All the more reason for you not to contact her about things between you and H. A WAS doesn't want to feel pressured by anyone or feel like people are ganging up on them.
Very new here, but I am in very similar situation with what I feel is a WAW. Only a little over a year being married and she is telling me that she shouldn't have ever said she would marry me, we never should have gotten married(2 times)... long story. and that she has moved on already and just wants divorce. That because we have only been together for a little over two years, that we will both get over it soon, and two years isn't very long anyways. This is my marriage. We took our vows twice, and they are very important to me!
1702- just posted on your thread. Find the DB rules (sorry would find for you but it's too hard from my phone). I copied them into a document on my phone. Shared them with my sister (to help me stay on track) and read them every morning when I woke up and during hard moments.
Me-32 H-31 M-1yr, 9mos/T-6.5yrs No kids, 3 pets H estranged father passes away- 8/11 Bomb- 1/15/12 Began LRT- 4/1/12
So today I took the plunge and started gardening. I was going to hire someone but I can't afford it. Like you I have a black thumb. But thought I could weed out stuff from the shrubs and beds. and you know what? It was actually really good! I mean it felt good to get my hands dirty and pull out all the junk and then stand back and see it cleared. I started getting all philosophical about how it's just like DB'ing. haha anyway I just wanted to encourage you to have a go. I left my phone inside the house. Let the dog round around me while I did it and I felt really really calm.
Only 19 days more of school so I'll have more time in the summer to invest. I actually don't mind gardening bc I love to be outside. I think it's part I don't have the time and it's part anger that I am having to do it all alone and part fear that I'll have to give up my house because I can't do it all alone or afford it.
Anyone have good tips for working out the anger? I'm trying to rethink the way I think about things, to have empathy for my H but the anger keeps creeping in...
Me-32 H-31 M-1yr, 9mos/T-6.5yrs No kids, 3 pets H estranged father passes away- 8/11 Bomb- 1/15/12 Began LRT- 4/1/12
Glad I took your advice Brit and didn't contact his mom. When I got home today I noticed a lot of weed whacking had been done. I don't know when (and it makes me a little uncomfortable if he was here- did he come in the house? I like to make sure my books are hidden before he comes!) I'm sure it makes him feel better about himself when he steps up and does something than when I have to email him asking too.
He is staying here tomorrow night to take care of our cats while I go to my sister's (nephew graduates pre-school Wednesday but I didn't tell him why I wouldn't be home). Though he could have stopped in (as he drives past our exit on his commute) I gave him the option to stay at the house too and he chose to. I know they are only cats but they are our babies and I feel sad for him that he doesn't get to spend any time with them anymore.
He also emailed me asking if I had paid a bill, I responded thanking him for reminding me and that I paid it and he wrote back "cool", which was unnecessary and really the first time he has responded to anything when it hasn't been warranted.
My monthly "friend" is also visiting- which I think was why I was so emotional and angry the past few days towards him. Today I feel pretty calm. When we first started counseling the counselor suggested I get my hormone levels checked (H brought up that I was really emotional and b*tchy during my period but fine the rest of the month). I never did because then everything else started happening so fast but I think I am going to call about getting something to help me sleep and maybe I'll mention that too.
Me-32 H-31 M-1yr, 9mos/T-6.5yrs No kids, 3 pets H estranged father passes away- 8/11 Bomb- 1/15/12 Began LRT- 4/1/12
but I didn't tell him why I wouldn't be home). Though he could have stopped in (as he drives past our exit on his commute) I gave him the option to stay at the house too and he chose to. I know they are only cats but they are our babies and I feel sad for him that he doesn't get to spend any time with them anymore.