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Joined: Apr 2012
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After the great time we had a couple days ago, H feeling safe with me, I didn't hear from H for a day and a half which is quite unusual.

I thought of the analogies here on the forum: the feral cat, the picnic outside the castle, etc. I kept myself busy, too, so as not to think about it too much.

At one point yesterday evening, I felt like I HAD to contact him. Then I remembered one poster here saying it took every ounce of strength she had not to contact her H. And I thought, if she could do that, so could I! The community here is great!

So then today, we had lots of texting and some funny issues came up and we sent pics back and forth with S12 and it was all lighthearted and enjoyable.

I'm being VERY careful with H. I don't exactly act like a co-worker because I flirt with him when I can, but I've definitely changed my stance with him. No wondering where he is or what he's doing (out loud anyway), no suggestions of "us" or anything. No sadness.

And now I have goals for myself that don't include him or kids, so when he asks me about what is going on I can be exuberant about my life. Because I am! My life is something that can move forward during this time of standstill. Strange, huh?

When I start to slip during the day, I take out the DB quotes, advice and wisdom I've copied into my notes and read them. And review my goals. Sometimes I have to do this several times a day and it seems to be working for me to stay on track.

AND, I'm not expecting a quick turnaround. I'm in it for the long haul and I think I'll call my next thread that.


Me54/H47
'08 H is "done"
March '12 H moved out
Brink of D, December '12
2014 totally reconciled!
......
"I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal."
Jim Conway
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 623
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You are doing great! I was actually really wondering about you tonight because I hadn't seen you post in a while. So I'm glad you did.

I love all of your goals that you're setting for yourself. The smallest little things can make the biggest difference. And good for you for not contacting H. Keep that up. No more pursuing. It helps you just as much as it helps him. Believe me.


Me: 32 H: 32
M 9 yrs
#1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2
Bomb 8/12/11
H moved out 8/14/11
PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12
Got my own place 8/25/12
H & OW move in together 9/15/12
Still married.


Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,696
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Posts: 1,696
Please lock this thread. I'll start a new one.


Me54/H47
'08 H is "done"
March '12 H moved out
Brink of D, December '12
2014 totally reconciled!
......
"I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal."
Jim Conway
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