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Joined: Jan 2003
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kml Offline
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Abbey -

First of all - hope you have a great trip to Palm Springs.

Second of all - what's your game plan? Have you decided to just keep waiting out this affair? Or do you have some other endpoint or bottom line?

Joined: Feb 2011
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Thanks KML..nice to hear from you. I know I should have a plan. I keep thinking that once her house is done (it will be awhile...at least thru the summer) then he won't have reason to see her. But honestly, I am kidding myself. I have learned over all of this time that I have no control over him or what he does.

When I concentrate on me, and making myself the best person that I can be, I feel better. It lasts for awhile...but then these doubts always creep in. I can honestly say that there is not a single day or night that passes were I don't think about their R and what exactly it is.

Argh! Feel stuck. Everytime I ask if he is helping her with her project he denies. I don't want him to know that I pull up the public website to check the inspection schedule and see his name and phone number as the contact for each new inspection (one just completed last Monday). In the past when I have confronted him, it always turns out badly. He denies, makes me seem paranoid, he tells me that I always think that he's doing something other than what he tells me he's doing. But he is. A fact. Then he won't speak to me for a couple of days. I am just not sure what to say or do anymore.

Will probably try to have a phone chat with one of the DB counselors again. Always feel better after talking with her.
So for now that is my short term plan.

Money has been very very tight. It kills me that he is giving free construction management services to OW. Typically he would charge at least $4k and upwards per month for this type of service provided. We could really use that $$ with 2 kids in college. He typically has two paying projects at once. Now we only have one paying project so we've had to dip into 401k savings for the last year!!!

Sorry....just venting. Anyway, headed off for work. Hope you have a good day!


Me - 49
H - 56
S - 23
D - 20
Married 25 years
H moved out 10/11/13
H moved back in 10/13/13
H moved out again 8/1/14
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