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#2240841 - 04/25/12 10:43 PM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: MrBond]
Use to be Offline
Member

Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 108
Sorry, this point I am not very sure. I order her around? Do you have an example?

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#2240844 - 04/25/12 10:53 PM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: Use to be]
MrBond Offline
Member

Registered: 06/18/08
Posts: 9833
"My spouse is someone who don't like people to be to harsh with her. That is part of the reason she cannot take it anymore and want a divorce."

This is what you said before. So were you too harsh with her? You also said that she told you she was afraid of you. It might not be true, but in her mind it is true.
_________________________
M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

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#2240846 - 04/25/12 10:55 PM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: MrBond]
Use to be Offline
Member

Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 108
Sorry MrBond maybe I am slow but what does these 2 point got to do with

when you don't pay attention to someone, they start paying attention to you?

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#2240999 - 04/26/12 03:29 PM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: Use to be]
MrBond Offline
Member

Registered: 06/18/08
Posts: 9833
You asked for examples of how you ordered her around. That's what I gave you.

I told you already about the paying attention part.

Here is your example: your wife is not paying attention to you so now you started paying attention to her. See?

Here is another example:
You ignored your wife and her needs before and if you look back, you ignored them. She told you about how she needed more help with your son before she said she wanted a divorce, but you ignored her. See? You stopped paying attention to her, so she paid more attention to you.

ANYWAY! It's just simple psychology and I'm not going to keep giving you examples.

The question is: Are you going to start doing what I and others have suggested? And, no I am not going to repeat myself again. You're going to have to read through what was posted before and truly understand.

You have to change before your wife can even think of coming back. It doesn't matter if she is there to see them or not. You make these changes for yourself. She will see those changes later.

But don't make changes and tell your wife "see I'm changing!" Because that's what you're doing and they are driving your wife away.
_________________________
M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

Top
#2241068 - 04/26/12 09:20 PM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: MrBond]
MrBond Offline
Member

Registered: 06/18/08
Posts: 9833
So what steps are you going to take next?
_________________________
M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

Top
#2241135 - 04/27/12 02:26 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: MrBond]
Use to be Offline
Member

Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 108
Steps?

Whenever i want to stop asking her to come back, I did it again.
I can't control myself.

Today even I know i should not do it, I text her during our conversion for her to give me a chance to date her again.

her reply, I am sorry but u have to find the courage to move on as this is something beyond anyone. I advise u to stop dweling as it do nobody any good

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#2241141 - 04/27/12 04:17 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: Use to be]
MrBond Offline
Member

Registered: 06/18/08
Posts: 9833
I see. So you want to give up?

YOu enjoy letting your wife do whatever she wants?
_________________________
M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

Top
#2241143 - 04/27/12 05:59 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: MrBond]
Use to be Offline
Member

Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 108
MrBond,

Today my boss told me I don't suit the job I am currently working as. She ask me whether I want to change my job. She know my family problem since Jan 2012 but she let me hold on to the job till today.

I am losing everything where I once have.

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#2241210 - 04/27/12 01:20 PM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: Use to be]
MrBond Offline
Member

Registered: 06/18/08
Posts: 9833
See? You are letting your wife affect everything you're doing. And it's not her fault. It's yours. You are allowing it to affect you.

That's why I say that you have to concentrate on something other than your wife. You can't keep coming up with schemes or plans to try and get her back. You must concentrate on your life now.
_________________________
M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

Top
#2241297 - 04/27/12 07:05 PM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: MrBond]
Use to be Offline
Member

Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 108
Without her in life, I can't be the person I used to be

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