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#2242437 - 05/02/12 08:48 PM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: Use to be]
MrBond Online   content
Member

Registered: 06/18/08
Posts: 9814
Okay. So how about taking it slow and asking for more time with your son. Not overnight, but more hours.

Tell her that you are the father and you have an equal right to be with your son. Tell her that you understand her concerns and that she is more than welcome to join you and him, but you are going to be spending more time with him because it's more important for him to spend time with his own father than with her parents.

If she gives you a hard time about it, then tell your lawyer to come up with an order to demand equal time.

Be sure that you speak very calmly and be very cool about this.
_________________________
M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

Top
#2242443 - 05/02/12 09:10 PM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: MrBond]
MrBond Online   content
Member

Registered: 06/18/08
Posts: 9814
The thing is that your wife thinks you are very controlling. So be sure that when you talk to her, you do so in a very straight forward manner. That's why telling her that she can come along would help.

And remember to validate what she says.
_________________________
M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

Top
#2242511 - 05/03/12 04:15 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: MrBond]
Use to be Offline
Member

Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 108
I already know what is the outcome of doing so. And I believe you can judge by her character of the reply yesterday what is the outcome and that is why u ask me to seek lawyer help.

U know, I starting to think why has she become a person like that? The love, care that once she given to me are all gone. I am tired and very tired.

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#2242512 - 05/03/12 04:51 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: Use to be]
MrBond Online   content
Member

Registered: 06/18/08
Posts: 9814
So you're ready to give up?

"U know, I starting to think why has she become a person like that?"

You still don't understand. You made her like that. The way you treated her. The way you didn't help her. YOU made her like that.

The reason why she doesn't want to give you any love or care is because she did it before and instead of loving her back, you controlled her life. You told her she couldn't go out. You didn't help her. You didn't do alot of things.

It doesn't matter that you're trying to do it now. She has already hit the point where she doesn't want to try any more. It doesn't mean that she can't change her mind. She can. But you have to prove it to her that you are a changed man.

So far I haven't seen you do anything to prove that you can change. You are still only thinking about yourself.

Do you want to be lonely and confused? Then do something. Follow the steps I've outlined. It's getting very frustrating when you don't do anything and yet you keep coming on here and asking why nothing's working. It's because you didn't do anything yet.

The process could take days, weeks, months or even years. If you can't handle it, then I would suggest you sign the divorce papers and let her be free so her and your son can be happy.

Is that what you want?
_________________________
M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

Top
#2242523 - 05/03/12 07:21 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: MrBond]
Use to be Offline
Member

Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 108
Being the best dad is what I am always doing now, since mid march till today I am still doing. I took leave today and bring GR out to have fun. My mother in law follow me too. But I am really piss off when her mother told me her dad told me not to go into her daughter room anymore. GR is sleeping in her room, I am just going in to see him sleep. Can u see the stress I am facing?

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#2242524 - 05/03/12 07:23 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: Use to be]
Use to be Offline
Member

Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 108
By the way MrBond, you said so far I have not being doing anything?
I thought working on my boy is what you have suggested?

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#2242591 - 05/03/12 11:58 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: Use to be]
MrBond Online   content
Member

Registered: 06/18/08
Posts: 9814
Yes it is good that you are with your boy.

Now your goal is to spend time with him without your in laws watching.

Or if they are with you, make sure you're the best father there is. Maybe if they are with you, you let them play with you and your son to try and get them on your side. Be nice to them no matter how badly they treat you.
_________________________
M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

Top
#2242696 - 05/03/12 06:18 PM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: MrBond]
Use to be Offline
Member

Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 108
I am already spending time with him without my in law watching. Yesterday is just one time event only and I have been a loving dad infront of her.

But u know, my mother in law does try to talk to my wife before but she told her, if u ever bring out the issue again, she will shift out of her house so she dare not talk to her anymore

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#2242711 - 05/03/12 08:18 PM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: Use to be]
MrBond Online   content
Member

Registered: 06/18/08
Posts: 9814
What else have you done to change?
_________________________
M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

Top
#2242721 - 05/03/12 09:00 PM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: MrBond]
Use to be Offline
Member

Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 108
I know my change involved not to control her and I know begging, tell her about the past just don't work. I need lot of patient but I always lost it.

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