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#2251622 06/06/12 03:11 AM
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Previous thread...
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2251177&page=1

I've been feeling good. I'm starting to slowly see why things have happened the way they have. I need to be a strong, independent woman who likes who she is before I can be a good wife to any man. I really am starting to embrace who I am. It's such a sense of peace.

Recently, I have been talking with that other guy more and more and I was coming to realize that it was starting to feel like a R. He was sending me messages everyday, asking me what I was up to and how my day was and always wanting to do things with me. He would make comments like "if you were single, I would totally hit on you." And he told me that if I did get divorced he didn't think it would be long before I found someone else.

And here I am telling him about my H and what's going on and he continually tells me that I should just end it. Well, I wonder why he thinks that...

I sent him a message today that I couldn't do what I was doing anymore. I had to be true to myself. I felt like by hanging out with him I was being a hypocrite and I realize now that I don't want to put myself in any kind of situation that could potentially get really complicated. My life is complicated enough.

He was very nice and cordial and wished me the best. I felt like I had the biggest weight lifted off my shoulders. I'm really starting to do things for me and it feels really good.


Me: 32 H: 32
M 9 yrs
#1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2
Bomb 8/12/11
H moved out 8/14/11
PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12
Got my own place 8/25/12
H & OW move in together 9/15/12
Still married.


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Good for you JKS, that was a very mature thing to do. I'm sure it was difficult, but you rose above. Be proud of yourself today!

Accuray


Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015
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Jks you continue to impress me as I read your progressing thread. Your maturity and strength and determination to be true to yourself is so inspiring.


You are in my thoughts always.

((()))


TPS
Me: 44 H: 42
M14 T17
S10 D7
10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month
21/04/12 H is 'DONE'
04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010)
July '14 H ends affair
May '15 H moves back home
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That does show maturity.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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I've been reading "Codependent No More" today and just wanted to share something that stood out to me...

Worrying about other people and problems doesn't help. It doesn't solve problems, it doesn't help other people, and it doesn't help us. It is wasted energy.

"If you believe that feeling bad or worrying long enough will change a fact, then you are residing on another planet with a different reality system." -Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Worrying and obsessing keep us so tangled in our heads we can't solve our problems. Whenever we become attached in these ways to someone or something, we become detached from ourselves. We lose touch with ourselves. We forfeit our power and ability to think, feel, act, and take care of ourselves. We lose control.


Pretty powerful stuff here. And so true.


Me: 32 H: 32
M 9 yrs
#1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2
Bomb 8/12/11
H moved out 8/14/11
PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12
Got my own place 8/25/12
H & OW move in together 9/15/12
Still married.


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^^I think I posted at least 2 of these passages in my thread while I was reading that book. smile

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Wow you should be really really proud of yourself!!! That is maturity and growth recognizing a situation and making a decision that's best for you! I'm so happy for you!

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Oh I feel a bit sorry for my H as well he isn't learning he isn't growing and I honestly feel like if he ever does regret us he won't do anything about it.

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Nothing new going on here. H and I continue to text every once in a while about "business" matters only. He's always very nice.

When he got paid this last Thursday, I decided I wasn't going to ask him to transfer anything in to our joint acct. And he surprised me. He transferred a generous amount all on his own.

I have no idea what he's been doing, if he's been spending time with OW or not. I don't ask anymore and I don't want to know.

I feel like things are starting to change from within me. I can guarantee that a year ago I would never have been able to say "I like myself." But right now I really do. This is huge. I haven't felt this way about myself in a long time.

I'm realizing that taking my time with everything is actually really good for me. No more rash decisions. I'm seeing more and more that answers are coming to me little by little. This is a VERY gradual process. And for anyone thinking they just want a quick fix, you are in for a rude awakening. There is nothing quick about this.

However, this is probably the most I've ever grown and I am grateful for the experience everyday. I'm happy. I'm really happy.


Me: 32 H: 32
M 9 yrs
#1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2
Bomb 8/12/11
H moved out 8/14/11
PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12
Got my own place 8/25/12
H & OW move in together 9/15/12
Still married.


Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
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^^^That seems to be going around! Great, isn't it?


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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