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#2243281 - 05/06/12 07:01 PM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: MrBond]
Use to be Offline
Member

Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 108
I am not sure is she seeing someone else.

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#2243291 - 05/06/12 10:07 PM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: Use to be]
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Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 108
These few days I have been thinking, should I get out of this mess by being selfish?

I do not want the custody of our boy anymore, just let her mother handle everything since she is always thinking I am always not involve then let her be. I no longer want our boy and let her be the one that bring him up. Anyway I felt I have been used.

My boy is fated to be in a family with selfish parent. His mum who don't want to get him the family. His dad, who want to disown this son. Even I am involve with our child up bring, he will never even be close to me since he will eventually be bought up by them.

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#2243336 - 05/07/12 02:44 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: Use to be]
MrBond Online   content
Member

Registered: 06/18/08
Posts: 10388
If you choose to abandon your son like that, you are worse than your wife. You are having him raised with no father. YOU not her.

I have no respect for someone like that. In fact, no other woman would ever respect a man who abandons his child.

If you do that, you are a worthless human being. So you plan to not even pay for your own son or recognize him? That's not selfish. That's evil.
_________________________
M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

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#2243339 - 05/07/12 02:50 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: MrBond]
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Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 108
Yes I am damn evil. The child is fated to be this way. His mum don't want to give him a family and I am being blame for? I am fighting for the family and she was not been blame. WTF

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#2243340 - 05/07/12 02:55 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: Use to be]
Use to be Offline
Member

Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 108
I get the blame, I get screw by ppl. All fault lied in me???
She is the one who don't want to give our child a chance

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#2243341 - 05/07/12 02:56 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: Use to be]
MrBond Online   content
Member

Registered: 06/18/08
Posts: 10388
"The child is fated to be this way."

No he is not. You haven't even done any changing so it's YOU that is making his fate. You haven't taken any responsibility for what you have done. You are the one saying that you will abandon him. Not your wife. You keep saying that to yourself. So stop blaming your wife.

She didn't tell you to stay out of his life. You are saying that. And that makes you responsible.

"His mum don't want to give him a family and I am being blame for?"

Yes because you don't even understand what a family is. A family starts when a man and woman care for each other that they would do things to make the other one happy. You didn't do that. You didn't make your wife happy. So she left you. Simple as that.

You can't expect her to automatically go running back to you because you said you changed. She has no proof that you've changed. This takes time. A long time to correct the mistakes you made. It doesn't happen overnight.

But the biggest thing is your attitude. If you don't change that, you will lose everything. If your son fails it is because YOU, his father, didn't show him how to do the right thing because you threw him away like garbage. YOU not your wife.
_________________________
M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

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#2243343 - 05/07/12 04:32 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: MrBond]
Use to be Offline
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Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 108
I have not done any changing? You know what she told me, she said you use to not take care of our son, why are you doing it now? She ask me don't make use of the son.

I told her only last year that she has give birth to our son but she said that her son for herself.

If I have want to abandon him, I will have done it long ago but I have been continue being insulted by the bastard in her house. It his fate.

I did not care for her??? It is the care that I gave her that she cannot take it and left the family. I want to do thing to make both of us happy that time but she was never close and she never tell me what happen to discuss so changes can be made. When she is unhappy, she left me and I never know the reason until the lawyer letter have been serve.

I don't expect her to accept me immediately but she was never around and everytime I go to fetch my child, that bastard is there. He add negative things about me afterward. How can that help?

Now her dad is pointing finger at me saying I must be a difficult person to leave with. you mention my attitude. I know myself I have love her and I have treated her well. Things she want, I spend on her rather than myself. I get her one of the best hospital when she go for delivery of our child. I drive her to every gyne check out during those day. When she has a miscarriage, I am suffering as much as her. How can all of you point finger at me?

Now she want a divorce which mean spoilt GR family and she was happily working outside. She must have been enjoying life now. all according to her plan, and I am part of her plan to be used to take care of GR so she can still enjoy her life.

you never understand the torturing proceed i have to go through. I am sitting now with my lawyer last week. I asked my lawyer can we don't put this sentence in and he said you have to in order to defend the divorce. You know how hurt and stressful it is?

Whenever my boy see me, he smile and crawl toward me. He know i am bring him out and he is very happy. But do you know how I feel? This is not the kind of family he is support to be in.

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#2243345 - 05/07/12 06:43 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: Use to be]
MrBond Online   content
Member

Registered: 06/18/08
Posts: 10388
Yes I know how you feel so stop asking. You make it sound like you're the only person who has ever been through this. Everyone on this site has gone through what you have. Many people here have had problems with their in-laws. Many people here have problems with their wives and husbands leaving them. All of the people who write here, had their husbands or wives tell them that they were no good even though they never told them what was wrong.

The difference between us and you is that you don't want to move on from being hurt. You read Divorce Busting but you don't understand it. You have to become a better person. It doesn't matter if your father-in-law hates you. Your only responsibility is to your wife and your son. But you let your hate overwhelm you. You tell me that you have it rough and that no one understands.

WTF. We all went through what you did. You complain, complain, complain.

I have 2 children affected by this. My youngest was just born when my wife left. And my wife cheated on me with her boss. And my mother-in-law hated me. And I had the police called on me for things that weren't true. And her boss tried to get me fired to try and cover up his affair.

I've had it worse than you. The difference is that I didn't let that hold me down. I waited 2 years before my wife started talking to me. It has now been 4 years and during this time I learned, I read, I grow, I understand. Today my wife and I are reconciling, my children are happy, and my life is happy.

I went through everything you went through. So don't say I don't understand. It's disgusting. You want to get your family back together? Learn to grow up. Go back and read divorce busting and really understand what it's all about. Go to a psychologist who will help you understand what you are going through and get healthy mentally and emotionally.

If you can't afford a psychologist, then go and speak to a priest or a monk to get advice.

You have to put all of your hurt feelings aside for now and get your wife back. There is plenty of time to deal with your emotions after you get back together. It's not easy.

So the question is, do you want your family together or not? If you do, then you have to do the work. If you don't, then sign the divorce papers and run away. You will be no better than your wife.
_________________________
M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

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#2243489 - 05/07/12 08:35 PM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: MrBond]
Use to be Offline
Member

Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 108
Have u already reconcile with your wife? I thought you say haven't the other day?

U know, talking about the divorce letter this is that one thing I hate most. I am defending against it and I doing the right thing?

Finally, in my heart I really do not want to abandon my boy. He is lovely but I don't know how long I can take up these stress

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#2243498 - 05/07/12 09:27 PM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: Use to be]
MrBond Online   content
Member

Registered: 06/18/08
Posts: 10388
"He is lovely but I don't know how long I can take up these stress"

Why do you keep saying that you have to abandon him? Even if you divorce, he is still your son and you have a responsibility to take care of him.

WTF, are you a girl that your feelings are more important than your son's life?
_________________________
M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

Top
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