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Another thing I feel is, if I neglect to look after our new born that is the initial stage of the problem.

When the problem arise, my parents and her parents get involve and things got worst. Now my relationship with her dad is bad. I you ask me to apologise to him, yes I did and not one but twice. He just don't want to accept.

The last time I ask her to come back, she said now I have make the situation like that already, are you happy? How will I be able to go back again like that?

I am really really sad. I stay alone in the big big house we once have dream at but now I am the only one in there. I feel depress at time. I can't concentrate at work and I am always here during office hour looking for help

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I know how nosy Chinese parents can be. Just remember that it's still your child and your wife and you life.

You apologized to her father which is good. If he doesn't accept it, that's his choice. In the end, you did the right thing.

You see, she's afraid that things will go back to the way they were just like I said. It will take time to get her trust back. That's why you have to show that you're a different man.

I'm sorry that you feel sad. But if you want to get your wife back, you have to shake that off and get your confidence back. The sports will help with that and the new physical look.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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Alright I will try hard to change my physical. As for her dad I will try to ignore. But here the problem, my parent are damn angry with that stupid old man now

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My mother keep telling me, you see you keep giving in and he is talking advantage of u. She ask me can u let go of her a not.

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There will be friends and family who will tell you to give up. It's up to YOU what you want. As a man, you make a decision and stick with it no matter how hard.

Try not to get your family (and hers) involved. If they try to butt in, then tell them politely that you appreciate their advice and will be handling things yourself.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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At this moment, what I want is to have the family intact. But everything seem so against my will.

Have you seen any story here that is as bad as me and manage to reconcile? I need some motivation.

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I've seen worse. I've seen stories where the wife actually has the husband arrested and they got back together again. I've seen stories that took 4 years or more to get back together. There is hope.

The only difference between them and you is that they learned and really understood how to divorce bust. They learned to follow the advice of others and change so that they became better people.

I understand you want hope. But only you have the power to change yourself. The faster you learn to do that, the faster you can get your wife back.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
Joined: Feb 2012
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CHANGE, that is the key but she never notice. She was never at home when I pick our son up every weekend. Today I was there to pick up my son again, I only see that sickening father of her.

I am really depress, really really depress.

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LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY!


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
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LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY!

"CHANGE, that is the key but she never notice."

IT DOESN'T MATTER IF SHE NOTICES! How many times do I have to tell you that? You have to change for you to be a better man. You have to change for your son so you are a better father. Eventually your wife will see. But you have to change for you and no one else first!

"I only see that sickening father of her."

Stop saying things like this. This shows you haven't changed. If you were a better man, her father wouldn't bother you so much. YOU have to be a better man. Like a superhero who always does the right thing even through other people don't like you. You keep changing for you.

If you become that man, you will stop being depressed.

Are you sure your wife isn't seeing somebody else?


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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