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#2242035 - 05/01/12 05:34 PM Re: It is time to let go and grow up!!! [Re: gr8 day 2B alive]
Rick1963 Offline
Member

Registered: 08/11/11
Posts: 2571
Loc: Piney Land
Thanks g8 and CB

"Suddenly you are no longer obsessed by the brutal reality of your situation. You find revelation and peace."

This ^^^is slowly happening. I have realized that the answers must come from within. It is a daily struggle at accepting the fact that W is not coming back, that my M is done. That all that I knew is no more. That my life will change drastically. But does that mean that my life will be awful? I feel guilt at times that I'm excited about the future. Sounds crazy I know. But I guess this is what needs to happen in order to get to the other side. Will keep at it.
_________________________
M 51
W 50
D 17
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 11/12
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden






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#2242070 - 05/01/12 07:51 PM Re: It is time to let go and grow up!!! [Re: gr8 day 2B alive]
ncl Offline
Member

Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 583
Hey Rick! I'm sorry things haven't improved in your marriage, but I'm glad you have found some good GAL activities you enjoy and that you've used this time to work on improving you. You've come such a long way since you first posted, and in my opinion, that is success!

I apologize if you covered this earlier, but have you and your wife spoken to your daughter yet about the upcoming court date? Is she aware that your wife has filed for divorce? I know the relationship between you and your wife is pretty chilly at home and that your daughter no doubt has picked up on this, but I was wondering if you have a custody/visitation plan in place and if you have shared that with your daughter.

Keep hanging in there! Hugs, ncl
_________________________
aka lc4 : )

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#2242078 - 05/01/12 08:15 PM Re: It is time to let go and grow up!!! [Re: ncl]
RoRoinMD Offline
Member

Registered: 01/18/12
Posts: 871
Hey Rick! Seems like you are moving into a new phase, and are handling things pretty well. Glad you are GALing and staying busy.

I know there's much more in store for you...so get ready! :-)
_________________________
Me:34
H:38
SS:19 - lives in NC with his mom
M:3
Bomb #1: 1/3/12 - We're not compatible. I want out.
Bomb #2: 1/12/12 - Found out about EA/PA
H moves out 10/2/12

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#2242080 - 05/01/12 08:16 PM Re: It is time to let go and grow up!!! [Re: RoRoinMD]
Rick1963 Offline
Member

Registered: 08/11/11
Posts: 2571
Loc: Piney Land
Roro You not gonna beat me up right?
_________________________
M 51
W 50
D 17
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 11/12
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden






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#2242086 - 05/01/12 08:29 PM Re: It is time to let go and grow up!!! [Re: Rick1963]
barely floating Offline
Member

Registered: 12/14/11
Posts: 757
put on your running shoes rick.. ro's coming for you.

you seem more peaceful. D doesn't mean the end. it's the beginning.. but of what? hmmmmm.. looks like you have been thinking about that. i think there are good things over the horizon.
_________________________
Me:38.. H:33.
Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3
M:8.. together for 11.
Bomb dropped:10/17/11
Separated:11/07/11

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#2242088 - 05/01/12 08:30 PM Re: It is time to let go and grow up!!! [Re: Rick1963]
Rick1963 Offline
Member

Registered: 08/11/11
Posts: 2571
Loc: Piney Land
NCl always good when you check in. I have not spoken to my D about court. She is aware that W filed because I told her. Not sure that was the right thing to do. I knwo W told her that we were Divorcing. But it was many months ago . And yes I noticed she does not like our interactions but I try to make it as pleasant as possible. I talked to my W about a schedule but she does not want to talk about it. Sometimes I think she believes she is just getting everything and I am gonna end up on the side walk. Thanks for the questions
_________________________
M 51
W 50
D 17
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 11/12
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden






Top
#2242095 - 05/01/12 08:58 PM Re: It is time to let go and grow up!!! [Re: Rick1963]
RoRoinMD Offline
Member

Registered: 01/18/12
Posts: 871
Originally Posted By: Rick1963
Roro You not gonna beat me up right?


Of course not! We are DB friends after all. That makes us blood. :-)
_________________________
Me:34
H:38
SS:19 - lives in NC with his mom
M:3
Bomb #1: 1/3/12 - We're not compatible. I want out.
Bomb #2: 1/12/12 - Found out about EA/PA
H moves out 10/2/12

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#2242537 - 05/03/12 12:50 PM Re: It is time to let go and grow up!!! [Re: RoRoinMD]
Rick1963 Offline
Member

Registered: 08/11/11
Posts: 2571
Loc: Piney Land
U the best Roro.

A little journaling

W has stopped talking to me period. Guess she is preparing for court in four weeks. I have also noticed she is buying the bare minimum of food? That is one of two bills she is responsible. Next month she will be responsible for many bills that she doesn't know exists. I think she is saving for a trial but so am I. my L thinks it will be pretty cut and dry and I hope to keep it that way.

I have also confirmed that my D gives her a difficult time in getting ready for school. She does not do that to me. A little but not to that degree.

Have some serious GALing coming up. More fun than I have time for. Looking forward to it. It really helps. Have NEVER had so many social events to attend in my life. I think my W does not like it too much. But not my problem. Still some depression but I can handle it so far.
_________________________
M 51
W 50
D 17
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 11/12
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden






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#2242556 - 05/03/12 01:39 PM Re: It is time to let go and grow up!!! [Re: Rick1963]
2thepoint Offline
Member

Registered: 09/30/11
Posts: 1692
Rick - It is the GAL that keeps you sane throughout this process. Good to hear you have so much going on.

You may have covered this before but how much of your D's behavior do you think is attributed to the pending D vs. typical teenage oppositional behavior? Have you and/or your W discussed the upcoming D with your d? Does she understand what is about to happen.

I understand the depression. Are you doing anything about that?

Hang in there.
_________________________
Me48 W50 S15 S11
M20 T23
Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11

It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.

Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife

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#2242569 - 05/03/12 02:34 PM Re: It is time to let go and grow up!!! [Re: 2thepoint]
2thepoint Offline
Member

Registered: 09/30/11
Posts: 1692
Duh! just scrolled up a little more and saw your post "#2242088 - 05/01/12 04:30 PM" where you explain about your D. Never mind. Carry on...;)
_________________________
Me48 W50 S15 S11
M20 T23
Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11

It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.

Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife

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