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#2239001 - 04/19/12 01:33 AM Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce
Use to be Offline
Member

Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 108
Hi guys,

If you have read some of my post, you already know my wife has already file for a divorce. However, I am not giving up yet.

I am reading the Divorce Remedy right now and I am at this part title: It takes one to tango.

In fact my wife have been staying with my in law since Jan 2012 till today. But from DR, I am asked not to be discourage and make the most out of the interaction we have. I would say our interaction is limited to SMS or whatsapp right now and it always the discussion of our 1 year old boy. I am also asked to feature the best possible light of myself in these communication.

As I have limited idea how to do these, I would like to seek advice here on how to do that? Hope you guys can give me more idea.

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#2239272 - 04/19/12 07:52 PM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: Use to be]
KarenR Offline
Member

Registered: 04/12/06
Posts: 477
This is the exact information that your DB coach can give you. They are experts in helping you figure out the best thing to say and do when you have contact. You want to be sure that what you say and do gets a 'chink in the armor she has put up and that you don't push her any further away. There is a good deal on coaching now, so please call and I can get you in for Friday. Take care!
_________________________
Karen, Resource Coordinator
The Divorce Busting Center
303-444-7004
karen@divorcebusting.com

Give me a call if you'd like to schedule an appointment to speak with a Divorce Busting® Coach.

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#2239355 - 04/20/12 01:05 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: KarenR]
Use to be Offline
Member

Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 108
Hi KarenR,

I have try to call from Singapore but the number does not get through. How do I call from Singapore to Divorce Busting?

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#2239357 - 04/20/12 01:14 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: Use to be]
MrBond Offline
Member

Registered: 06/18/08
Posts: 11162
First of all, you have to stick to one thread. You keep opening up new posts and it's hard to follow you.

How much interaction do you have with your W? Going back to the original issue of you nagging her, maybe you need to learn how to show your concern a different way.

I understand that your intentions were okay, but she doesn't want to hear nagging. Have you read DR or DB? Learn to approach your W differently.
_________________________
M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

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#2239394 - 04/20/12 03:50 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: MrBond]
Use to be Offline
Member

Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 108
Hi MrBond,

Alright, I will stick to this thread, so sorry about that.

At the moment we have limited interaction. Once or twice a week and it is through Whatsapp or text messaging only. Discussion is always on our 1 year old boy. Example: if you bring him back in the weekend, what will you do? Remember to feed him milk and is time for him to sleep kind of things.

At this moment of time, I don't even have a chance to nag at her. I promise myself not to nag at her in future too. But the thing is our interaction is so limited and I do not know how to go on from here.

I am reading DR right now but it is hard to apply those strategy. As I read, the strategy looks to me that most of the time the trouble couple are still in contact. Things like cheerleading, focus on the problem free time etc. Without interaction, how do I proceed? I can't push the positive button when there is no interaction, even I make small changes how can she notice it?

I really hope to work towards reconciliation but I got to be enlighten somewhere. Hope you guys here can advise what should I do when I have minimum contact with her.

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#2239398 - 04/20/12 04:20 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: Use to be]
MrBond Offline
Member

Registered: 06/18/08
Posts: 11162
How often do you see your son? Is it possible for you two to do things together with him?
_________________________
M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

Top
#2239410 - 04/20/12 05:18 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: MrBond]
Use to be Offline
Member

Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 108
I only get to see my son on one day of the weekend.
She do not want face me and she do not want to do things together with me and my son. She prefer to bring our boy out herself and i take care of my boy myself.

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#2239429 - 04/20/12 10:50 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: Use to be]
MrBond Offline
Member

Registered: 06/18/08
Posts: 11162
Is it possible for you to see your son more than that? He needs a strong father figure right now. Stop feeling defenseless. Can you arrange for a 50/50 custody?
_________________________
M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

Top
#2239466 - 04/20/12 02:48 PM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: MrBond]
Use to be Offline
Member

Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 108
Originally Posted By: MrBond
Is it possible for you to see your son more than that? He needs a strong father figure right now. Stop feeling defenseless. Can you arrange for a 50/50 custody?


Hi MrBond,

Actually my spouse allow me to see him during the week day after office hour. That is to travel to her place and bring my boy down for a walk. The time limit is only an hour or so because by the time I off work, my boy is near sleeping time. I wish to go to her place too but my relationship with my father in law have turned sour.

I have asked her to let me bring him back on Friday night and bring him back on sat evening but she don't agree. He mention our boy is too young for me to handle alone. She do not want to come back and help up at our house too.

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#2239523 - 04/20/12 08:03 PM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: Use to be]
MrBond Offline
Member

Registered: 06/18/08
Posts: 11162
"I wish to go to her place too but my relationship with my father in law have turned sour."

So what? You're there to see your son. You can pick your son up and take him somewhere. It's your child, not his.

"I have asked her to let me bring him back on Friday night and bring him back on sat evening but she don't agree. He mention our boy is too young for me to handle alone."

Are you able to handle him alone? If so, then get the 50/50 time with your son. If she has an issue with it, get a lawyer involved to see what your rights are.

"She do not want to come back and help up at our house too."

That's her right. She doesn't need to help you and likewise you don't need her. Learn everything you can about parenting and children. Become the responsible parent.

Be the man that you want your son to become. Don't live in fear of your W.
_________________________
M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

Top
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