Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 11 of 12 1 2 9 10 11 12
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 254
H
hrm134 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 254
T thanks so much for the cyber hug, I greatly appreciate it! And there u go again making me laugh! Amsterdam probably a baad idea. LOL

I know what you mean about the temptations.... In fact I decided not to go with the tea earlier, a dear friend texted me and got me out of the house... At this moment we are sitting in my driveway, quite intoxicated, grilling, and smoking my first cigar! LOL hey I'm getting a life.....

Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 2,609
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 2,609
LOL, enjoy!!! You deserve it!

There is so much life and happiness to be had right in front of us...wish spouses would pick up on that fact...meh, oh well...

Time for some South Park to remind me that absurdity really is funny...


In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus

Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm

Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 254
H
hrm134 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 254
Thanks T I'll drink 1 (or 2..... Or 3 for u.....lol). Enjoy your South Park laugh it up!! Life's short enjoy the little things. smile

Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
job Offline
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
hrm,
Sorry to hear that you aren't feeling well.

About the hose, dry putting it back on the rack while it is still full of water. I know this sounds crazy, but it's worked for me and it's nice and tidy that way. Once you cut the water off, you can spray out the rest and your hose will remain the way you put it on the rack. So many of the hoses have nylon in them and not enough of the good old "rubber".

I do hope that you are feeling better soon. Get plenty of rest and drink lots of fluids!


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 254
H
hrm134 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 254
Snodderly thanks for the tip for the hose, I will try that after I water my garden today! I don't know how much rest I am gonna get, but I drink water constantly, so I should be good there... Gotta mow the grass again.... gee it would be nice if someone else took a turn doing that.... but I guess why would you mow a yard you are planning on leaving? Who knows. I'm done trying to figure out crazy. smile On the up side I can almost talk again!

So I've been thinking, and I think part of why I'm stuck being annoyed/frustrated with dear one is due to someone my friend told me about recently. My friend works in a nursing home and she had a very young resident there (in his 50s), he's battled cancer most of his life and he had told her all he wanted to do in life was fall in love, get married, and be able to sleep in bed next to his wife..... well this man passed away earlier in the week, and he never got to do ANY of that.... His passing really affected my friend, I never met the man but it made me cry to hear that... how sad.... how sad that things a lot of people (MLCers) take for granted should be enjoyed to the fullest because not everyone gets even that simple happiness...... My friend did a good job of not yelling at my H, she is sooooo upset with him, more so since this residents passing.... She wants to tell him to stop thinking the grass is greener somewhere else, because it isn't, enjoy everything you have because your life isn't that bad, enjoy your wife and the fact you have one cause not everyone gets that! That's all this resident wanted from life and he couldn't have it because he was busy fighting for his life! So at least she yelled at me what she would have liked to yell at him. lol

I try to keep telling myself he is really hurting and confused on the inside and isn't as happy as he is pretending to be, but it's hard to keep thinking that when he tries so hard to make it seem like he's great without me in any part of his life..... my empathy tank is running low......

Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 254
H
hrm134 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 254
Ok.... so God and his divine timing are wonderful and funny (strange funny, not haha funny) sometimes. I didn't go to church the past 2 Sundays, I went today, and the Sermon's title.... "Waiting on God." Wow.... how very, very appropriate for me and obvious, cause God knows I'm not so great with subtle(well sometimes anyway)! lol It was all about waiting in patience for God's timing, plan and mission...... so... um... yeah.... I guess I should take the hint! lol I about started laughing in the middle of the sermon when the Pastor said this line, "We need to trust the Spirit and wait in Him instead of always having to control." He also said, "Joy comes in waiting." It's like today's sermon was written for me! God always knows what we need..... today's sermon helped me get back to my happy place. smile

So news on the home front. When I got home from church H was on the couch watching tv and I saw him keep looking at me.... strange.... I looked over at him and he said, "wow!" I said, "What? I take it you like my new outfit..." He said he definitely did.... I went back to "my" room and started putting my laundry away, he came back and asked if I needed help getting out of my new outfit.... and well you all know where this goes.... so after he actually laid in bed with me for a few minutes instead of retreating back to the tv or "his" room right away. He made a comment again about what I had been wearing, and he said my church should have a dress code. I said I don't know if you meant that as a compliment or an insult, but I'm taking it as a compliment. He said that's what he meant it as, and apologized I thought he could mean it another way. I told him it's ok, I was just messing with him.

Then while I was in the bathroom pulling up my hair he came in and said, "I don't want to get into any discussions today but I just wanted to say I really appreciate how you have been through all of this. I know we have had some conversations (I'm guessing he means the ones where he insists on a divorce and I insist on no, but point out he has the choice to leave)." I said, "I have always appreciated and respected you." He said," I hope when all of this is over we can still be friends." So instead of going into panic mode or getting upset with him for insinuating he is still leaving I said, "I guess we will cross that bridge when we get there." He said yeah as I turned back around to finish with my hair. He came back a few minutes later to see if I needed anything from the store because he was headed out in a few minutes (this is the first time in MONTHS he's told me exactly where he is going), I asked him to pick up some paper towels. He asked if there was anything else, I said no. He started on his I drank such and such of yours I'll replace it. I stuck with the that's not necessary response.

Later, when I got home from the gym he was watching the shooting DVD's I had gotten him for his birthday. He wanted to pay me for them. I told him absolutely not they were a gift. I asked him how shooting was going, he said well, and he actually told me about the Las Vegas trip in October. Apparently he's going for 2 weeks. I congratulated him and said I was kinda jealous, it sounds like fun. He laughed and said something about yeah sweating my butt off in the desert! I said you will enjoy every minute of it. Then he went back to watching his DVD.

Some things I've noticed.... his hair brush is back in the bathroom (it's been in his room for months, along with other bathroomish stuff), his toothbrush is now lying right next to the toothbrush holder as opposed to the whole way on the other side of the counter. When I asked him if he wanted some old shirts that are now too big for me (yea go me!) for rags he said, "yeah throw them in the doorway of the room." He said the room and not my room... so that's different....He also left his door open when he left today.

I know, I know, don't read into stuff and I'm not, just trying to look at even the smallest positive. smile It's nice to get a glimpse of the old H, the caring, fun one.....who knows what is going to happen, but I still have hope....

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 4,060
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 4,060
I also got the message for patience from Heavenly Father. Seven years later .....


Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed.
D35,S/D twins28,D22
EA4/04 End? Who knows?
"Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 2,609
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 2,609
Ahh, so you notice all those little things too... smile
So hard not to ascribe meaning...but still the urge to be Sherlock Holmes is always there at the surface for me....

It is funny how "messages" appear when we really seem to need it, my recent I-Ching on patience, things I run across on the internet or wherever, I keep seeing "Trust in the process of life" "Trust in the cycles of life" "Trust in yourself"...etc

Ok, I guess that means I have trust, patience and control issues still???

eek

smile

T^2


In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus

Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 11,646
J
Moderator
Offline
Moderator
J
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 11,646
Those little things...

Those we called them 'baby steps' once upon a time, and I do not like the term, or how people hang so much hope onto a ....smile.

It's a smile for God's sake. ; )

That being said, they are signs, they are ways to gauge if your changes are postive or negative.

So keep monitoring them, keep seeing the 'good' signs.

oh and one last thing?

Make a new thread please, every 100 or so posts. Thanks!



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 254
H
hrm134 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 254
T~ No, you are not the only one who notices those things and goes all psychoanalytical about it (FYI- the toothbrush is back to the other side of the sink today! lol) Trust, patience, and control issues are hard to conquer, I find slowly is the best way to deal with these. We are all works in progress. There is no such thing as perfect people. smile

Jack_Three_Beans~ I am aware that none of those things mean he has gotten aboard the clue train.... but a smile is better than being glared at like the enemy. I always have hope, ever the optimist I suppose.... whatever will be will be, but I will continue to hope and pray for the best. smile

Also I am well aware of the 100 post thing, after this one I will start a new one, I've seen some up to 115 so I thought I was safe, but thank you just the same for the reminder. smile

Page 11 of 12 1 2 9 10 11 12

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard