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You sound like you're in a really really good place. I'm so happy for you. Remember there will be moments that you'll get angry again have moments of being resentful when you do come back and read this.
I'm really glad you found a bit of peace today. Like you I do more tearing up than crying and when I cried yesterday I didn't sob so that's good.
i understand how she can do things and feel things the way she does. i do not blame her. i dont agree, and thats okay. because i dont agree, doesnt make her feelings any less valid. they are hers to control as mine are mine.
my D lost my sons cellphone yesterday. they found it outside in the rain. she txt me they found it, and was mad that it was wet. we never put insurance on it and she was blaming me. didnt have rice and the kids were sleeping. i told her it is not my fault that it was in the rain, its not fair to be mad at me. do you want me to bring you rice or not? she said yes and i did. she was talking kind of nice to me, but her phone kept going off. it was 11pm. i dont know who it was, didnt ask, but i have my suspicions. she asked me to come in and look at the phone. i told her i had to get going, have a good night and i left. with a little bit of dignity.
didnt sleep good, having crazy dreams about her and OM. im so sick of that. i need to work out harder. then i am to tired to dream. i have to go over there and mow her lawn and pick up the kids. i need to watch my mouth. be happy i even get to see her. jack and truegritter said it. i need to act my way back into her heart. thats what i am going to do. as much as it hurts to see what is going on, i still have a chance. when i met her she had a boyfriend. i never once said anything bad about him. i was just me. and thats who she chose. i can do it again.
go back to the beginning. have a beginners mind. this is not easy, but we are worth it.
cuz im a sucker..lol. i didnt want my sons phone to be ruined. rice [censored] water out. thats how i am supposed to talk to him when she has him. i did want to see her, but i kept cool. if i can continue doing that i might have a chance. she asked me, i didnt initate. i left first. kinda wanted to test myself i guess.
yeah..rice is supposed to be able to get moisture out of the touchscreen. i idont know. thought it was worth the try. and it goes with being dad. gotta try to fix kids stuff all the time. i know OM wouldnt have brought her rice at 11. he's at home with his family. scumbag..