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scared I am going to suggest this to her today. I tried talking to her today on the phone about remaining friends and she got escalated with minutes. Hung up on me. Got bitter. etc..amazing how hurt she is and amazing how 2 weeks ago she was civil. She really bothered by me not accepting D. Saying that me saying this is not the path I want to take but respect her feelings on the decision annoys her. That i'm fighting d. I'm like I showed up at the meeting. I'm just voicing that this isn't what I want for us and the family. That pissed her off. Oh well. I do want to be friends with her but she doesn't

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Net,

Do you guys talk everyday? Would a few days apart maybe help?

SIW


M:39
W:38
S:12
D:8
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KD, 25, others? Im pretty sure mediation will not work. We can't even hold a civil conversation. I think its got to a point I might have to unleash the dogs like someone else said before. Mediation is 250% in the best interest of me, her, and kids if and only IF we can work stuff out. I told her to go visit some lawyers to see what was at stake. I also told her I was ready to use a L if she was unwilling to bend or continue to talk to me the way she does. Based on her up and down moods I can't see mediation working to well.

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Get a lawyer. She has continually shown that she can't talk to you in a civilized way. Make sure you have all the emails or correspondences that show her being irrational. You need them to back up your claim.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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I am so BURNT out from all this. I really just feel like taking the summer off and dealing with the D after. I am drained. She must be drained too. I wish we could just be friend and not rush into this D. Enjoy some natural vitamin D and deal with it another day.

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Time to go dark or dimmer than you are. Detach and limit your interactions to kids issues only. Give her and yourself plenty of breathing room!


Me51 W53 S17 S14
M22 T25
Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11

It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.

Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
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Yes I'm going as dim as i can get. Only talking kids stuff. If I get another invite to mediator then I know where we heading. Until then kids only.

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that ee.org site. I can't get anyone to get back to me on there

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Is holding on to hope considered not detaching

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Personally I don't think so, but I have struggled greatly in applying the DB principles until recently.

I think of it like this, most people would hope to win the lottery, but many opt to detach from it (no expectations) by not buying tickets.

My thought process is currently that despite the odds and writing on the wall, I still hold hope for reconciling with my W, and after a long 8 months of struggle finally feel like I am actually detaching. IMHO for what it's worth I feel one can be detaching and still have hope. If I were diagnosed with terminal cancer I would still have hope.


me 38
W 30
T 3
M in 05/2010
Separated 08/2011
Stephchildren (all hers) SS17, SS12, SD8
I filed 8/27, she countered I filed response 9/5
Anxiously waiting on the judge!
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