member

Registered: 06/07/12
Posts: 181
Journal Entry - really kind of ready to give up on this. I add entries and then by the time they get apporved they are still back on page 7.
kind of hard to even remember where I ended up my journal entries yesterday as i can't see them. Yesterday was busy.
My W, still in vegas at a conferance sent me a text yesterday
W- I have a huge favor. (Her ex) is going to bring boys to my house tomorrow afternoon, but I won't be home till at least 7:30. would you mind having them to your house for dinner? I know I don't have anything for them at my house.
M - Sure, I'd like to see the boys and sure girls will enjoy it too.
W- That would be great! Thanks! Have you seen how the pool looks lately? How is (famliy dog)?
M - We went over last night and (family dog) was good. Don't think the pool guy had been back yet but not sure. You having fun?
W- Of course:-) thanks for checking in on (family dog)...again!

So trying to keep things friendly and upbeat with no pressure:-)
Getting a little easier every day.

Now off for my bike ride.
_________________________
M-45
W-44
2D - 11&13
2SS - 11&17
Married 10/10/10
Bomb 3/5/12
Moved 5 houses away 4/20/12
Back together 9/12
Seperated 6/13
Divorce Final 11/13/13

Top
#2254430 - 06/15/12 12:20 PM Re: My story, my progress, my hope [Re: Tinman]
Tinman Offline
Member

Registered: 06/07/12
Posts: 181
Wow, I made it off of super-secret probation and my entry went right to top but I don't see some of the posts from yesterday. Hmmm maybe operator error on my part. Feel like dancing!!
_________________________
M-45
W-44
2D - 11&13
2SS - 11&17
Married 10/10/10
Bomb 3/5/12
Moved 5 houses away 4/20/12
Back together 9/12
Seperated 6/13
Divorce Final 11/13/13

Top
#2254433 - 06/15/12 12:26 PM Re: My story, my progress, my hope [Re: Tinman]
peringo Offline
Member

Registered: 04/15/12
Posts: 149
Loc: MN USA
Super-secret probation... lol. I think its really to teach patient at a time when you need instant feedback to calm your nerves....
_________________________
Me: 37 W:33
S: 2
M: 9/5/09
Suspected: 1/7/12
Confirmed: 2/10/12
Served: 3/29/12
W moved out 3/30/12
First court 5/17/12
HELP!

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