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I sometimes blur detachment with moving on. I really struggle with this. I fear renewing my lease for a year will show w I'm moving on but this place better for me long term and kids too. I really blur and confuse the 2

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Invited over for mothers day what to do

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My W told our neighbors the reason why she has not started divorce and/or obtained a lawyer was because I didn't want the cost of divorce. I never said that . So odd .only thing I said was don't wipe me out

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Well I went to Mothers day cookout. I had fun. Little but positive interactions with wife. Just joked a bit. Basically played with kids and cooked on grill the whole time. Then said good night.

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Are you ready for the next "cycle" this time?

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As ready as I ever can be. It will be my first opportunity to not react

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Definition of insanity doing the same things over and over and expecting different results. KD can clearly see the pattern in my relationship. I actually see it too. This weekend the "storm" is due and we have a TON of family activities. So I'm going to prepare myself for the "storm". Will not feed into it that is for sure.

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worked on triggers today with C. Deep breathing for in the moment anxiety episodes. Writing down triggers that generate my anxious thoughts.

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I know KD going to yell at me for this. But I always wondered why WAW won't pull trigger on D. She hasn't gotten a L since mediator. She tells neighbor Sat morning she wants a L and makes up some expense excuse. Same day she goes fishing with me and kids and invites me over for dinner after and then invites me Sun for Mothers Day. If I pursue one ounce she says all those things she does is just for the kids. (kids would not have missed me at mothers day)

Is WAW just confused or are WAW experts at stringing LBS along. Being in limbo is what (I) let generate 1/2 my anxiety. Notice I'm saying I LET. I know its just me letting my thoughts run wild. I've learned that today in counselor.

I do feel if me and W did counseling we could live under 1 roof from the things I've learned. I truly feel that way. Unfortunately she does not.

anyways hamster wheel spinning and greased up

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"I've learned that today in counselor."

You should have learned that 4 months ago when everyone was telling you that.

"anyways hamster wheel spinning and greased up"

You know it's easy to get off that wheel. You just don't want to.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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