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jack-

lmao..you crack me up. i dont mow the yard for her. really i dont give a sh!t if she likes it. i mow it so my kids have somewhere to play. she will be mowing it by herself for a month while i am in jail. if she can start it..lol. plus its in our sep agreement. i am upholding my end, no matter what. consistency, right?

and you are right, it is a minefield. i need to learn the art of STFU. badly. lol.. she called last night and i did pretty good at it. she is going to do what she wants. i get it. i can only lend a hand when it is asked for, and if i feel like it.


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so tonight was interesting. i picked my S up a little early today and bought him a baseball jersey he had been wanting. it was at a 2nd hand store, but like brand new. he really likes it. on the way t get D he tells me he is really mad at mom. took me by surprise. i asked him why. he told me he doesnt like her talking to other guys. "its not right dad". i told him it is okay to be mad. remember how much mom loves you. "i know dad. it makes me sad to. i dont want a new dad. i love you". while that makes me feel good, i had to be the parent. told him it ok to be sad, and i will always be his dad. i will always be there for him.

so we came home and played some baseball. my D cracks me up. wears the glove on the wrong hand, runs around crazy. so funny. W came to watch the kids, so i could go to a meeting. showed up 5 mins before it started. i expected it, wasnt mad and just left. when i got home, she was at the table with D. S was playin Xbox. W said he is really mad at me. he wont talk to me. i said i know. she asked why and i told her she should try to talk to him. then D wanted to go for a walk around the block. W asked if i would like to go with. so i did. she talked about my D's eval tomorrow. she is a little behind where she is supposed to be. we came home and D asked her to read a story. while she was doing that, my sponsor called. wanted to stop by. i said come on over. I told W i had company coming over and she could stay if she wanted. i didnt care. she asked who. asked if he stayed married. i said yeah.

she left. came back about 2 mins later to tell me a store has a sale on beds. i dont have one. i said thanks for telling me. i just payed for hockey camp, so i dont have the money. told her to have a good night.

she is acting wierd. i dont trust her. she called the cops on me sunday, now being kinda nice. got my gaurd up.


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You're doing great. As the saying goes, STFU.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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So let me get this straight. You mow HER lawn and then she yells at you? Doesn't sound right. "she started crying telling me how she never wanted this, that i pushed her away. i a validated."

This you have to stop doing. You already did that time and time again. She's beginning to use that as an excuse for her bad behavior. That was actually a golden opportunity.

When she started going into how you pushed her away, etc. You should have stopped her and brought up the police issue and that you've already made and continuing to make amends and will not be treated like that any longer by her.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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i did say some things similar to that. after she was done going off. told her how i am changing for me. not her. i dont appreciate being treated like this and i am not putting up with it. she kept crying around about stuff. i let her get her feelings out. in all honesty i did push her away with my pursuit. that aside, im not putting up with her crap and i am learning to STFU when i want to say certain things. i am not going to be a jerk. i am going to be polite, yet firm.

she is getting her space and time. what she does with it is her choice. not my focus anymore. it is me time. my kids are benefiting greatly from it.


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Originally Posted By: Dakota
she asked why and i told her she should try to talk to him.


Not your job to repair the relationship between her and son

Your job not to damage it.

Why did you say this to her?

Were you using your son's words to teach a lesson?

Do you want her back because she feels guilty about son?

Do you think that will change her behavior?

How do you think she felt when you told her?


My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
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tg-

i told her none of what S said. not my place. their R is theirs, not mine. i am taking care of my S the best i know how. listenig to him and telling/showing him how much i love him.

i told her if she wants to know what is going on with him, she needs to talk to him. i do not want her back out of guilt. i would never put my S in the position of guilting mom. he loves her and i dont want that to stop. there is a special relationship between a mother and her child. i would do nothing to harm that. ever.

usually you are right on. not this time. maybe i wrote it bad. irregardless, i know what i did was right.


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Originally Posted By: Dakota
W said he is really mad at me. he wont talk to me. i said i know. she asked why and i told her she should try to talk to him.


I had to read it a couple of times to really get it.

I would have done the same thing you did.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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i see how i wrote it bad. i told her she, should try to talk to him. not what he said. at all. that is between them. my bad


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I agree you did the right thing. Don't know if you wrote it badly or I read it badly...

Sorry man.

Good call.


My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
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