^^^Amen. And so thankful the voice saying that is so much louder than it use to be!! (my internal voice that is, not you though I appreciate the reminders! )
Me:45, W:45 S:16 D:13 M:22, T:25 Bomb: July 2010 Putting finances in order for "D" Continue to live in same home-separate rooms
SAIS - How have things been post-mother's day for you? Are you seeing any of the positives continue?
They have remained positive. We have been communicating a little more frequently, she is making more eye contact, and their is just a much different more positive energy coming from her towards me.
My thought process is very similar to yours in not escalating anything and simply mirroring her. It is very enjoyable but their are also concerns.
I was starting to get to a point where every now and then I would envision a life w/o being m to her and would find myself excited about the future posibilities. I had not ever experienced this before and it was a little confusing.
I think that our WAS can sense when we have truly let them go and only then can they be free enough to choose to re-engage.
On one hand I sense my w may have realized that I may not wait around forever and she may be open to the possibility of re-engaging to see where it leads.
And on the other hand, I could strictly be in "The Friend Zone". Maybe that is whats best for us and our kids but I still hope for more.
My focus now is to continue to be positive but also be very aware of not letting her actions (now more positive) effect me too greatly.
I still want to remain moving on my path in becoming the person I want to become and this recent improved connection has halted some of that.
I think that our WAS can sense when we have truly let them go and only then can they be free enough to choose to re-engage.
I think you're so right about this! I feel like when I was starting to think about life w/o H, that is was about the same time that he started to come around.
Even just a few days ago he said "I feel like if I left today, you'd be just fine without me." I don't want to "need" him and want to be "just fine" on my own, because things are still very shaky. But at the same time, he wants to be needed. So, I need to figure out how to make him feel "needed".
ces, do you have any more "slow but steady" to share with us? I assume no news is good news.
What has been going on?
- All for the kids - Me:34, W:35 M:7, T:13 S6, D3 + my D15 from previous marriage July 2011 "I think I need a separation" W filed D September Currently living apart - she has the house, I rent a room
I think that our WAS can sense when we have truly let them go and only then can they be free enough to choose to re-engage.
I think you're so right about this! I feel like when I was starting to think about life w/o H, that is was about the same time that he started to come around.
Even just a few days ago he said "I feel like if I left today, you'd be just fine without me." I don't want to "need" him and want to be "just fine" on my own, because things are still very shaky. But at the same time, he wants to be needed. So, I need to figure out how to make him feel "needed".
NH, I could have written this same thing. When you figure out, can you let ME know?
hey ces - catching up on your thread - i know i'm a little late, here, but so glad to hear that mother's day went so well. hope that things are improving slowly and steadily - it's a beautiful unfolding , and every little moment that happens, good or bad, is an integral part of it.
so as you go on in the next few days and months, i hope you can see that every part of it, even what seems negative, if it comes up, is all part of this beautiful thing that just has to unravel in it's own time
i am starting to see the beauty of it, finally now, and how it's all unavoidable and how we just have to go through every part of it. the bad is suddenly becoming as important as the good stuff - in the sense that they are both equal in how we can accept them - one isn't better or worse than the other - they are both there to teach us something.
that's something i read from Pema during the first months of my sitch, and maybe they have been in my sub conscious , waiting for me to be ready to really start to understand them.
it's a beautiful day here, and i hope that you are having the same kind where you are
zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
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