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Joined: Apr 2012
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peringo Offline OP
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My wife is having an affair with a coworker, she has moved out of the family home, has severed all contact with my family and all of her friends that are married. She has filed for divorce, her attorney is the sister-in-law to the man she is seeing. The man she is seeing is 12 years older than her, divorced, with two children, and he is still currently living with hie ex-wife.

My wife and I have a 19month son, my wife will not see or do therapy, she says its to late and to much has happened, that she does not love me anymore and that she married the wrong man.

In the begining I was doing alot of begging,pleading, reaching out to family and friends, which has seemed to push her very far away, I havn't been doing that lately and have become more unavailable to her, even though she only seems to call to tell me how I am a bad father and that she is building a case against me.

When there are any face to face oppertunities I am dressed nice and smelling good, giving the image that I have places to go and people to see, but she is unfased by this, showing no signs of any interest.

I have run out of ideas, to open her eyes to what she is doing and how it is negativly impacting our son.

I love my wife dearly, I have a plan for my own actions, but I need a plan to get through to her... help advice thoughts


Me: 37 W:33
S: 2
M: 9/5/09
Suspected: 1/7/12
Confirmed: 2/10/12
Served: 3/29/12
W moved out 3/30/12
First court 5/17/12
HELP!
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
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i feel your pain. i am in a similar boat. my wife is moving out in a week i think. i have been trying the same things with no results. i too easily take the bait when she wants to argue.

i have been reading alot of the forums. starting to gain an understanding from it. i would start there


m:31 W:32
M:8 T:11
S:10
D:5
Bomb:1/07/12
Separated:4/23/12
Divorced: 12/12/12

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peringo Offline OP
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Wife's birthday yesterday, sent her an edible arrangement from her son, no response.

Picked my son up on wednesday, she made a point to tell me her relationship is getting stronger with the other man.

Heartbroken beyond belief....


Me: 37 W:33
S: 2
M: 9/5/09
Suspected: 1/7/12
Confirmed: 2/10/12
Served: 3/29/12
W moved out 3/30/12
First court 5/17/12
HELP!
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 335
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Originally Posted By: peringo
she made a point to tell me her relationship is getting stronger with the other man.


I wonder why she would have said that? What brought this up anyway? What do you think made her say that?

Joined: Apr 2012
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peringo Offline OP
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My best guess is she's dealing with lots of guilt she's trying to make me upset so I do something to justify her actions...

For the sake of my son how can I get in between her and the other guy?

At some level she must know this is wrong, I wish to give that part of her some strength.


Me: 37 W:33
S: 2
M: 9/5/09
Suspected: 1/7/12
Confirmed: 2/10/12
Served: 3/29/12
W moved out 3/30/12
First court 5/17/12
HELP!
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 149
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peringo Offline OP
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Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 149
I also got caught in the mail yesterday my first court date, you can't imagine how much I want this all to go away....


Me: 37 W:33
S: 2
M: 9/5/09
Suspected: 1/7/12
Confirmed: 2/10/12
Served: 3/29/12
W moved out 3/30/12
First court 5/17/12
HELP!
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 149
P
peringo Offline OP
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Posts: 149
So what is the best plan of attack.... when she says she is rebuilding her life, and there is nearly no communication?


Me: 37 W:33
S: 2
M: 9/5/09
Suspected: 1/7/12
Confirmed: 2/10/12
Served: 3/29/12
W moved out 3/30/12
First court 5/17/12
HELP!
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 149
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peringo Offline OP
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Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 149
Yesterday, wife called, first time in 10 days, ask if I was happy with my lawyer, asked abouther our son's new furniture I bought him, mentioned that she did not like the situation we are in, and that she wishes it could be different.

Later I went to pick up our son, and she is then made a point to show me a necklace the other man bought her for her birthday.... WTF!


Me: 37 W:33
S: 2
M: 9/5/09
Suspected: 1/7/12
Confirmed: 2/10/12
Served: 3/29/12
W moved out 3/30/12
First court 5/17/12
HELP!
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 149
P
peringo Offline OP
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Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 149
She called today to discuss pending court date, she said the only thing we have in common is our son.... what can I do?


Me: 37 W:33
S: 2
M: 9/5/09
Suspected: 1/7/12
Confirmed: 2/10/12
Served: 3/29/12
W moved out 3/30/12
First court 5/17/12
HELP!
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