My W brought my S over last night. It was probably one of the most interesting interactions we've had in a awhile. She was probably at my house for 20-30 minutes. She came alone - it she hadn't, it would have drastically shortened the time she was there. It was kind of interesting, too, that she never set foot inside the house. I didn't invite her in, either.
We did discuss a few minor topics during that time. She mentioned my S had indicated he was feeling like he wasn't getting enough time with her. We talked about some potential remedies. I had to ask her the status of her getting her tax information to H&R Block. She said she had finally received a missing W2 in the mail and she'd take care of it this week. I needed to switch weekends with her for my S so we talked through that. We also talked about setting up my S in some summer camps.
We had some other small talk as well. I think some of it revolved around what I have going on in my life right now, particularly through my church. I still wonder if she still doesn't know what to think about the changes in my social life. I wonder if she's still unsure of what to believe.
At one point during our conversation she indirectly paid me a compliment on how I was dressed. (What she didn't know is I had gone out for a 3 mile run prior to her getting there and had showered and put the clothes back on I had worn to church) IN particular, she complimented the jeans I was wearing.
The biggest downer was at one point in our conversation was that she dropped the L bomb. She said that for some reason the L was wanting to meet with her this week. I ignored the comment and just continued the conversation. I think I've noticed a pattern here - she drops the L bomb any time either we're having a decent conversation or we're exchanging money. It may just be coincidence. Or it may be because money is being exchanged and it reminds her. Or it may be something to reset herself back on her game plan. Who knows?
Depending on Ohio law, her attorney may want to talk to her about the case being dropped by the courts.
In Texas, they put cases on the dismissal docket after 6 months of inactivity I believe. Maybe your case is getting close to dismissal if it's been a while...? And maybe she'll let it expire...? That would be nice, wouldn't it?
Me: 43 W: 37 Together: 18 M: 15 D: 8 yrs old ILYBNILWY: March 2011 She Filed for D: August 2011 She moved out: Sept 1, 2011 Reconciled: May 2012 Divorce Case dropped: July 2012
Hello JB, Thanks for your post. Perhaps the L thing is an attempt by her to exert some power, or influence over the sitch. Maybe anytime she starts to find herself getting comfortable with you she has to remind herself to seize some control. Sounds like you are doing good. Keep it up!!
m 54 XW 48 m 12 t 14 bomb 6-11 s 10-11 wife moved to other state 10-21-11 d 9-12
O GOD THY SEA IS SO GREAT AND MY BOAT IS SO SMALL!
NTX, I don't think there's currently a case to drop. Maybe there is, and that would be nice. However, what I'd really like is for her to show some commitment to working on the M. So far she has not shown me anything close to that. The closest thing she's shown me is that wishes to remain friends.
gunny, that sounds plausible. She could be testing me or taking a temperature check, too. Who knows?
JB do you have a L? I would provide nothing yet. That is the usual info requested for a D or LS. But every state is different so I think you should consult at least. they are usuall free on 1st consult. praying for you man
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Take a deep breath, JB....this could be for any number of reasons, including taxes. I think responding with a simple Ok and getting it to her when you have time is sufficient.
Whatever reason she is asking for this information, you can handle it.
That's my 5 cents (nickel)....
Hang in there...and yep, go run or spin the stress off. Hugs, ncl
