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Ouch- happened to me last year but with a stray cat. Infection travels fast so if you get any heat or redness or swelling head to the docs. They put me on antibiotics and I was good in a day but my dr said I was lucky I didn't wait. Good luck!


Me-32
H-31
M-1yr, 9mos/T-6.5yrs
No kids, 3 pets
H estranged father passes away- 8/11
Bomb- 1/15/12
Began LRT- 4/1/12
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Elevate the hand. Immobilize if you can. Get to the doctor ASAP in the morning - don't mess with puncture wounds on the hand.

Quote:
I also told him I planned on buying myself a house and that I didn't think it would be any of his business who stayed in that house with me. And he said he didn't want to be supporting some man.


Sadly, this is pretty standard. And I think it's part of the WAH handbook, to fear that somehow you are gonna hook up with some bum of a guy and he'll be somehow supporting the both of you.

It's irrational, but legally pretty standard. And it's a pain in the neck. I have a similar thing in my divorce agreement. And although I have no intentions of remarrying, for similar financial reasons - it kinda [censored] not to have the option to cohabit. (There is a standard, btw, of a certain number of nights a month - but I forget exactly how many. Maybe someone else can help with this?)

It's my understanding that it's not that you would automatically lose the alimony for cohabitating, but that the whole alimony question could be reviewed. Which, I suppose, if your boyfriend was a penniless bum, would mean your alimony would stay the same. But if your boyfriend made a decent income, there would be an argument that you no longer needed the alimony to maintain your standard of living.

And yes, it's not fair - my ex lives with his girlfriend. If you think it's really going to bother you, consider taking a lump sum of assets instead of the alimony. (Although it's such a big lump, it's not usually possible. Still - look into the options.)

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Hi Wendy! It just surprises me that the law doesn't see the amount of years a wife/SAHM/sometimes working of a long term marriage has put into it. Alimony is like a pension, to me, and one can do anything you like with a pension. Also, why would it be fair for a new bf or h to support you? It's not likely that you will be able to start a new family, and have that type of M. I agree if it's a short M of a few years, maybe under 12 years? What if your new M doesn't work out, then you not only have lost your alimony, but also any hope of having a decent one from the new M. Am I making sense here?

Gosh! This is so complicated for women. So unfair. I have no intention of allowing myself get into a man's clutches again. You lose yourself in the R, at least, I did.


Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed.
D35,S/D twins28,D22
EA4/04 End? Who knows?
"Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
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Oh, and to all the OW/OM who are sick enough to check out our go-to place for solace while we work through our pain. FU! We will prevail. While we will have worked on ourselves, and will live on with better viewpoints, and not have to go through the pain of wondering if our cheat partners are doing the same to us. We got the best of our spouses, now you can have the grit. Good-luck to you .... NOT!

Sorry, I'm quite mean about this sort of thing.


Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed.
D35,S/D twins28,D22
EA4/04 End? Who knows?
"Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
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I went to the lawyer and started the paperwork today. I've been suprisingly calm. The lawyer had to leave early, as he was having chest pains. So I need to go back in and finish going through numbers with him. I called later and he is following up with his doctor, so hopefully he will be okay. He did say we can be divorced by the end of July/early August.

I get sadder when I am around STBXH. Guess because he is so darn happy to be getting rid of me. I really don't see this living in the same house as anything but bad right now. And don't know what to do except keep leaving when I want to tell him off.

I just listened to that old song "Rose Garden". What a timely one that is for me.

My STBX just consulted with me about what he is watching on TV, and it seemed to me he wanted me to go in there and watch with him. And I'm just not gonna do it. I need to be alone, away fromm him and not part of him as a couple anymore.

And more importantly, I'm not going to keep fixing all his problems for him. Heck I can barely fix my own!

Off to hide in my sewing room!


Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32
D final 9/12
Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
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Did you get your hand sorted out, Wendy?


Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed.
D35,S/D twins28,D22
EA4/04 End? Who knows?
"Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
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Posts: 1,111
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My hand is sore and swollen, but not looking infected. Great bruise forming.....

I'm in the middle of a pity party here. Sorting out the bills and making list of all the accounts I want STBX to take his name off of. Trying to make sense of it all. Deciding there is no making sense of it.

I should be in bed sleeping, but just can't get there. I know it sounds stupid, but I wish I was alreasy done with this, and could see better times.

I've been working on my quilt for the show. And it is turning out nice. I was thinking about the big beautiful first quilt I made. I never put it on our bed, we never slept under it together. I have some fancy matching pillow shams I was making. So I'm kinda glad, I can use that when I start my new life where ever it is I land.

I use the Life is Good! motto on FB. I actually went on there and took my whole little about me section and deleted it and just wrote "Under Construction".

I also made it so my relationship status didn't show. Because none fit! I keep telling myself it will all work out. But sometimes I wonder how!

Good night all!


Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32
D final 9/12
Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
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I keep forgetting to run this by all my smart friends on here. H and I were watching a TV show the other day and he brought up something that happened when he was a sophmore in high school. Something I knew about, but have never really though about.

My H's dad was the superintendant of schools for the two counties there (Yuba-Sutter). Some nut job disagreed witha decision H's dad made about building a school for the handicapped. So the nut job FIREBOMBED the family home.

Luckily the eldery grandmother who lived there wasn't home that day, and everyone else was out. But this was a huge event, caused their family to end up living apart, granny to go to a nursing home, all kinds of media attention.

Anyway, it may not matter to me, but wow I wish H could see that this might be something he should have gotten some therapy for.

Thed other night was maybe the 3rd time I've heard H speak of the event.


Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32
D final 9/12
Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
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Interesting that he brought it up now - when kinda the same thing is happening in his life (except it's him and OW who threw the firebomb - but MLCers often don't know quite how they ended up where they did).

You might bring it up to him - gently - by saying "Gee, H, I was thinking about what you told me yesterday about being firebombed. I was wondering if it feels a little like that to you now, with all the changes coming in our lives?"

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(P.S. Then just LISTEN to his response, don't jump in with any psychoanalysis or anything).

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