i agree with bug, hang in there and breathe. what's done is done, and if you spend the energy beating yourself up about it , you'll waste it. use that energy to find ways to work with your D on how to make it better for her - and let her know that you love her just as much. she's hurting too
cut yourself some slack here - you are learning new ways to do everything and this is one of the things that's just next in line - you can only deal with it when you are ready - and now you are ready.
((( ))) zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
Take it from here, Rick. Don't go over the past, assign blame and anger toward W, try to figure out what happened, or otherwise send your energy backwards.
Sounds to me like D is crying for help. Is she ready to be in high school? Does she want help? Where was she for two months during school? She really needs you now, and needs your love and help, not your anger.
It's good that you've decided to be involved in her schooling now. Find out if you can, what's going on with her and how you can help.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
What tools do you have to release anger? Long bike ride? Run? Find something so you can work that out not on your W and D.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
I think by you getting more actively involved now, it will make a huge difference to D. She may be looking for that.
I agree with those who have said, rehashing the past and assigning blame isn't going to change anything. Find the tools you need for now and the future. Acknowledging your anger and your feelings towards your parents attitudes is a great first step.
I'm actually ok today. Did a bike ride and other stuff. I did not get angry or blame. I asked if she knew about her grades. She said she did. She turned any help down. I'm just glad I can come here and vent and not fly off the handle. Thanks guys
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
R- My s15's grades went in the dumper this year. He is only living with me and his mom still has yet to try to reach out to him and connect more so I take a lot of responsibility for him struggling.
Anyhow, this was a very tough year for him as I know it was for your d.
They are going to benefit from our new found sense of worth and everything else so lets do our best moving forward into next year.
