i have been reading your post a couple of times. processing it through. ack!! La.. why do you always have to be so.. so right?? jk. thank you for writing this. i really learn so much when i read what others have to say. it forces me to consider things i wouldn't otherwise think about.

labug,
This is so insightful; I'm in awe of your ability to understand your own patterns and describe them in ways that can make such a difference to others struggling with similar issues.

Just wanted to let you know how much you've helped me with this.

Best, NLW.

I know what you mean, labug. However, if you can detach from this and truly accept each person as they are, there is a lot of freedom to be found.

Well, I thought I was detached...

And then I got no acknowledgement on Mother's Day. Yes, it was an expectation. He had emailed me a Happy Mother's Day last year and we were S then. And I am still the mother of his children and a very good one, I might add. (Yes, they remembered.)

I'm hurting and I want to email him something hurtful...but I won't. I don't know that I could hurt him,

I'm not going to mind-read about why, I have to be OK with not knowing why or at least not speculating.

Help me walk through this.

((((((Bug)))))))))

His mistake. Not yours. Glad your sons remembered you on this day.

You're absolutely right about not e-mailing him. Regardless of the hurt, it won't help you.

Whether or not your H remembers has no bearing on how great a Mom you are. Don't let his screw-up take that from you!

Maybe go shoot something???

Put his picture up as your target at the local gun range....I tell ya it works miracles for any pent up agression....Just sayin.


Hang in there sweetie. I know it hurts.

Thanks, for the ideas.

I need to get back to work on my internal boundaries.

Big hugs, bug

Many things go through my head about your H and yesterday. Could he be wanting to see how you respond? Could he not be detached enough to send a card?

But my concern is not him, but you... Please take good care of yourself today, bug.

((( )))

Thanks, I'm off to my regular IC appt!

this is so true. It's amazing to be able to see it and make a concious effort to change it. I just saw it as me stopping acting crazy. Waiting the 24 hours before I text some nastiness. I do use humor as a shield. I think so many of us do. I've always appreciated the advice you've given me and reading your thread has been really wonderful today. thank you!