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LOL...

Dear old love, when I acted like I felt badly that the tattoo artist could not change my initials on your back into that new design of yours, i really didn't.


I am cracking myself up.


Me(f): 51 W: 41
DP:8 M:3 T:10
"W not happy" 7/11
D final: 8/13
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Dear old love,
I really miss your family. They were a part of my life, too. I especially miss your loudmouth, drunken sister and her alcololic husband (who fell over our table and sent dirt from that potted plant everywhere). But, most of all, I miss your 22-year-old daughter who lived with us for the past two years. If it had not been for her, and her self-centered, moody, lazy, dirty, entitled personality, I would not be enjoying my counseling sessions so much today.


M:63
H:53
S:41, SS:28, SS:25, SD:23
M:15
T:16

Bomb:12/17/11, "I think we should go our separate ways."
H moves to his mother's house, 4/1/12
12/21/12: H moves back home, piecing

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"When we were together I felt like I needed to constantly know what you were doing, I thought I was just because I loved you. Now, I realize it was really because I didn’t trust you."

I love it.

Have a great day!!!

(( ))


TPS
Me: 44 H: 42
M14 T17
S10 D7
10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month
21/04/12 H is 'DONE'
04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010)
July '14 H ends affair
May '15 H moves back home
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Hey Grace, hopefully you absence means you'd had a great weekend!

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hey brit, thanks for checking in. i have been having a fun weekend, i kept really busy with friends. i felt really grateful for them and for how much i have started to be able to enjoy things more. how was your weekend?

something cool happened. my mother loved hummingbirds and i think she is looking after me when I see them. (i even have a tattoo of one.) anyhow, a few weeks ago one sat on a kangaroo paw branch in my front yard and let me get within a few feet to take photos. yesterday, after bicycling, one sat in the air right in front of me a few feet away for a minute at least. i got the most amazing photo on my iPhone. i wish i could share it with you.

i have had hummingbirds in the yard for years but they have never let me get so close.

i did not think about W much but did want to show her the photo..and did cry a little on my way home today, i just miss her sometimes.

it was interesting, i spent time with an friend i have known for 20 years...and she was telling me how she always felt like my W was cold and never felt comfortable around her.. it surprises me bc W was always so warm and loving with me (until the BD). i am not sure what i think about it all, i guess it makes me feel sad in that i know that W had not opened her heart to anyone before me.. and she has not only closed off to me now but is denying so much about our history together.

most weekends, i have been trying to find things to do not to be alone...this weekend, i was busy but had moments where i was wanting to be home... i am fine alone in my home. yay!

hope everyone else had a good weekend! smile


Me(f): 51 W: 41
DP:8 M:3 T:10
"W not happy" 7/11
D final: 8/13
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Originally Posted By: needgrace
i spent time with an friend i have known for 20 years...and she was telling me how she always felt like my W was cold and never felt comfortable around her.. it surprises me bc W was always so warm and loving with me (until the BD).
This is not the first time I have heard this, and in fact it is the same with my wife.

I think that they did have a underlying low level depression that was hiddem from us but would show itself to others.

After BD then we see it too.

Love is a choice, and they are choosing it differently than what we would like.
Does not mean that it will always be that way because they can change back.
It takes a long time for that to happen.
Same thing as a 14 year old girl, takes her a long time to become an ADULT.
Does not happen overnight but it does happen.

You are doing great NG, keep it up


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Thank you,Cadet smile

I greatly appreciate your encouragement and your reminders that this is a long ride, it helps me stay calm.

I had a dream last night that I was at a wedding reception. All the couples I knew chose to sit at small tables where they could be alone together. I was seated in the middle of a large banquet hall table with no one near me me. I felt very alone and sad.. but I ended up just moving my seat to the end of the table to sit next to someone I did not know. I felt proud of myself for moving..

I was with a friend this weekend who is getting married soon to a wonderful woman. I thought back to 4 years ago, she was going through a terrible break-up and felt similarly to how I have been feeling recently. I was reminded how life can change... and that time is on our side... not just for another chance w/ W but for the possibility of someone new and wonderful if W never looks back.

Weird... someone asked me this weekend if I was single... I about choked and did not know what to say. I am married in my mind, but feel silly saying that when everyone knows my W is w/ someone else and lives in another state...


Me(f): 51 W: 41
DP:8 M:3 T:10
"W not happy" 7/11
D final: 8/13
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 1,108
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Quote:
I was with a friend this weekend who is getting married soon to a wonderful woman. I thought back to 4 years ago, she was going through a terrible break-up and felt similarly to how I have been feeling recently. I was reminded how life can change... and that time is on our side... not just for another chance w/ W but for the possibility of someone new and wonderful if W never looks back.


so so true. I went away at the end of April and saw a girl I'd met in 2009 at the time she's come out of an 8 year R was back living with her parents and feeling in her mid 30s not very hopeful. how things change. Here she was 5 month pregnant, a surprise but a happy one at her age, and a few weeks later she and her BF moved into the home they'd bought together and upon walking in he'd proposed. I remember how she felt then and how she spent a year and a half not dating and yes if we all had a crystal ball how different we'd feel.

I am so so so so proud of you. How difficult is a wedding when you're going through what we are. good for you! not only for going but moving to talk to people you don't know. Fantastic!

My sis (wonderful fountain of wisdom) told me how easy it is for the rough edges to appear smooth when we look through the eyes of love. We're more willing to compromise and act with tenderness. It's possible that someone outside the M can see our partners with more clarity than we can. I think that's why when we detach we start to see them slightly different as well!

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LOL Brit, the wedding was a dream. sorry i did not make it clear but thx for the laugh!

i just saw IC and she said something that made me think..
when she was dating her husband someone she know asked her if he knocked her socks off. she replied, that he knocks 1 1/2 of her socks off.

she told me that it is dangerous to expect that someone else will knock both of our socks off all the time or that we will need them to do that when we should do part of it for ourself.

how true...no one is perfect in every way meaning too that no one is perfect for us..

i think we live in a disposable society where if things are not just right we dispose and move on...

but we carry the baggage and the expectations that in reality no one can meet.


Me(f): 51 W: 41
DP:8 M:3 T:10
"W not happy" 7/11
D final: 8/13
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,352
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OK, I had just read J3B's excellent comment and committed it to memory

"I found it was easier for me to assume everything was a test. What test you ask?
A test to see if she could trust the changes I made in myself"

when W emails me a question about our shared property and asks what I think we should do...

i was on my way to provide the answer (fixer, enabler, rescuer armed and ready)..

when I stopped..

remembered the wisdom of J3B..

and thought that this was a test.

i have always taken care of things, so asking me what "we" should do means that W does not need to think about it..

and we stay stuck in the same pattern...

so i will wait.


Me(f): 51 W: 41
DP:8 M:3 T:10
"W not happy" 7/11
D final: 8/13
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