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verab-

there is no worries about her family. none of us have family here. she has went a couple times with me, but not anymore. i invited her to go, got no response. not that it changed my plans at all. i go regardless of who goes with me. it is something i enjoy. i am glad i went today. got the peace feeling i go for. sermon was good. it was about choosing to stay in the pit of despair or not. wierd how it seems like these are meant for me.

i like this church. it is beautiful. the father speaks in a way that i really like. i feel at peace there. it does not matter to me who goes or who doesnt. i would love to go as a family. thats not in the cards right now and i am okay with that. i go for myself anyway


m:31 W:32
M:8 T:11
S:10
D:5
Bomb:1/07/12
Separated:4/23/12
Divorced: 12/12/12

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Posts: 90
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I didn't go to church today...I did do laundry, worked out for 2 hours and washed and vacuumed my car. I consider that a victory!! Now, I'm watching my Indians play the Marlins on TV...great day...windows open, cool outside...love it!

I didn't go to church because I found out that my Ws cousin was in town from Hawaii with their new baby and the whole family was going to be there for the baptism. I actually talked to W this morning about taking the kids out of town next week, and she told me about the baptism. I didn't tell her I was planning on going to church now...I just figured it was going to be too stressful for her if I was there. So I CHOSE not to go and let them have their day...I'll go next week. I'm not too concerned about her family either verab...you're right though, if I want to go than DA$@IT I'm going. laugh


Me:44, W: 39
D:16, D:14, D:11(special needs)
M:17, T:21+
Bomb:3/18/12
W contacted mediator for D:3/27/12
Separate since bomb
Mediation, signed agreement 5/17/12
No talk of D since mediation
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so today sucked. W came over and i looked at her phone. dumb choice i know. there is 2 OM's now. one is talking very dirty to her and she to him. whatever. i told her i am not going to live like this. i said calmly. she didnt like it and thats fine. there was no crying from me. she kept saying she wants space to work on her and doesnt want a divorce. i asked why. "cuz maybe we can be a family again". i think she is manipulating me. i told her i would hold up my end of the separation agreement, but she has to do her part. i told her when i get out of jail i want proof she is not talking to OM's. i mowed her lawn and left, per the agreement.

i am not going to cry around about this. i expected it. now i know. going to keep working on myself.

Operation going dark starts now.


m:31 W:32
M:8 T:11
S:10
D:5
Bomb:1/07/12
Separated:4/23/12
Divorced: 12/12/12

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Posts: 714
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talked to my sponsor. im glad i did


m:31 W:32
M:8 T:11
S:10
D:5
Bomb:1/07/12
Separated:4/23/12
Divorced: 12/12/12

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
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Me, too.

Gee, I'm gone for a couple of days and missed a lot.

How you feeling?


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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bug-

lol...im okay i guess. kind of numb right now. i told my W i was done playing these games. if she wants other men, fine. i want a D. she cried and yelled and all that. i felt just sad. no tears, no anger. numb. still am. i am happy i made the decision to move on. with or without her, i will be happy. sponsor had some good insight. he sounded alot like you. =)


m:31 W:32
M:8 T:11
S:10
D:5
Bomb:1/07/12
Separated:4/23/12
Divorced: 12/12/12

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Posts: 1,711
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As you said in a previous post - now you go dark! And the time you are incarcerated will actually help you tremendously in that regard.

Stay strong!


Me51 W53 S17 S14
M22 T25
Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11

It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.

Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
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2-

yes. i also believe it will. she said it is nice to be wanted. meaning OM. i told her i want her, always have. guess im not what she wants right now. im okay with that. i dont know if i can be with her anymore


m:31 W:32
M:8 T:11
S:10
D:5
Bomb:1/07/12
Separated:4/23/12
Divorced: 12/12/12

Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,711
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Check out this thread. Go specifically to post "#1724961 - 02/26/09 04:06 PM" and see if you can't possibly find some inspiration.


Me51 W53 S17 S14
M22 T25
Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11

It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.

Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 714
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2-

wow..wow.. that is inspiring. i to feel that way. i feel like i took back some self respect today. i am moving on. maybe being the WAS..lol. thats a joke. i am not putting up with crap behavior anymore. i have been pushed to far. i am done pushing back. i am moving out of the way. like judo..lol. her path is hers, mine is mine


m:31 W:32
M:8 T:11
S:10
D:5
Bomb:1/07/12
Separated:4/23/12
Divorced: 12/12/12

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