Indecision and the affair continues (part 3)

[unbidden]

Also, I avoided telling my kids about my divorce from their father for months because I was so afraid of hurting them. In the end, it was much easier than all the fear that I'd built up about it and it really was a relief to have that over with. Just a thought.

[Nblost]

Thanks for the input.

We had told the kids we were separating in January and H would be moving out of the house. He then proceeded to push off moving out even after I filed.

He finally moved last weekend. He took some random stuff and I anticipate will take more this weekend. He won't take everything because his new place is small (yet on the water in Southern CA so don't pity him too much...ha ha)

I think the kids are starting to understand and we now need to tell them. I think we both have a seed of uncertainty in us that's made us hesitant. And, I think deep down, we both don't view ourselves as people to give up on marriage.

But, we're here and I agree that his actions (and attitude) mean divorce. I have to keep moving ahead.

Our family counselor (who I loved) said he thinks H needs three months of living alone to know for sure what he wants. The earliest we can officially divorce is September so that will give him a chance to see what his new life is like.

I agree though that we need to say the D word to the kids. H should want to...it's the next step he needs to start building towards introducing them to OW.

We're pretty much at "no contact" now except around kid logistics. Although, last weekend when he was moving out, we were actually laughing together over some of the crappy stuff he was taking to furnish his new place.

I think the good news for me is that through this board, some smart things and some dumb things I've done...I've detached pretty well. I'm sad over the marriage ending, but I feel like a weight has been lifted. I feel free.

[Nblost]

Also, H travels 2,000 miles away to OW's city for work. He's gone at least 5 days a week. Recently, he was gone for 2.5 weeks straight. We go for 2-3 days with no contact very often, and usually only connect via text about the kids.

So, it's pretty dark. He doesn't get any emotional or physical support from me anymore.

[keep_going]

Nblost,

I just got caught up on your thread. I don't know what to say except my heart goes out to you. I so, so relate to what you are going thru and what you are feeling.

I am so sorry about this, but I also understand that at least having some movement in your sitch (H moving out), is a relief IN SOME WAYS.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and I admire your strength.

I understand how you feel like a weight has been lifted. You have gone thru a lot.

(((hugs)))