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#2240632 - 04/25/12 10:17 AM Re: Recently Seperated Part 9 [Re: ThisDayForward]
ThisDayForward Offline
Member

Registered: 01/16/12
Posts: 2124
Kd playing tpc golf course today first time ever

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#2240635 - 04/25/12 10:29 AM Re: Recently Seperated Part 9 [Re: ThisDayForward]
ThisDayForward Offline
Member

Registered: 01/16/12
Posts: 2124
La the advice I was seeking was do I goto mediator consultation or not. She set it up and asked me to go

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#2240648 - 04/25/12 10:55 AM Re: Recently Seperated Part 9 [Re: ThisDayForward]
~ kd ~ Offline
Member

Registered: 03/20/11
Posts: 4866
Loc: Canoe'k-land
Could'a, should'a, would'a net....

Your counsellor gave you good feedback. Your resistance has created the context of where you are, right now...

This isn't a question of whether you should go to the meeting with your W, or not...

This is a question of WHO you are...

The answer to WHO... is what drives you... it is why you are in panic mode...

Functionally, life is a very simple experience of "do I turn left or right?"...

What you are resisting is the meaning... What the MEANING of LEFT and RIGHT...

You have no idea what is going to happen at the meeting... yet deep down... you already know what is going to happen... what the result or outcome will be... because you know how you are going to be...

I can give you one exercise, and one exercise only... that can change the outcome of the meeting... and possibly your entire sitch...

Every day, from now till the meeting... do something different... other than you would do...

Brush your teeth with a different hand... eat something different for breakfast... make yourself a sandwich for lunch using toasted, frozen waffles... drive a different way to work... drive a different way back... sleep with your feet at the headboard... watch TV with your eyes closed...

I am asking yourself to give you as many opportunities to do something different... to risk making a mistake... to throw yourself off your well honed centre...

Because doing something different is very likely going to be what it takes for you to turn this around...

Taking the chance to do this exercise at as many opportunities as possible could help you make different choices... to be different... at the meeting... and change the outcome that may already be pre-determined...

That is truly the best advice I can give you...

Good luck...

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#2240657 - 04/25/12 11:38 AM Re: Recently Seperated Part 9 [Re: ~ kd ~]
ThisDayForward Offline
Member

Registered: 01/16/12
Posts: 2124
I see sort of what your saying

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#2240661 - 04/25/12 11:42 AM Re: Recently Seperated Part 9 [Re: ThisDayForward]
AprilT Offline
Member

Registered: 03/26/12
Posts: 127
Loc: Georgia
Net go to the meeting....you having nothing to lose at this point and everything to gain.

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#2240662 - 04/25/12 11:42 AM Re: Recently Seperated Part 9 [Re: ThisDayForward]
ThisDayForward Offline
Member

Registered: 01/16/12
Posts: 2124
It is a paid consult with mediator kd hard not to panic. I'm going on there with open mind and no resistance . If this is what W needs to heal then so be it. Maybe it's what I need to heal too.

I'm going to try not to react and just listen

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#2240665 - 04/25/12 11:45 AM Re: Recently Seperated Part 9 [Re: ThisDayForward]
~ kd ~ Offline
Member

Registered: 03/20/11
Posts: 4866
Loc: Canoe'k-land
ok, good...

Here's the thing though, NM... none of us can be with you to help you through this on a moment by moment basis... to help motivate you in times that you need a little nudge...

This is something that you are going to have to find within yourself...

Are you easily... squirrel!!!.... distracted?

Find a way to focus on what you need to do. You need to want this so bad, that you will practice this stuff... that you will DB... in your sleep... in your dreams...

You can dream to be that basketball star... but dreaming won't get you the goal... you need to get a ball in your hand and start tossing hoops... and with that practice, you get good... and then better... and then you become a star...

Convert all that energy and effort of knowing... into doing... and you'll see results...

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#2240775 - 04/25/12 06:26 PM Re: Recently Seperated Part 9 [Re: ~ kd ~]
ThisDayForward Offline
Member

Registered: 01/16/12
Posts: 2124
Kd you still confuse me. You make it sound like if I go in there and just listen and not react that things may possibly change

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#2240776 - 04/25/12 06:32 PM Re: Recently Seperated Part 9 [Re: ThisDayForward]
ThisDayForward Offline
Member

Registered: 01/16/12
Posts: 2124
What I need is a game plan where I stay focused and dont react

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#2240785 - 04/25/12 07:56 PM Re: Recently Seperated Part 9 [Re: ThisDayForward]
ThisDayForward Offline
Member

Registered: 01/16/12
Posts: 2124
OMG I am furious. She told my S6 that daddy is never sleeping at home again. Without talking to me. While he is still in school.

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