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Originally Posted By: jks
I can guarantee that a year ago I would never have been able to say "I like myself." But right now I really do. This is huge. I haven't felt this way about myself in a long time.

I'm realizing that taking my time with everything is actually really good for me. No more rash decisions. I'm seeing more and more that answers are coming to me little by little. This is a VERY gradual process. And for anyone thinking they just want a quick fix, you are in for a rude awakening. There is nothing quick about this.

However, this is probably the most I've ever grown and I am grateful for the experience everyday. I'm happy. I'm really happy.


This is so lovely and beautiful. I am so happy for you. In moments like this you can look back at the posts when you felt hopeless and desperate and almost laugh. I've done that a few times. It is a rollercoaster. You may still have dips but certainly deciding to take things slowly, No rash decisions will make you feel a lot better. In fact you saying this is making me feel a lot better about my recent money worries. No rash decisions, make informed choices, consider all options.

hmmm I may need to journal again. thank you! I love this outlet, and this board, and being able to learn from reading and listening to others.

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Originally Posted By: Brit45

In moments like this you can look back at the posts when you felt hopeless and desperate and almost laugh.


You have no idea... wink


Me: 32 H: 32
M 9 yrs
#1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2
Bomb 8/12/11
H moved out 8/14/11
PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12
Got my own place 8/25/12
H & OW move in together 9/15/12
Still married.


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Way to go jks. Your posts continue to inspire me.

I am not yet at the point where ' I like me'. I don't know why. I guess I am not sure what that feels like.

I look forward to getting there.

Continue taking care of yourself.

Hugs


TPS
Me: 44 H: 42
M14 T17
S10 D7
10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month
21/04/12 H is 'DONE'
04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010)
July '14 H ends affair
May '15 H moves back home
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My posts lately have been "hopeless and desperate" so it makes me (almost) laugh now ...
thinking about laughing about it later! Can't wait!

Thanks for the inspiration!


Me54/H47
'08 H is "done"
March '12 H moved out
Brink of D, December '12
2014 totally reconciled!
......
"I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal."
Jim Conway
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Originally Posted By: reachingHigher
My posts lately have been "hopeless and desperate" so it makes me (almost) laugh now ...
thinking about laughing about it later! Can't wait!


Love what you said here... it made me laugh. I can't wait for you either. Its such a great place to be.


Me: 32 H: 32
M 9 yrs
#1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2
Bomb 8/12/11
H moved out 8/14/11
PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12
Got my own place 8/25/12
H & OW move in together 9/15/12
Still married.


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Good for you! You took the high road.


M-45
W-44
2D - 11&13
2SS - 11&17
Married 10/10/10
Bomb 3/5/12
Moved 5 houses away 4/20/12
Back together 9/12
Seperated 6/13
Divorce Final 11/13/13
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I am feeling hurt tonight. I guess here comes my emotions again. Nothing really of great significance happened today. I am just downright missing having my family together. Sunday nights were always our family time and now I spend those nights mostly by myself.

And don't get me wrong, I really do enjoy my time to myself but sometimes you just long to have your family by your side. I long for that feeling of being close with someone like I was with my H. I know my kids want us back together so much and I'm realizing now, that I don't NEED H in my life... I just want him in my life.

I still have a long road of trying to detach, I'm afraid. I love that I've been feeling better about myself and I know I'm capable of going forward without him. I mean, it's been 10 months without him and I'm still alive. However, having learned what I've learned, I would just love the opportunity to continue that growth with him.

I love these boards. They keep me sane. I have learned so much from reading everyone's stories. And I always appreciate the feedback. Thank you to everyone who gives me continued support.


Me: 32 H: 32
M 9 yrs
#1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2
Bomb 8/12/11
H moved out 8/14/11
PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12
Got my own place 8/25/12
H & OW move in together 9/15/12
Still married.


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Oh, jks, I really feel for you.

I know just what you mean when you are having a family situation, so routine, and everyone is there but H! It leaves such an ache!

And you've got the 3 little ones. Always needing something from you, I'm sure. Its nice to have H around to balance the family out.

Are you all by yourself tonight, you mean?

I've got my boys with me 100% of the time & we homeschool too, but they are older so it's like I'm never lonely.

You can be growing and learning and still miss him. In the Laura Munson book I just read (labug's suggestion) the therapist asked why she loved her H. Laura said she couldn't think of any reason right then but it's just different when they walk in the room. When they are there, it's testosterone, and you feel different. Does that make sense? I may not be relating it exactly.

Hugs to you tonight. You have been a real inspiration to me. Thank you!


Me54/H47
'08 H is "done"
March '12 H moved out
Brink of D, December '12
2014 totally reconciled!
......
"I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal."
Jim Conway
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 623
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Originally Posted By: reachingHigher


Are you all by yourself tonight, you mean?


I'm not completely by myself. I live with my mom and her H and I had dinner with them tonight but it's not the same. H came today to pick up the kids and his family does a big family dinner every Sunday night.

Those were always the nights I looked forward to when we were together. The kids could play with their cousins and I just really enjoyed his family. The worst part about it is that OW is now joining them for these family get togethers.

That hurts A LOT!

I most definitely feel a difference when he's around. I don't even get to see him that much but yet he always seems to affect me so much when I do... STILL.

I'm just sad tonight. I haven't felt like this for a while. And so the cycle continues.


Me: 32 H: 32
M 9 yrs
#1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2
Bomb 8/12/11
H moved out 8/14/11
PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12
Got my own place 8/25/12
H & OW move in together 9/15/12
Still married.


Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,696
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Oh, jks, not the OW joining them! I'd be livid, not just sad!

I applaud you for not being angry at H! That must take an incredible amount of strength to feel sad and not angry! How could he!

Those family get togethers are the stuff our lives are made of. I wish I had those even now. I have my boys but we have no family nearby and few friends. That part is REALLY lonely.

I'm so sorry you have to put up with this.

Today when my H held me I ran my fingers through his hair. He loves that. I tried to memorize the feeling of him to remember tonight when he's gone. I don't think that's wrong to treasure who they are even if we have to try to detach. To love the way they smell, the way we fit together when they hug us, to thrill at the sound of their voice, it's the spark we have for them. And it's precious.

But you are the mother of his children!

I'm not good at advice or thought-provoking questions like a lot of the others here on the forum -- but you can have TONS of sympathy from me!!!!


Me54/H47
'08 H is "done"
March '12 H moved out
Brink of D, December '12
2014 totally reconciled!
......
"I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal."
Jim Conway
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