I think it might be throwing her for a loop that you are so controlled and calm and she's really confused and possibly testing that not realising. but that's all mind reading
I would suggest doing some googling on co-parenting. It is a difficult and stressful thing and like Bug said you guys may need to set a weekly time to go over things. Write out "the rules" and go over them together with the kids. Talk to her AWAY from the kids about what you want to discuss in front of them or away from them. Don't underestimate that kids sense a weakness and sometimes likes to test boundries and play parents off one another.
You probably need to think about your parenting relationship separate from your M relationship.
Do you want her to call you all the time about little stuff or would you rather when it's her time with the kids that she only contact you with emergencies.?
i would rather let her concentrate on the kids and enjoy her time with them. eventually i would like to talk more about the little stuff. not right now.
brit-
Originally Posted By: Brit45
I would suggest doing some googling on co-parenting. It is a difficult and stressful thing and like Bug said you guys may need to set a weekly time to go over things. Write out "the rules" and go over them together with the kids. Talk to her AWAY from the kids about what you want to discuss in front of them or away from them. Don't underestimate that kids sense a weakness and sometimes likes to test boundries and play parents off one another.
You probably need to think about your parenting relationship separate from your M relationship.
i have been thinking about this alot. we need to be on the same page. we were when we were together. not anymore i guess, so it needs to be figured out. i know kids test parents. they have tried with me and it hasnt worked. they know what i expect and they know what to expect from me. consistency. man thats a huge theme on my thread..lol.. she is not that way right now and i get it. she is concerened with her "life" and that takes time away from being there focused. thats what the kids need. she is a big girl, she will figure it out.
on a brighter note..today was a pretty good day. cried during my prayer for my marriage this morning. then had a few thoughts about OMen but pushed them aside. had a pretty good day at work. been awhile.
went to divorce care tonight. was on finances. i needed to hear that stuff. there was a new gal there tonight. she will be D in 2 months. she was very emotional. said it must be easy for us guys, we dont have emotions like women. normally i would have tuned her out, but i listened. then i told her a little about me. how i cry, hurt, am scared. dont want to do things. have good days, have bad days. have had to look at myself to figure out why i feel this way. kinda blew her away. she apologized and i told her, im not mad..i said this stuff to let you know, man or woman we all go through it. you are not alone. she said thank you and meant it. that feels good when some says thank you and means it. for no other reason than being myself. i didnt try to please her or be nice. didnt have to do a favor or expect it. i was just me.
after group, i had a txt from my W. asking what my plans for the week are because we need to split the kids clothes up. she has pretty much all of them. i called her and asked to speak to the kids. talked to them, let them knew daddy loves them. then she wanted to find out when i would have time. i said tomorrow night might work. let me know. told her to have a good night and hung up. i did all this sounding happy. i kind of felt happy to. i like talking to her without arguing. its nice. i gotta keep it short right now, because that is all i can handle.
all in all one of my better days in a long time. i am so glad to have this board and the support i find here. thank you everyone. gonna have to start a new thread..lol
