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I'd like to thank all the good folks on this forum - not sure I would be in the place I am today without you all. It's not where I expected to be in life, but I am doing my best to be the best father I can be. GAL will come as work dies down a little...


Peter, at the end of the day, you play your best hand with the cards you are dealt and know that a bigger and better hand is just one shuffle and deal away.

Keep your focus on you and your kids and one day great things will happen for you. Of that I am sure!

Take care!


Me51 W53 S17 S14
M22 T25
Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11

It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.

Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
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How u doing buddy???


M 53
D 20
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden





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Hi everyone -

I guess I'm doing fine, been divorced over 2 months now.
Still have problems completely detaching (how can I say that when I'm divorced).

Work is still very busy - so I've not needed to fill the void with other activities - I still play soccer and golf when I can but haven't met any new people or started new activities.

I am seeing a lot of the girls which is great - my Ex has been very good about me seeing the girls in her time and switching times when I have an event.

Ex is still cordial but business like. I dropped the girls off yesterday - she chatted to D7 about the weekend while I was unloading the car. The only comment to me was "where are the checks" - meaning child / spousal support, I couldn't help myself - I just shook my head and said they are in the bags. Yes I know, I should have just smiled and explained where they were.

I partially signed up for a dating site (never completed the profile) - did a search locally and saw my Ex was on there. Her A is obviously over - she told a mutual friend that she is "heart-broken", our friend said that it's never too late - she said it wasn't about me, it was about her boyfriend. Really didn't need to hear that - but I guess my friend was trying to help me move on.

So all in all - I think about her less every day, I still wish I was married - but that will gradually go. In the meantime - keep myself busy and find myself a new lady friend grin

Peace everyone.


M47
W45
D10 (Has CP)
D7
M12 T14
ILYBINILWY 5/1/11
Asked for seperation 5/10/11
Seriously DBing 7/1/11
W admitted to 2 EA's on 11/3/11.
Evidence of PA 11/5/11 - Definite evidence of PA 11/20/11
D - Final 7/11/12
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You are doing the best you can with the cards you have. Good for you.

It's hard not to hate them for doing this to the kids.

You are so blessed to have two beautiful girls. Enjoy every moment with them. They are lucky to have you for a dad.


----
M 39
H 35
D5,D4
M 4
T 9
ILYBNILWY 5/18/11
Left 7/11/11
Divorced 12/1/13

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Hi folks - no real updates..

Ex and I communicate about the girls but that's about it. Work is very hectic, but that should end after this week - I have a trip planned to Vegas next weekend, so will be golfing / gambling and having a couple of drinks with two of my best friends.

Today is my wedding anniversary, I so wanted to send an email to my Ex acknowleding the date but need someone to talk me out of it.

Peace everyone.


M47
W45
D10 (Has CP)
D7
M12 T14
ILYBINILWY 5/1/11
Asked for seperation 5/10/11
Seriously DBing 7/1/11
W admitted to 2 EA's on 11/3/11.
Evidence of PA 11/5/11 - Definite evidence of PA 11/20/11
D - Final 7/11/12
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 142
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I am still fairly new to this and to solving major relationship issues. I have read your posts from the beginning and in place of some great worldly advice, which I am sure a vet will provide on here, I can only offer an opinion and support.

I am sorry you have gone through all of this but I admire your dedication and love for your children. I can relate even if our situations are different.

My gut reaction is that acknowledging the wedding anniversary means more to you than it does to her. Not sure why I would put it out there at this point. I understand why you are asking and struggling but I am not inclined to offer it up to her.

I wish you the best, will pray for you and your family and will continue to follow your journey.


M:44
W:41
M: 12 yrs
W's EA began 3/12
Somewhere between WAW and MLC
Still in same house
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Don't but then you knew that.

And I understand the wanting to.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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Well folks - it's been around 6 months since I last posted on here. Thought I would give a short update.

Ex and I are still cordial - we get along fine but don't communicate unless it's about the girls. I see the girls a lot, which is great - she asks me to take them as she needs to work and her family isn't able to help her as they did initially.

One of my biggest concerns was staying active in my girls lives - I'm happy to say I am more active than I ever was. I have started dating someone (it's been 3 months) - and we get along great, we're at the stage where we may meet each other's children casually at an event we both attend.

I wanted everyone to know that despite the dark days, you will come out of this whatever the outcome. I didn't want the D and I would have done whatever it took to have prevented it. But those weren't the cards I was dealt.

I wish everyone all the success and happiness in the world. I just wanted to say that however dark it looks today, there will be better days - whatever the outcome.

Peace everyone.


M47
W45
D10 (Has CP)
D7
M12 T14
ILYBINILWY 5/1/11
Asked for seperation 5/10/11
Seriously DBing 7/1/11
W admitted to 2 EA's on 11/3/11.
Evidence of PA 11/5/11 - Definite evidence of PA 11/20/11
D - Final 7/11/12
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,502
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Wow great to hear from you and VERY GLAD things are going well -- that's something to inspire all of us, your sitch was very hard for very long. I'm glad you've found happiness. Where did you meet your girlfriend?


Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015
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Posts: 1,711
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Hi Peter! I'm really glad to hear you are doing well and happy that you make the time to check in every once in awhile. People are inspired by your story and your resilience. Keep plugging away.

Take care!


Me51 W53 S17 S14
M22 T25
Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11

It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.

Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
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