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#2252725 - 06/09/12 10:30 PM Re: LRT - Checking Progress [Re: peringo]
LostIn407 Offline
Member

Registered: 05/24/12
Posts: 186
She has her apartment. We have separate bank accounts. She gets no financial support from me.

Her account is our joint account since she has a lot of things tied to it. I am using an account I had before we were married. When I log on to check my account, they are linked so I can see both. She is in for a rude awakening come July 1 when her rent is due based on what I see in her account.

But yes, we are split properly. Set visitation agreement we have been keeping for over a month. Split finances.
_________________________
M-40
W-33
D3, D4, SD13
T 9 YEARS
M 5 YEARS
ILYBINILWY APRIL 2012

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#2252728 - 06/09/12 10:41 PM Re: LRT - Checking Progress [Re: LostIn407]
peringo Offline
Member

Registered: 04/15/12
Posts: 149
Loc: MN USA
I don't remember if you got served or not... if not, I would cut her off all insurances; health, car, home, life, as well.... once served you cannot change insurance coverage. Make her really feel what it like not to be married.
_________________________
Me: 37 W:33
S: 2
M: 9/5/09
Suspected: 1/7/12
Confirmed: 2/10/12
Served: 3/29/12
W moved out 3/30/12
First court 5/17/12
HELP!

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#2252733 - 06/09/12 11:46 PM Re: LRT - Checking Progress [Re: peringo]
jks Offline
Member

Registered: 03/08/12
Posts: 623
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: peringo
I don't remember if you got served or not... if not, I would cut her off all insurances; health, car, home, life, as well.... once served you cannot change insurance coverage. Make her really feel what it like not to be married.



I don't know that you would want to push it this far. Didn't you say that your W hasn't even brought up D yet? To me, these actions just sound vindictive.
_________________________
Me: 32 H: 32
M 9 yrs
#1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2
Bomb 8/12/11
H moved out 8/14/11
PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12
Got my own place 8/25/12
H & OW move in together 9/15/12
Still married.



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#2252819 - 06/10/12 11:46 AM Re: LRT - Checking Progress [Re: jks]
LostIn407 Offline
Member

Registered: 05/24/12
Posts: 186
I am in no hurry to file for D. I see no difference in my sitch now or if I filed for D. She has her own insurance, car is in her name, apartment is in her name. Everything is neatly divided. I do pay for car insurance, but it is minimal as my car is a piece of crap. Multi-car discount and such, I would only save like $50 a month. Not an issue for me right now.


Journal:
Woke up today and the weather was nice. Been storming a lot lately. I decided to go rollerblading and then do some yardwork while it was still nice out.

At 11:00am, W stopped by unexpectantly. I was under the impression I was dropping off D13 to her. She sat in the driveway and didn't come in. I didn't go out. D13 came back in asking for the bathing suits for D3 and D4. I took them to the W. She asked if I got her text, I told her I hadn't checked my phone in a bit.

She said she texted me that it was good weather to go rollerblading. I told her I already went this morning. She was mildly upset. I told her I knew she had plans and wouldn't go anyways. (based on her comment last night 'I think you know what I am doing tonight (OM)). She played it off that she likes to sleep in and likes to go later.

She then invited me to go swimming with her and the Ds. I told her I had to do laundry today. She said I could do it at her place. I told her I would get back with her later.


What to do? I can go and spend the time with my Ds and not focus on the W, but not ignore her. Or I can just continue with my plans today.
_________________________
M-40
W-33
D3, D4, SD13
T 9 YEARS
M 5 YEARS
ILYBINILWY APRIL 2012

Top
#2252825 - 06/10/12 12:18 PM Re: LRT - Checking Progress [Re: LostIn407]
peringo Offline
Member

Registered: 04/15/12
Posts: 149
Loc: MN USA
OM=NO HUBBY... no hubby duties... she wants you there to help with the kids... let her be a single mom...

I would extremely limit co-parenting time... studies show that give children false hope and security...
_________________________
Me: 37 W:33
S: 2
M: 9/5/09
Suspected: 1/7/12
Confirmed: 2/10/12
Served: 3/29/12
W moved out 3/30/12
First court 5/17/12
HELP!

Top
#2252864 - 06/10/12 04:32 PM Re: LRT - Checking Progress [Re: peringo]
LostIn407 Offline
Member

Registered: 05/24/12
Posts: 186
I was running some errands and the last errand caused me to pass by her apartment. I decided to stop. They weren't at the pool. I got back into my car and called to let her know I stopped by but they weren't there.

She said they were eating lunch and invited me to come up. I declined and went to finish my errands.

Last errand was some clothes shopping for me since I have been working out and losing a lot of weight. I must say, I look good. W sent me another text saying they were at the pool. I decided to stop by as I wanted to spend some swimming time with my Ds.

I hardly said a word to W, but wasn't rude. I concentrated on my Ds and being their dad.

I was the one to say goodbye first as I left while they were still swimming. W invited me to stay and have dinner. I said I had dinner started at my house already and left.


Trying hard to completely avoid time with W, but it is really hard with the Ds. I am doing a much better job.
_________________________
M-40
W-33
D3, D4, SD13
T 9 YEARS
M 5 YEARS
ILYBINILWY APRIL 2012

Top
#2252886 - 06/10/12 05:54 PM Re: LRT - Checking Progress [Re: LostIn407]
jks Offline
Member

Registered: 03/08/12
Posts: 623
Loc: USA
You are doing a good job. I commend you because I know that would be very hard. It's almost easier that my H doesn't ask me to do anything with him. I'll never have to worry about being put in that situation. It takes a lot of willpower.
_________________________
Me: 32 H: 32
M 9 yrs
#1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2
Bomb 8/12/11
H moved out 8/14/11
PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12
Got my own place 8/25/12
H & OW move in together 9/15/12
Still married.



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#2252891 - 06/10/12 06:11 PM Re: LRT - Checking Progress [Re: jks]
peringo Offline
Member

Registered: 04/15/12
Posts: 149
Loc: MN USA
Spending time with the kids is hard to resist, I struggle with that to, it doesa soften momsmoms heart alittleto to seeYOU kids havingto fun withto dad, just make sure by doing so you are not giving her any freedom from parenting.... if the kids start to get unruly on her time, hit the bricks... let her deal.
_________________________
Me: 37 W:33
S: 2
M: 9/5/09
Suspected: 1/7/12
Confirmed: 2/10/12
Served: 3/29/12
W moved out 3/30/12
First court 5/17/12
HELP!

Top
#2253008 - 06/11/12 08:57 AM Re: LRT - Checking Progress [Re: peringo]
LostIn407 Offline
Member

Registered: 05/24/12
Posts: 186
So today my SIL told my W she would be watching the Ds in a couple of weeks because I was going out of town. Going somewhere the W and I wanted to go but never did.

I guess this upset the W. SIL said she was talking to the W fine but once she told the W, she changed. W said she saw me last night and I didn't mention the trip. W asked the SIL when I asked if she could watch the Ds and she said Friday.

My guess is the W is going to try to rush to plan a trip out of town with OM in spite. Whatever. I am going with W's cousin as he has become my hang-out buddy. It is part of my GAL plan, to travel more and not sit around all the time.

Reminds me about a comment the W made on Saturday. She said "You go out more than I do". I had to laugh at this. I have the Ds more than her. I am working a second job. I guess the nights I tell her I have plans, she thinks I am going out.

Expecting it to be bad this week with the W doing things intentionally to get my attention in a negative way.
_________________________
M-40
W-33
D3, D4, SD13
T 9 YEARS
M 5 YEARS
ILYBINILWY APRIL 2012

Top
#2253010 - 06/11/12 08:59 AM Re: LRT - Checking Progress [Re: LostIn407]
LostIn407 Offline
Member

Registered: 05/24/12
Posts: 186
Thing is, I would rather take my W and enjoy the trip. But no way in h3ll I am doing that while the OM is around.
_________________________
M-40
W-33
D3, D4, SD13
T 9 YEARS
M 5 YEARS
ILYBINILWY APRIL 2012

Top
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