25 I will research and go because i need this for me. I think i put the nail in the marital coffin the last week. It is mind blowing to me how we were getting along 10 days ago and this was even during the death of our dog. Oh well the past is the past.
I am going to research that course. I am on the EC.
I have anger issues. They are all learned from a very abusive upbringing that I'm really getting frustrated that I can't break. Very frustrated. Honestly I am not sure a 3 day workshop is going to fix me in any shape or form.
I need to fix this not react thing or its going to be a very long co parenting journey. Be right or be happy. I get it. There is a balance to from being a doormat.
Do you want to turn that anger on your beautiful children? Sweet little kids turn into challenging frustrating teens. You need to stop excusing your anger and talking about how hard this is for you. It's not easy for anyone, not any of us, to change. Decide who you'll be and keep doing the next right thing.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
I've been working on anger issues for only 6 weeks now. I'm trying and will not stop. I do finally believe me and my W are not compatible though. But I want to work on my anger, lack of communication skills and lack of listening skills for me and my new future role in co-parenting.
It's a shame. I wish my wife would give me more time and I wish I learned how to communicate properly. I know i need to fix this badly. I know the areas that I need to work on badly. Not just for co-parenting but any sort of relationship.
Even though she is so nasty if I was a good listener and did not react no blow outs would happen because they couldn't by not reacting. Unfortunately I am not there yet. Not even close. But at least I recognize this. I will be researching that weekend communication thing that 25 mentioned. If for anything it will help me through the mediation process
Wish me luck. I am very sad today. It is painful. I really just want to ask her to be friends going forward. For the kids sake
That's good net. Stay resolved. It isn't easy, and if one thing doesn't work plan the next thing you'll try. You've got to become who you are independent of what she or anyone else does in a given moment.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
Also, visualize success. KNOW that you will solve your anger problem. Don't fixate on the short term of this not working or that taking time. Stay on the course and keep focused on the end point. Each slip up is a learning experience not a failure.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
adinva I just get bent out of shape that my marriage is dissolving. Plus the last week it just turned so bad so quick. Almost like when she decided to pull the trigger she just got nasty to me. I'm going to try to be very strong through the 1st mediation appointment. I really wish she would council with me just to be good co-parents. Anways enough about her. Im going to continue to work on me. Im looking into a day job too
Your view of last week is as if W is on a linear course. She's not. Each moment is a moment. Each of our spouses spews. No one is in this sitch because their spouse was nice. Expect nasty. Follow the 37 rules, work on you. You know what to do.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
Yes Adinva I understand but we are going Tuesday to start the divorce process. It's official. Unless some miracle happens. I talked to the mediator and he said once it gets to this point not many spouses turn back. He was being very honest with me. Told me to have open mind
That's probably true Net. What difference does knowing that make?
You're here at this point and it suxx.
Do you learn what you've realized you need to learn, or do you not bother because it won't stop the D.
What you are feeling is what the 37 rules were MADE for.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
