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JKS, sorry for delay. Life was getting in the way. smile

Your kids need a strong parent. I know it's hard when your oldest says things about OW.
That burns me up that your H would introduce OW to the kids so soon.

Glad to hear your praying and know that God has a bigger plan for you(us) down the road.

Start palnning things to do with the kids too. Kids always remember the fun times they had.


What have you been doing lately?


Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12
Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life!
“Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
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I was talking today with D6 about her camping trip and she was telling me who was there. She said that H's sister was there with a guy who she thinks is OW's boyfriend. She is so confused.

I will write more later...


Me: 32 H: 32
M 9 yrs
#1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2
Bomb 8/12/11
H moved out 8/14/11
PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12
Got my own place 8/25/12
H & OW move in together 9/15/12
Still married.


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Quote:
She said that H's sister was there with a guy who she thinks is OW's boyfriend. She is so confused.

mad


Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12
Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life!
“Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 623
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I spoke with H this morning when he dropped off my baby and told him how inappropriate it was for him to take the kids camping with OW. Btw, he wasn't even going to tell me he was taking them AND he never told me where they were going and when they were coming back. I freaked out on Sunday night because I hadn't heard anything from him and thought, wow, he really thinks this is ok? So I texted him and said, I am worried about the kids. I would like to know if they're ok. Please respond. He responded 15 min later and said they were fine and they're back and they were all asleep.

So I told him this morning that I have a right as their mother to know where he's taking them and for how long and if they got back ok. He said, you're right, that was wrong of me to do. When I told him about going with OW he said he didn't think it would be that big of deal because there was so many people there from work so he knew the kids wouldn't think anything of it. I said, I had no idea who went. For all I knew it was just him and OW. Why couldn't he have told me that? Does he realize that all I do is sit home wondering what the heck he's doing with my kids and OW? I told him either way, this is all too soon and he needs to slow it down a bit. My gosh, I just found out a little over a month ago that he was having a PA and now he's doing overnight camping trips with her and the kids?

I told him how would you feel if I had met someone and decided after a couple weeks that I was going to take the kids and go to Disneyland with him? It's a bit much. And I told him he is asking a lot of me right now.

I asked him if he was happy and he said, well, it's been awful. I said how come? He said because I'm splitting up my family and because I'm hurting you. I said is she worth all of this? He said he really gets along well with her and has a great connection with her. And I said but is she really worth it? You're choosing her over your family. He said, no, I'm not. I said, you are, because you don't get to see your kids weeks at a time some times. You have no idea where I'm going to live. I could end up marrying someone who lives out of state and I am most definitely taking my kids with me if that happens.

He said, you can't do that and I said, really? You're the one who left me. There is no way that you're taking my kids away from me. He has a PA and leaves me and expects that his kids are going to stay with him if I'm forced to move out of state? He is delusional.

I cannot believe this woman is just waiting around for him to get D and continuing this R with him. It is the most incredible thing I have ever witnessed.

I asked him if his family thought it was a little weird that he had her around so much and that they went camping together and he said, well, yeah... but there's not really anything they can do about it. He told me that his mom told him that she was super uncomfortable with the situation. (He's still living with his parents.) Glad someone said something. I was beginning to think that I was the only one who thought this was wrong.

I asked him if OW sleeps over at his parent's house and he said she did last night because he got called out for work from midnight until 6:00 in the morning and he wasn't sure if he was going to be home in time to take S4 to school. I said, well, you could have called his mother to come pick him up. (Wow, there's an idea!)

I also told him that he has completely lost his sense of right and wrong. All he cares about is moving on and having fun. And trying out his new R with his kids. Starting life with his "new" family. I know, I am the worst DB'er ever and probably shouldn't be in these forums. It is the hardest thing to sit by and watch your H openly have an affair and pretend like he's not married when you have three very small children with him and 10 years together. Not to mention the fact that our religion that we both believed in when we got married totally sees this as the 2nd worst sin in the world. It is serious stuff and he is trying to justify it every way he can.

I told him he should really think about this more. He said, I think about it everyday. And started to choke up. I know the man I married is somewhere in there... this woman is blinding him completely. It's almost like he has to try things out with her to make 100% sure that he's made the right decision. And he keeps telling himself that things will get better. (They are most definitely going to get worse before they get better, that's for sure.) Because there is no way that their lives are in reality right now.


Me: 32 H: 32
M 9 yrs
#1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2
Bomb 8/12/11
H moved out 8/14/11
PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12
Got my own place 8/25/12
H & OW move in together 9/15/12
Still married.


Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,910
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(((JKS)))

Your H sounds like mine. They are both delusional and in la la land. Living in some kind of fantasy world. Reality will set in sooner than later. You can be da** sure of that!!


AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
"No matter where you go, there you are"
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Btw, neither one of us has filed for D. We have no money and my L is a $3000 retainer just to file. This is going to be a very LONG process. I wonder if H even has a clue as to how much it is going to cost.


Me: 32 H: 32
M 9 yrs
#1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2
Bomb 8/12/11
H moved out 8/14/11
PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12
Got my own place 8/25/12
H & OW move in together 9/15/12
Still married.


Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,219
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^^^ i'm sure he doesn't. not having the money for the attorneys may be a blessing. it will allow the PA to burn out. speaking from experience, having your three young children around ALL THE TIME will really help to speed the end along!
just my two cents worth... ;-)


M:63
H:53
S:41, SS:28, SS:25, SD:23
M:15
T:16

Bomb:12/17/11, "I think we should go our separate ways."
H moves to his mother's house, 4/1/12
12/21/12: H moves back home, piecing

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Is it bad to say that I actually had a really good day today because of the fact that H said things have been awful? It kind of makes me relieved to know that he is somewhat miserable with his decision.


Me: 32 H: 32
M 9 yrs
#1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2
Bomb 8/12/11
H moved out 8/14/11
PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12
Got my own place 8/25/12
H & OW move in together 9/15/12
Still married.


Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,711
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Originally Posted By: jks
Btw, neither one of us has filed for D. We have no money and my L is a $3000 retainer just to file. This is going to be a very LONG process. I wonder if H even has a clue as to how much it is going to cost.


I agree with Scaredsilly above. Hang on, detach and go get yourself a life independent of your H. Use the time to better yourself and bide your time.

BTW - really sorry you are in sch a difficult sitch!


Me51 W53 S17 S14
M22 T25
Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11

It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.

Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
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I am so excited for you! It sounds like you made it an awesome, loving, family moment. My best friend is currently a "WAW", she filed in November. That is the thing that gets her, the thing she misses, those special family moments that can nay be shared between the 4 of you. Watching her journey, I see how much doubt there really is on their side. I asked her this weekend if she was 100% sure she wanted a D and she said that he is being such an a$$ and making her feel terrible that she is sure. He is always saying how can you do this to your children, etc. It makes her distance more. She told me that if he was doing what we all (the mighty DB'ers) do there is no way she could go through with it. So excited for you. I believe for you!

This quote was taken from brookelynbabe's thread. I am really seeing now that H could have some serious doubts that he's not willing to express. I do need to stop the begging and pleading.

I am not the one who needs to teach him a lesson. Life will do that for him.


Me: 32 H: 32
M 9 yrs
#1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2
Bomb 8/12/11
H moved out 8/14/11
PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12
Got my own place 8/25/12
H & OW move in together 9/15/12
Still married.


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