i know my emotions are leading me right now. that is why i havent made any decisions yet. my emotions will lead to a bad call on the sitch, i am sure.
my goal is not to feel betrayed the rest of my life. i am having a tough time coping with it right now. i dont know how to move past it. im a really working on forgiving her. that is a process, to be sure. this is a huge decision. it will affect my family for the rest of their lives. i dont want to make the wrong choice.
the only thing i can control is myself. im not doing to good of a job at that. i am not doing horrible either.
my goals are: -have my W invite me to do something with her. -to stop obsessing over what she is doing -to be in a good mood for a whole day -to treat my kids like the gifts of god they are -ignore the baiting comments my W makes -set healthy boundries and stick to them -continue my workouts -reach out to more people/ make friends -try something new (highland games) -remember how to play guitar -be in a good mood tomorrow with my W -get my W to laugh or smile
those are what i have now. still tryin to figure out how to get there
Without even knowing he DB'd the cr&p out of me. I had no idea what was going and I practically had a break down. Seriously I did. I had no idea what I was feeling or why. And then it was the hardest thing to admit to myself that I wasn't as set in my decision as I thought. I had spent so long convincing myself that there was no hope for this that when all these feelings started I didn't know what that meant.
I had convinced myself there was no hope because we were two different people. I felt like he was stuck in his ways, happy with being unhappy, and that's just who he was. When he started taking care of himself, getting into sports, doing things and not checking in with me, and then dating someone I reconsidered it all.
But I should stress none of this is a recipe. If you like control and many of us do then you want a simple formula to make it all go back to a good R. Life isn't like that.
the big difference is that he closed the door completely to me before he started becoming the person I was attracted to in the beginning.
